No place like home

Wow...I don't really know where to start. It has been way too long since I have last written. As most of you know, I am back home... safe and sound. Missing Africa and the children with all my heart but comforted by the smells, sounds, and feelings of home...

To wrap up the end of my trip in this one blog would be difficult. Saying goodbye to the children, leaving my home away from home, and experiencing such closure was difficult to say the least. Once I left Living Water I endulged in a mini vacation in Zanzibar. Zanzibar is a tiny tropical island of the coast of East Africa. Stunning, quiet, and absolutely serene. Sleeping in stilted huts, sun bathing in hammocks, and swimming with wild dolphins in the Indian Ocean is something I never envisioned 4 months ago. It was the perfect end to a long journey.

Now, being back home has been challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love America but my goodness it was/is quite overwhelming to be back in the western world. I was in complete culture shock arriving in Africa; however, the shock on the return journey has been worse. Maybe it was because it was right before Christmas but the commotion and concerns of most the the people I observed were far from what I came from. I'm guitly too. My concerns were the same before I left. Hopefully, I can find an even balance between the two worlds; a lifestyle formed from two opposite, diverse cultures.

It is hard to believe that my Africa adventure is over and done with. Well, not "done" but my physical presence in that continent is gone. My trip was so anticipated. For months beforehand I was preparing for it; my whole life was altered prior to the actual departure date. Looking back and now looking forward I'm focusing on staying on two feet.

Going to Africa was the best choice I have ever made. All my concerns, worries, anxieties before were well worth the growth that happened within myself. As a human I struggle. I still will just like everyone else. However, I have finally reached the confidence in myself to acknowledge a struggle, consider my options, and put one foot in front of the other. I'm sick of playing the role as a victim. Everyone has hardships; everyone hurts. The second I started living my life not feeling like I was constantly under attack and quick to blame others, I actually started living again. It was a neccessary awakening and has profoundly changed my life, relationships, and love towards people. I'm so very thankful for the patient people, and the not so patient people. Ironically, all the missing puzzle pieces are slowing coming together...

I will continue to write on here as often as I feel. For now, I am Kates in Vegas. I will start school again in January while I am preparing for my next travel abroad...coming this fall! Please pray for my transition back to real life. It has taken quite the adjustment and I still have a long "journey" when entering reality again. Also, pray that I maintain the humility and surrendering lifestyle that I so badly want to keep. It's easier to be as "katie" as I want to be when I am away so I am searching for the courage to simply maintain. I want to live for others not myself; I truly believe there is no greater fulfillment.

Thank you to those who believed in me. Thank more for those who did not.

I have a burden to share my story. It is difficult because some people see my self expression as an act of selfishness, "look at me and my great deeds" kind of persona. The truth is far from that. As humans we are given the opportunity to find security and create an unending inspiration to overcome; I strongly hope that others will search within and simply invite change to take place. I needed to love myself before I could envision loving others. As for me and myself, I am completly surrendering my life, my story, my future...

May you have a safe, spontaneous, and joyful New Year.

mimi nina omwa sana!!

Whoa! It has been awhile! I have good and bad news. I'll start with the bad. I HAVE MALARIA! Its sucks...bad! To make light of my poor condition I have written a really ridiculous, cheesy, and silly poem:

I'm not a very good poet so I could be wasting your time,
I'm sick as a dog in bed so I thought I'd bust a rhyme!



You see I have malaria and it's not a pretty sight,
don't worry I won't die so excuse your possible fright.



I've got the migraines and the fevers too,
also the body aches, dizziness, and really runny poo.



I think I forgot to mention the cold sore on my face,
I swear those parasites are eating me like it's a fricken race!



I know I'm really disgusting for sharing my poor state,
Good thing I'm in Africa not worrying 'bout a date!



This is an addition to "You know you are in Africa when",
I have so many others from places I have already been!



This definitely tops the charts of "adventures" while I'm here,
I can't take much more, thank goodness the end is near!



I hope you get a kick out of this cuz it's helping me feel better,
Hop on a plane to Africa and let's suffer together!!



I've shed some tears and laughed a lot,
"Hakuna Matata" is what I've been taught.



No need to worry, no need to fret,
I'll be better in no time on that I would bet.



It's good to make light of the things you can't control,
If life wasn't challenging it would be so very dull!!



I need to stop before I make a bigger fool,
I have Malaria people and it really isn't cool!!!

So, yeah. I knew it was a risk coming here but didn't really hope for it! I was much more afraid of it in America. Now that I am here, its part of every day life. The doctor think I got it in Dar es Salaam. That was my first week here! I was tested my 3rd week but the results were negative. As unfortunate as it is, I am glad I finally know what has been making me sick. The meds are working great and I am finally improving! No need to worry anymore Mom and Dad! :)

Moving on! I have been at Living Water for the past week and a half. Last week was great! VERY busy and exhausting but really really wonderful! There are 32 children at the center. We did so much. Last week was there last week of school so we were preparing them for the closing day party. It was great fun! We taught them two Christmas songs. It was very strange because its summer here. I just don't feel like it is the holidays! I'm actually just going to bullet point some things I did to make this shorter.

- carried more cow poop on my head for the garden and planted loads of vegetables
-canoed around Lake Deluti. The water was pee green but the surrounding areas were really pretty
-went to maasai camp and danced!
-played loads of soccer and volleyball with the kids
-read, colored, entertained the children!
-ate banana bread and watched Finding Nemo
-learned African "hip-hop" and was sore for days
-spent all night baking cookies and making fresh juice for the party

The party was interesting! The two volunteers and I had to do an African dance, dressed as Africans, singing in Swahili for the children! I have it on video but I am embarrassed to show it! haha it was quite humorous and the kids loved it. Good fun. The kids also performed! The school choir sang, danced, and even did a drama. It was so entertaining!!!

Then Saturday night I got sick and Sunday I went to the hospital. Then these last four days I have been relaxing and sleeping quite a bit. I think these meds make me a little delusional so I will probably re-read this and laugh at what I am saying!

This is my last weekend in Arusha! I seriously don't know where the time went! I leave Africa in 12 days.. insane! I go to Zanzibar on the 12Th and then home! Pray that I am better because I am really looking forward to laying on the beach and delighting in a mini vacation!

Thank you everyone for all the support! I am looking forward to my return and sharing all my adventures!

PEACE,

katie koo

clearing clutter

Sister sister hello! I had so much fun making this and taking this picture. I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do :)

An all boys boarding school. This was SO cool to see. The boy in the front works for the orphanage and he took us to visit his school. Was actually a VERY nice campus and really interesting to see!

Robinson.

Good Hope Primary School that I have been teaching at.

awwwww. Flansista Livin and Amina Hidaya.

The boys bustin' a move! The live show is so much more entertaining!

Got fish eyes? yummy dinner...NOT.

Skydiving! Look at that tiny plane! The guy was my tandem.

The view from the plane just minutes before I jumped! 10,000 feet above ground!

Sweet get up.

Popati and Ally celebrating their birthday.

The Art of Simplicity

"When most people think of simplicity, they think of clean closets and empty spaces, organized lives and cleared schedules. While simplicity does manifest in those forms, inner simplicity does not depend on outward circumstances. When you clear the clutter within, you'll eventually see a corresponding outer simplicity. But if you are full of chaos within, even a simple life will become littered with unfinished business and unnecessary drama. Choosing to cultivate inner simplicity helps you develop a mature way of life that has its own focus and order, even if your daily life is busy and complex.

One of the most difficult things to do is to release things, ideas, and relationships that no longer serve us. We often save every old thing. 'Just in case'. You'll open a kitchen drawer and it will be filled with clutter: old rubber bands, pieces of string, used aluminum foil, and other miscellaneous bits and pieces. That kitchen drawer is a metaphor for life. Filled with things that you keep holding on to, pretty soon the drawer is so full you can't find anything at all. Even if you could remember what you have squirreled away in that drawer, you couldn't find it to use it. So you keep the drawer with more stuff you can't use and don't need anymore.

We do that with our lives, too. Old grudges, old resentments, old attitudes, and old ways of coping--we'll keep them around because we've gotten used to them and aren't sure we'd know what to do with out them. We'll stuff an old belief system that no longer works for us into a back drawer of our minds. Because it's still in there, it will affect our choices even when we are not conscience of it. For example, you might be meeting someone new who would be labeled in the old belief system as "unacceptable" and while you might now understand that every single person is beloved and beautiful, there will be a whisper of "unacceptable" even when you are trying your best to be open and friendly. Or you'll be looking in the mirror and suddenly realize it won't be the adult your seeing, but the unhappy junior high student who felt ugly and didn't fit in. You are still carrying that old image of yourself, even though it is useless baggage that you could live without.

Old judgements, old priorities, old belief systems, old ways of doing things are all clutter that needs to be taken out and examined. If it still works for you, keep it. But if it's no longer helpful or distracts you from what is most important, maybe it's time to let it go. Some ideas and things are like timeless classics. They wear well, they're made well, and they still look good and are useful after all these years later. Others are like clothing that is out of date and which no longer fits who you are now. It's time to let it all go and make room for something that is more aligned with who you are becoming.

It's time to choose voluntarily simplicity. Paradoxically, sometimes arranging things and clearing space in your outer life can help you in the process of creating inner simplicity. The very act of sorting material things can help you sort your thoughts and priorities. Begin by releasing the things that you can no longer care for and attend to. Start with material things-cleaning closets, attics, basements, storerooms, garages. Give away or sell what could be useful to others. Put back into circulation those things which you've been holding onto. Organize what you decide to keep so you know where everything is and what is available to you.

Then, take a look at your past an see what attitudes and beliefs no longer work for you. If you've been holding grudges against others, release them. If you've been hanging onto old regrets, let go and let God take care of the past. Long-standing judgments of others and of yourself not longer serve you. Wipe the slate clean and allow God to write a new story of hope and joy where the old one of hurt and anger used to be. Limited ideas and false beliefs keep you from exploring new ideas and widening your horizons. Let go of them, just as you let go of the old clothing you gave away. Let the healing energy of forgiveness release the limitations of resentment and destructive energy from your consciousness.

As you release the old, you'll make room for the good that God wants to bring into your life. You'll discover a new energy and zest, because you wont be using all your energy to carry around old baggage. Clearing the clutter allows the energy to flow more freely, and you'll bring more focus and clarity to the way you live your life."

Simplicity is.... releasing that which no longer serves me.

Let me tell you a little about my life. Right now, I am feeling completely surrendered to the environment around me. I feel as if all this was planned for me; just like I'm a pawn on a chess board. It is a bright Saturday morning in Tanzania. The air is alive and pure after a night of warm rain. I am a solo traveler today. I woke up to laughing children and a gurgling water spout attempting to provide but miserably failing. It was a big yawn and comfortable stretch that began my serene day in the land among the Africans. Being alone is one of the most precious gifts God gave us. Especially here, it is a gratifying indulgence. Escaping the noise of orphans and entering the hustle and bustle of the town has become an easy transition. Now, I find myself with a pen, a book, and a steamy cup of coffee.

I guess coming here I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know who I was going to be, who I was going to meet, and what exactly I was going to see. Now that I am here, I do not fear the future; the past consumes much of my thought process. Some of which I wish I didn't focus on and most of which I just need to let go. Reading The Art of Simplicity was not a waste of time. I opened to the exact page that lead to my inner freedom on this lovely day. Those that know me well know that it is a constant struggle to let go and move on. I dwell on my actions, others reactions, and bluntly care too much. This chapter in my book was exactly what I needed to read and I feel it is precisely accurate; I think many people should and could apply this to their own life. Re-read it many times for more is revealed after each attempt to understand. It took me several repetitions to actually comprehend and appreciate what the lyrical text meant to me. Although it is a very simple idea, sometimes it needs to jump out you to make you consider change among yourself.

Through out most of my life I have struggled with this concept. I have learned that people come and go, trials hurt then heal, and above all, the sun still rises and sets everyday. I have wasted too much energy on worrying about others and changes I wish I had made. The truth is the past is the past; It is there to learn. I have been hurt, and hurt others. I continue to say things I shouldn't and listen to gossip that only adds negativity to my inner self. But, letting go is a bridge to self maturation and I believe is a healthy way to look behind with a grin and forward with a smile. Not only does it shape me as a better person now, but releases any irritation towards others from the past. Life takes us where we allow it, and places people on the exact longitude and latitude that fits each individual. It feels damn good to forgive myself, and forgive others.

I know this is long but unfortunately you all caught me either pmsing or just completely content with my emotional standing right now. Since my homesickness faded after Thanksgiving, I have viewed my life and the small things I am thankful for. To me and most of America, Thanksgiving is a day that I really do feel grateful for. I strive to take quiet time and simply show appreciation. This Thanksgiving was unlike any other.

Although there are many, many things I am thankful for here's just a few:

- Imre my stuffed sock monkey

- A strong family with parents still happily married

- A wise girl once said " You need to give it up in order for God to step in." - Katie Ford

(To this day Katie doesn't know that I wrote that down in my journal after a long discussion about a year ago. At that moment, it was a very profound yet simple phrase and has helped me and will continue to do so. If by small chance you are reading this, thank you Katie.)

- THE bullet

- antibacterial gel haha

- American football

- The blessing that I don't have to wonder if I will ever go with out food

- The small, innocent, dirty hands of orphans

- The stranger that just became family

- most of all, this experience and the courage that so many others have proven to me

These are just a few of my favorite things. I am very blessed, and very thankful. I wish I gave myself more quiet time solely to reflect on the wonderfu blessings in my life. Perhaps from this day forward I can make that a goal and not wait for the next national holiday designated holiday to being thankful.

A quick wrap-up to my adventures. Tonight is my LAST NIGHT AT GOOD HOPE. I can hardly believe how quick time has gone. It is a bitter sweet ending! In the morning I am going to Living Water Childrens Orphanage. I will be there until December 11. Then, I am going to Zanzibar and then home! I can't believe its only a little over 3 weeks! I am still encountering very odd, humerous, adventures and feel like I could write a book after all this. I look forward to my return and sharing everything to who ever will listen!

I hope America is well and THANKFUL.

"The depth of one's letting go determines the depth of one's freedom."

-Karen Goldman

turkey turkey turkey

Happy Turkey day! I knew there would be times when I felt the most homesick. Thanksgiving is definitely one of them. I miss being home and playing turkey football! Everyone eat some stuffing for me because my cuisine is not quite the same!

So today was a very cool day! I went to the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda! The Rwanda genocide herrings are held in Arusha so we went and sat in on them! You sit behind a glass and listen through headphones fro the interpretations but you can see everything going on. Its really very interesting that these trials are STILL running and will continue to for a long time! to be honest, it was really hard to follow along because it is all confusing but still... it was cool! I wish I wasn't ADD because I could have stayed longer but... i could only take so much.

I moved beds! No more top bunk from satan anymore! I know that means nothing to you but you have no idea how much better my sleep is. I can actually get up in the middle of the night to pee! Its great! too bad I only have about 4 nights left at Good Hope but still...

Lets see what else? This weekend we are going to a Christmas market??? I'm actually really excited to see but a bit skeptical. IT is really strange because I am used to Christmas being cold. It is summertime here so it doesn't feel like the holiday season!

To Be honest I don't really feel like writing so I will continue this later. I'm thinking of all the things I am thankful for and it is really refreshing to think about. There is SO much that I never give enough credit for and spending quiet time just on gratitude feels wonderful.

Sorry about the lame-o blog... hopefully next time it will be better!!!

"I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but i can do somthing.

And, I will not let what I cannot do

interfere with what I can do."

I'm one happy camper

A kitchen party. This is the night before a woman gets married. Apparently they teach the bride how to "go to bed" but I didn't see any of that. It's really strange. The bride NEVER smiled the whole time.

Meet Bakari. We call me Popati which means rough. He's lovable but VERY rough.

Children at Living Water driving in th dala dala.

Grubbin' with my hands. Sexy!

My old host mama.

Living Water Kids again.

I was SO sweaty but this is the handsome Juma.

Juma and Swaifi just being kids :)

The stunning water fall at Kilimanjaro.

You know you are in Africa when you have to push the daladala.

My maasai friends!

The infamous goat that I ate at the wedding!

He's precious.

Ninafuraha.

Good Afternoon America! This week has been pretty casual but still good. I actually only taught one day this week and the rest of the time I was at home helping Saum. I was SUPPOSED to go on my safari but a bunch of BS happened with the company so I never went. SO frustrating. But, I did plan my trip to Zanzibar which is SO exciting! Hopefully I'll come home with a sweet tan!

So this week Bakari (the little one in the close up picture) ripped his pants at school. He forgot to wear underwear and he ran all the way home with his bum hanging out. I didn't see it but heard it was hilarious. These kids are SO dang cute.

Yesterday, I went to the goat market. How I was leered into that I still have no idea...never again! Actually it was good to see once but still, very bizarre. Not to be graphic but the male goat anatomy is a sight I wish I never saw. Saggy water balloons is a perfect visual! Not to mention they way they crap...looks painful. hahaha sorry i know I'm crude by my goodness people! While you are watching, smelling, hearing, and "admiring" the goat, they serve you chunks of goat meat on a platter. After my wedding experience, I am so OVER goat. I was never into but now its really over. Also, when it starts getting dark the mosquitoes come out. And, there is no such thing as electricity at the goat market. Walking blind among god knows what is an adventure in itself. It involved a lot of laughing, tripping, and slight anxiety.

This is my last week at Good Hope. The thought of saying goodbye to these 9 kids kills me. My heart is so attached and its going to hurt :( I go to Living Water for 2 weeks then Zanzibar for my last week. I cannot believe I only have one month left. I have been here for 7 weeks! I can't believe how fast time has gone by!!!

Well, I'm in a rush so I need to go. Enjoy the pics! There are so many better ones but lots of them don't load. These are all old so hopefully soon I can post skydiving and all that jazzy stuff. I hope everyone is enjoying there week! Thinking about Thanksgiving coming up makes me super homesick!!!

Love to you all!

What's going to happen is going to happen.
You can't stop the rain.

i'm addicted to adventure.

Yesterday was one of the most exhilarating, liberating, and adventurous days in my whole life. I have always wanted to go skydiving and I finally did! Check mark on my list of things to do before I die. Let me tell you, everyone should jump!

So, I was pretty freaking nervous starting. Honestly, I was more stoked than scared. I never was actually afraid which shocked me! Mike (the other volunteer) and I went. The bus to Moshi was about 2 hours long... it only created more anticipation! The company picked us up at the bus station and we were off! It was pretty surreal. Since this is something I have always dreamed off, I couldn't believe that sooner than later, the rush of actually completing it was going to happen. It was awesome.

Mike went first. Only one jumper at one time in this dinky little plane. Seriously, it looked like a toy plane. No seats besides the pilot, just enough room to barely squeeze three people in the back. Two staff jump at a time but only one is strapped to you. I watched Mike land and I was soooo excited! I never felt unsafe or unsure. I never once gave it a second thought; I was determined and simply ready! I put on my jump suit which is quite possibly the most unflattering get up I have ever worn! The funniest part was my "i love dad" pajama pants that I had to wear. I did laundry the day before and literally everything was soaked besides my pj's that say I love dad all over them. I had no choice and it was hilarious! Anyhoo, then I wore this funny looking hat. You really do not care; i actually felt pretty diver hip!

Taking off my stomach was in knots. I could not stop smiling! The staff were so cool and made you feel so safe. It took about 20 minutes to reach the jumping point. 10,000 feet in the air. There was a meter thing that measured when to stop. It goes to 10, we were at 1 when I though we should stop. My tandem started laughing at me! The whole 20 minutes I was just in awe. I was never hesitant, just super anxious. The view was stunning. Mt. Kilimanjaro was mostly covered in clouds but it was still spectacular...

My tandem started repeating to me what we had already rehearsed on the ground. I completely blanked and starting getting a little like ah... ok! After a few minutes the door flew open. That was the worst part of the whole dive. You can feel the air and my heart was pounding soooooo fast. The videographer literally climbed underneath the wing of the plane and just hung there. He looked at me and gave me a devious smile. You know he was thinking mu hahahah! My tandem and i scooted to the edge and my legs were just dangling! The ground was just green and brown squares. All my senses were on over load. My whole body was just like ahhhhh!!! Then we jumped!!! Let me tell you...

IT WAS EUPHORIC!

I previously asked my tandem to do some flips and spins so we did! It was incredible. We free falled for about 35 seconds at 120 MPH. INSANE! All you can see in open skies, clouds, blue, green. I felt like Rose in Titanic when she opens her arms on the front of the boat, only better. It went by so fast! He pulled the chute and it was soooo relaxing. My adrenaline was still to the max and I hadn't peed my pants so I was good to go. It was like I was flying. He let me hold the parachute. It was so liberating. I felt like I could do anything and go anywhere! It was far different than anything I have ever experienced. Fear was never involved; only pure satisfaction.

Landing was so easy. The tandem does all the work! I was kinda hoping to have some really intense land but it was so easy! He said put your legs up. Then stand. All the sudden I was back on solid ground. The first thing that I said was "Let's do it again!".

I highly advise anyone and everyone to do this. It has become my new obsession. I talked the staff about how to get trained! Ironically, one of the guys had worked in Vegas... how strange! I am seriously looking into becoming a professional diver; perfect weekend and summer job. I can only do the video though because I am too small to be a tandem. But, they travel all over the world and do this. It would pay for my travel addiction, and I would be paid to jump. I can't think of anything better! It's a far ambition but completely doable. After this trip, I feel like anything is possible...

This leads me to a whole new topic and goals. Before my trip, i was lost. I had no real ambition to do anything and felt like I had no direction. Knowing that, I felt pretty desperate to figure it out. I had high hopes in my self discovery and I am slowing finding answers. I have discovered how important being independent is; knowing that you can accomplish things alone is very motivating. I really want to be a elementary school teacher. I know its alot of work but I believe if you are passionate about children, you can learn to love it and make such a difference. Also, traveling is my number one. And I have learned that you don't have to be rich to travel. I'm a struggling college student but still managed to save for this amazing trip. Who says I can't do it again? By the time I am 30, I want to have my masters and PHD. I know it seems extreme, but I am a changed woman and I KNOW I can do it. I am in no rush. MY career is not my only ambition. I think that society pressures this age group to get an education ASAP and find a job, husband, and start a family. As this is a goal of mine, I am in NO rush. I feel like I am learning so much and I refuse to look back and say I wish I would have enjoyed the opportunity when I had it.

Honestly, I KNOW I will never stop this lifestyle. Even when I do have a family and a career. Knowing that this is my passion, nothing will stop me and I don't think anything should. It is possible to share this with my kids and husband but still have a career and everything that I desire. The only person that used to tell me I couldn't was myself. Now that I have proved myself wrong, I am addicted. I feel alive and I never want that to change. A door has been opened and will never shut. I feel like I understand life so much better; actually, I understand Katie. I don't think I really knew who Katie was and now I do. Now, I know that I want to do and how to do it. SO, traveling and learning is something that I will forever do. I will be the family that works hard but plays hard. I've learned how important that is and can't wait to share this with someone else.

I want to share it with everyone. I know everyone doesn't have the same ambitions and goals as me, but I think many people are driven by fear. Fear of failure; I know I was and I still do but I'm allowing myself to face them and it is liberating. I can't describe the satisfaction I have received by just letting myself live. Its hard to believe that I was unhappy...

I hope all these blogs don't come across like I am some saint or some philosophical, dreamer like achiever. I don't write these to hear others compliment it; I write these because my heart tells me too. (sounds cheesy but true! ) I can't express the passion I have gained; more than that I can't express the strong desire that I want others to feel this way too. I want nothing more than to hear someone else say these same words. I truly am humbled and feel very blessed. Finally, regarding my ambitions, I don't care about what anyone thinks; I only pray that others can reach that same point. Life is way too short to not live it.

Dance while you can.

yUo R my hApiNes.

Not to much to share but I am uploading pictures and a video. Lets pray that it works!!! This week has been pretty busy but I am still sick. I have pink eye and diarrhea! Ewwwww i know. It sucks soooo bad. I went to the doctor today and got some meds so hopefully all will be good soon. VERY SOON. ha. I actually wrote a really stupid poem but i left it at home so I can't post it yet. To be continued regarding the diarrhea!

So, this weekend I am going skydiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! I am so excited but terrified. We were supposed to go tomorrow but because of my lousy condition, we are stalling the extravaganza. The jump is over Mt. Kilimanjaro. For those that don't know about it google it. It is a place that people travel from all over the world just to climb. Since I am not brave enough to climb it, i figured I would jump out of a plane over instead. Pray for me!! I can't wait!

Next Friday is my safari. Lots of exciting things are happening! This trip is amazing because I get to love on kids, but also explore Africa. I really feel like i live here. Although I miss certain things, I think I could actually call this place home. Not likely but at least I'm comfortable :)

I'm trying to load more pictures but this is Africa and everything is v e r y s l o w. Hopefully the video plays. The adorable little creature is Saidi. He's the most lovable child on earth. I really wish I could take him home with me. It is so close up because he was sitting on my lap... I also couldn't edit it so its sideways! Sorry!

Recently, I was asked what the best gift is that I have ever recieved. It took me days to come up with an answer. As the holiday season is coming up, I found it fitting to dicuss it. Not what my best gift was, but the importance of meaningful possessions. Not once did I consider anything that cost a large amount of money. Not clothes, i-pod, or material items. I had never really put a lot of thought into it but I was really refreshing; very humbling. Again, it made me realize things that are really important in life. Like this person did for me, I challenge all of you reading this to analyze your favorite gift. The one that made a bad day turn good, a dry season flourish with rain. As Christmas rolls around encourage one another with gifts that will last longer than the new fashion trend; eternal gifts that make a life long impression.

I can't wait to tell you about the skydiving. Hope all is well. i miss YOU.

"If you don't live for now, then now you are not living."

People often wait to do things they really want to do, say things they meant to say, and search for a better opportunity. Start now; do not wait. Its like Home Alone (Ithink?). He had new skates and didn't want to wear them and ruin them. By the time he wanted to, they no longer fit. Don't wait, otherwise, the skate may never fit.

<3

nakupenda <3

First off... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE AND JILLY! I miss you girls and wish I could celebrate with you!!!!!!!

I wasn't prepared to write a blog today but I have some extra time so I figured I might jot a few thoughts down. Life is going pretty well this week. I was sick.. again which really, really sucks. I am feeling better as of right now so lets hope it lasts! I have also been really really busy. We changed the schedule at the orphanage so i have been teaching every other day. On the off days, we help around the house. WE cook, scrub, dust, hand wash laundry, EVERYTHING. I am drained! I have learned to cook some African food; unfortunately, it doesn't taste very good so its not much to be proud of. Anyone interested in eating with their hands and not enjoying the food.. I'd be happy to cook for you!

I'm having serious brain farts. I can't think of things to say!

I did have lots of quiet time this week which was very pleasant. It has been a LONG time that I have actually been alone. We have a male volunteer that sleeps in the outside room. There is lots of space in there so when he is out, I take advantage of the other room. I never realized how important it was to have alone time. True peace and quiet. The room is very dirty, old, and kind of cell like haha but, ironically it has been the most peaceful place of all.

I forgot to mention that I carried cow poop in a bag on my head. I was hands and feet covered in cow poop. YUMMY! ha. Living Water orphanage has a vegetable garden and we were helping fertilize or something. Somehow I got pulled into helping and well.. it was a sick yet delightful adventure! Next time, I get the honor of milking the cows.. can't wait! hahaha. I have never seen kids so happy to play with poop. It was very ironic because it was right around Halloween in the states. Kids there are receiving candy, and kids here are shoveling fly infested feces. They were overjoyed though. They had so much fun and were laughing while literally crumbling up poop chunks and tossing it where ever necessary. It was a very humbling moment. As much as I missed Halloween, it made me really realize things that REALLY matter in life.

oh! And I had my first hot shower! it was the best thing in the universe. It was a tease though because who knows when i will get the next one!

Life is good..that's for sure. I feel sooo blessed to be alive, happy, and simply just figuring it out. I heard some devastating news that left me trembling. Rest in peace to all the victims of the recent shooting in Reno. Words cannot even express how much my heart aches for the witnesses, family, friends, EVERYONE. I hate violence and I really just don't understand it. I must admit i have been dealing with some survivors guilt since I have heard the news. I am very blessed and cannot express the sympathy I have for everyone involved. Life is just too short for tragic things like this...

Well, I hope all is well with everyone and anyone reading this. I am so used to this lifestyle that I almost forget what life at home is like. I miss you all. I hope you are finding joy in the simple things in life. Take a deep breath and realize how special YOU are.

God Bless your life today.

"It is OK to question yourself. In fact, are you living the life that you want to live???"

Do not fear yourself.

<3 kates

Good morning to all.

It has been a lonely Sunday morning. I can't really explain it nor do I have a real reason but I have just been emotional. I've been having the "holy crap I'm in Africa", but also the wow its been an interesting couple of years.

I do admit that usually I push to stay strong, brave, and optimistic, but today, I just want to be gloomy. My whole life I've been worried about what people think; I have always hated it. I'm not quite sure it will ever become non existent but I do push myself to improve. Even beginning to write this I questioned how much I want to share; fear I guess of allowing anyone and everyone know my personal emotional stability. However, on this Sunday morning in Tanzania, I am finding it quite liberating to let loose.

It sounds as if I have some dark secret desperate to let out...but i don't. I just feel lonely, homesick, and well sad. I assume its normal considering I am across the world but still, it is never very comforting. On the other hand, I am actually quite glad that I am a little upset. I was beginning to think I was too hopeful and not allowing anything to phase me. Breaking down from time to time is only expected and in fact felt pretty good.

I think I'm feeling a mixture of many emotions. These past two years have been very complex, and rather "unexpected". Since my freshman year of high school I have dramatically changed. I have formed strong walls against protecting myself; Walls that I thought were concrete, collapsed reasonably fast. It has been a whirlwind of adventures, some great, and some very painful physically and emotionally. I think that many people's lives feel as if everything hits at once and getting back on your feel is always a slow process. The process forms many positive changes and adaptations if one allows it but it is a good thing. This isn't a writing of "what a terrible two years my life sucks", its simply a "wow". I have come along way and have hopes in continuing that.

There has been moments in the past couple of years that I have been hurting and fail to recognize it myself. Fear was the only enemy. Now, when I am feeling upset, I am allowing myself to be upset. I think that it comes along with the healing and, now, I am able to see that, deal with it, and remember that tomorrow will be a much better day. In the grand scheme of things not dealing with emotions is not the way to go. That only builds a bridge set for disaster, anxious to blame anyone else but yourself.

I think I am just taking a deep breath and processing what has gone on. I woke up this morning thinking holy crap, I once had a bullet in my face! Then, holy crap, now I'm in Africa.. alone! Both occurrences that I didn't see coming but ironically pleased that both did. They both have, and continue to, change my life. Yes, today is a not-so-thankful kind of day but all in all, I'm just accepting the things I cannot change.

I like to assume that all this is part of grief. Although it has been a year and a half, there are days it feels like yesterday. Today is one of those days. Now, I rarely find myself talking about the shooting in a negative way. I actually contemplated even bringing it up publicly but it's what I'm thinking and I can't pretend otherwise. I still get mad, and just don't understand many things. I can't change the past but sometimes I just wish I could re-play it and seek answers that I will never find. These days I usually don't allow myself to waste energy on the situation but, I think it really is healthy sometimes. It was a HUGE part of my life and it still is. No matter what hemisphere I am located on, my life is still my life. I still have my life at home, and I still have the realization of "I am, who I am"...no matter where I reside.

This is by no means a sympathy plea; I'm just expressing how I feel. I want people to see and learn all sides of me. I'm katie rae; I'm human. I think conversing through a computer screen with no immediate reaction makes this far easier, especially since I am across the world. Nonetheless, I am happy I did so and most likely this won't be the last. This is only my story, no different than anyone else. Each individual has past scars and I encourage YOU to just let loose from time to time.

I am thinking of many people and appreciate the continued support. I officially hate Global Crossroads and highly encourage no one to volunteer through them. If you are interested in volunteering ask me MANY questions. I am working to move to Living Water Orphanage. I visited them this weekend and was extremely pleased with my experience. There website is www.livingwaterchildren.org if anyone is interested. It truly is an amazing organization run by a very inspiring family. I will be very honored to join them and learn all that I can about humility, compassion, and selflessness.

I anticipate all is well at home. Miss you. Love you.

Ahsante Sana.

kates

"You may go days without thinking of God, but there's never a moment he's not thinking of you."

These are some of my little wototos!

Juma. SO handsome and beyond sensitive. He's going to be a total ladies man!



I am so annoyed!!! The other pictures won't upload. I will try again soon. I miss everyone!! I can't remember if I mentioned it but I ate liver. SICK. Today I am going to another orphanage and staying the night!





sadiki na amani.

got goat?

This is gonna be quick and probably quite rubbish but I had a wonderful weekend!

We were invited to a wedding on Saturday...it was a christian wedding not Muslim like we thought! First we arrive and the bride and groom were on a massive tractor! That is what they show up in for the wedding. Then, we walk in and again are the only white people. They seated us front row RIGHT next to the family! We really couldn't understand what was being said but we suddenly realized it when we were announced one by one as special guests!! It was so funny but so embarrassing! They were all cheering and we didn't even know how to act! It was quite an honor though. I actually started getting teary eyed after a while because they were so welcoming even though they had no idea who we were. Since we were special guests, we received all the "special" ceremonious things that come along with the occasion. This was a Chagga Tribe wedding; they serve a a VERY dead goat, head fully intact, hooves tied together, charred hair, and parsley swaying in the burnt teeth. I hope you get the drift! The creature was on a silver platter and the chef came dancing in as it entered the building. Well, the VIP people (bride, groom, family....US) receive the honor of eating the goat in front of everyone one by one. As they called our names and shined the bright light on us we had to pay our respects and choke down this "meat". Again, I could not stop laughing. As the groom fed me, a piece flapped on my face before entering my mouth! It was as if I was chewing 13 pieces of Bazooka bubble gum! The taste was a mixture of the smell of horse and an ace bandage. Ha... it was quite a delicacy. It really was an experience that I will never forget. when I can upload pictures you can laugh with me!!

The rest of the wedding really was an honor. I don't think I will ever get that experience again and I VERY thankful for participating in an real African wedding.

Yesterday, I went on a walking safari in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I am so sore today! Let me tell you, if you ever come to Africa you must do this. We we hiked to this gorgeous waterfall, ate lunch underneath it, walked across it, and explored! It was soooooo beautiful! It was so nice to be out of the city. It was so peaceful out there. We were surrounded by banana trees and coffee. We ate wild strawberries AND visited a real Chagga house. Then we tasted banana beer...it was so n-a-s-t-y. I added climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro on my list of things to do before I die. I hear it is miserable but worth it when it's over... exciting! Yesterday was very adventurous and I felt so alive! I can't think of any other way I would have wanted to spend my day. When I was underneath the waterfall I was soo grateful to be there at that exact moment. It felt as if nothing else was going on; a moment of complete bliss.

The longer and longer I am here the happier I am that I came alone. Although I miss many people I am learning so much about myself that I don't feel i would have been able to do if I was with close friends or family. It is the very vulnerable moments that I do the most growing. I am healing and actually allowing myself to be moved. Everything happens for a reason and I have great confidence that I am in the perfect place, at the perfect time. I have challenged myself and encourage everyone to do the same. No need to go as extreme but the small things add up to create very positive movement. I am afraid; feeling the fear and doing it anyway is a very powerful feeling. I am thankful I have learned this at such a young age however, I push people of all ages to create obstacles with intention. And, do it solo.

Anyway, this week is pretty normal. Teaching, playing, loving. We are going to a "kitchen party". I guess it is the night before the wedding when the bride is sent off. I am very anxious to check it out! Also, I am braiding my whole head. HAHA... should be very interesting and s-e-x-y. haha NOT.

hopealliswellaroundtheworld.love.

k a t i e

happy birthday sarah!!!!

first off! Sarah is 21...YAY!!! i miss you best friend and I wish I could be there to celebrate!!!!

This week has been VERY long but very successful! There is so much to say so it will be choppy...

Sunday was the creepiest, strangest, most uncomfortable setting I have EVER been in! Look up GeorDavie Ministries. This guy is insane. We went with our host family. Didnt' want to be rude, so we joined them for "church". Holy crap this was not church. We were the only white people among eh.... 2000 black people. Slightly intimidating to say the least. So.. they all start hissing and praying this weird prayer. It was so loud the ground was shaking. Then GeorDavie came out and starting saying he was there to take the devil out of the possessed. It was 4 1/2 hours long!!!!!! I couldn't eveb believe what I was seeibng. They started fainted and literally SCREAMING at the top of their lungs. It was so bizarre. Then he said you were blessed if you gave money so all theses poor people were giving money to this creep. It was terrible and I couldn't wait to leave. oh! then they came to take a picture of marianne and I... we said no but were afraid of being possessed! ha.. it was complete nonscene.

So then came monday and i made it to the orphanage. I finally felt like i could call this place home. I met the children and the other volunteers. The children are the most special and the most adoreable creatures on earth; clearly God's gift to me. So here's the scoop! I live with 9 children all ages 4-7. Seven boys, two girls. Just how i like it haha! It is SUCH an experience living with them. They are one big family.. it really is amazing. They go to GoodHope school where there are 32 children. During the day we help teach them basic English, math, and the older kids science. Then we eat lunch, recess, and more teaching. I have had no teaching experience so... man it is tiring! It is hard, but well worth every minute. Then, we go back to the orphanage (its about a 2 min. walk) and the kids sleep for about 2 hours. When they wake up, we color, play football, watch movies, make puzzles, i dunno.. kid stuff. Then they eat at about 7:30 and go straight to bed. My favorite part of the day is tucking them in at night. They brust their teeth, and yell teeeechaaaa!!! They call everyone teacher. We read them a story before bed and they love it. They climb in your lap, play with your hair, hold your hold, and simply just love you. Then they reach out and give you a big hug and kiss.. it is the sweetest.

Kids are kids no matter what language, country, or planet. They just want to be loved and have SO much love to give. They are so innocent and have SO little but jsut love life. It is extremely humbling. I finally feel like I am here for a reason. I was so confused and frustrated before but now I know I am here for a purpose.

Although I love what I am doing, I have had a few challenges so far. I had 70 dollars stolen from me at my host family. SO ANNOYING. I locked it all up but somehow it still turned up missing. And, I got very sick this week. I had to go to the hospital to check for malaria because I had all the same symptoms. Luckily, it was just a very bad flu! Still, it sucked and I was in bed for two days straight. However, I read a WHOLE novel so it made the time go by relatively fast. I am recovering well; the kids make it so much easier to feel better!

The food at the orphanage sucks!!!!!!!!!! I eat one slice of bread in the morning, tea, rice and some mushy sauce, bread and tea, then rice and some mushy sauce. EVERY DAY it is the same. Good for losing weight but man im starving! Right now I am at McMoody's. BEST place ever in Arusha. I actually ate a cheeseburger..... yum yum!

I feel like i had so much to say coming here to write but I left my notepad at home so I am forgetting everything....

I am actually starting to feel like i live here. I NEVER thought I would say that. The things that were so shocking don't really phase me anymore. I never thought I would be comfortable but I really am. Thank heavens! The children make my life so much happier. Even though I miss home and have times when I am super homesick, I think about leaving the kids and it kills me. Saying goodbye is going to be the hardest ever.

Today while I was riding the Daladala to town, we almost fell in a ditch! it was way scary and I was at the window... it's funny now but at the time i almost peed myself!

MY favorite kid is saidi. He's the youngest and sooooo cute. They all dance and dammmmnnnnn babies got back! hahah no seriously, these kids booty shake and they are like 4 years old!!!! It is the funniest thing. I have it on video but it is not uploading!!! ugh! Hopefully soon i can get it to work.

Also this week I washed my clothes... by hand. I will forever respect any mom that handwashes clothing. It was so tiring and took forever. God Bless electronics!!!!

I'm completely blabbing and not making any sense. Tonight I am going to a Muslim Wedding... hmmmmm should be interesting??? Tom. I am going on a walking safari to Mt. Kilimanjaro... can't wait! I am going with my Dar volunteers so I am excited to see them again.

Just a shout out to my Big, little, and new Grandlittle! I miss you and I am so happy to be a grandma! yay!


Well I miss home and everyone at home... Have a wonderful week and remember that you don't have to be in a different country to make a difference in someones life!

"A little rain can make a flower stem grow. A little love can change a life."

<3

you know you are in Africa when...

Good morning all...

Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me. Before I came on this trip there were two things that I tried to prepare myself for.
1. I knew I couldn't help everyone
2. This trip would be very challenging; not so much fun, but in the end it would be extremely fulfilling

Well, both of those became reality.

My host baba (dad) works at the head office for the Lutheran Church in Tanzania. He hooked us up with some doctors just to chat. It was VERY nice of him and great to see some better organization skills being practiced compared to what I have been experiencing. It was a selfish moment that I regret now. I was annoyed at seeing programs well organized while i was trying to help WOFATA which is completely unstable and clearly needs tremendous work. After the meeting with the doctor we traveled on the DalaDala which is when I almost snapped. I have 3 bug bites on my face, 2 on my neck, and like 4 on my legs. I was hot, hungry, and completely confused as to where I was traveling. I was squashed by an over sized woman and child and could not even see past the 3 inches in front of me. We were in one of the worst areas and I was just pissed and didn't' really understand why. Oh not to mention when I got out of the bus there was a lady literally beating a donkey; I felt like i was in a nightmare and would never wake up!

My frustration suddenly vanished; instead I completely heartbroken and overwhelmed to say the least. The images were just like on the TV ads that show the worst of the worst. All the
"homes" were made off dried cow poop and bamboo sticks. The rooftops were caving in and the small children barely had any smiles nor shoes. Everyone was staring; i don't think I will ever adjust to that. Then I met Tereza. She is a middle-aged, HIV positive woman struggling just to survive. She welcomed us into her home. I knew I would be making home visits but I never knew the feelings that would come along with it. It was so depressing and i felt SO helpless. We starting talking with her and she starting crying. The society is so corrupt here especially when it comes to women. The men dominate and have little to no respect for women. You can tell this lady is lost in her own misery. We left her with smiles and it made me feel like I was making a slight difference but not much. Then we met Kea. He is 72 and is Masaai. In that tribe they practice polygamy. He had 4 wives and the last one tested positive. His 6 year old son is now positive and is receiving no treatment. The little boy came up and sat next to me and shook my hand. What a gentleman! It killed me though. We did the same there and told them we would check in with them next week.

As i left I was so overwhelmed. I held it together during the visits but I cant explain it... I was just sad. I know we are helping them but actually changing the lifestyle here takes years. Knowing that these people will still go on living like that no matter what you do is difficult to swallow. Its like once you see this, you feel so responsible to do something about it. That is when i needed to remind myself of my preparations before i arrived. Thinking and feeling are two complete opposites. I know I can only do so much...

I think the next time I am in that situation I will be much more prepared. Every day here is a new culture shock because you see something shocking each and every step. It is complex environment and nothing comes to surprise.

I must say that through all the challenges change is happening. Maybe more in myself than the African people but regardless, transformations are occurring. After yesterday I was emotionally just drained. Like I said in the last blog it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Expressing and venting makes me feel so much better...

Enough of that depressing stuff! Marianne and I have found some humor in the African lifestyle. Part of it may be cruel but it really does lighten the mood. Through boredom we put together a list of things. Although it is probably one of those "you just have to be there" still.. try and relate people!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN AFRICA WHEN...

... You pee on your leg and you don't even care.
... The food looks the same going in as it does coming out.
... the bus carries three times the maximum occupancy no matter who, what, where, or when.
... You have memorized the diverse scents of body odor. We have actually discussed our favorites among the many!
... my butt is the smallest in town. I have a big badunkadunk too!
... if you leave the house with out antibacterial gel you might as well prepare your funeral. (so bad i know)
... dogs run wild and goats are on leashes! (you think i am kidding but I am not at all!)

Oh there are so many more. I will slowly display them when I feel it is fitting! I hope you don't think I am just cruel..it is necessary to make light of the culture!

I am going to the orphanage on Monday and only working for WOFATA one or two days next week. I'm not sure i could handle that everyday! Although i have been warned that the orphanage is almost worst. We will have to see!!! I hope everyone is having a blessed day!!

Be thankful in ALL things.

KATIE

I need to V E N T

I knew my trip was going to face some challenges and let me tell you... it has!! Yes, many things have been wonderful but a lot has gone on in the last 48 hours!

Yesterday, I had my first day of work. I was under the impression that we were meeting patients at the hospital and talking with them to get to know their lifestyle. Well, we met HIV positive people but it was in a cafe; completely unorganized. We asked them questions about what life is like, how old they are, blah blah blah. They all answered the same and seemed to not need any help besides financial help. I know I seem very cold hearted right now but if you were there, you would have been beyond annoyed. Honestly, I didn't travel 10000 miles away to have someone tell me the obvious! We are supposed to be working with WOFATA which has been around for 4 years. They seek sick women and try to build their confidence in hopes that the women will eventually become public with their illness. Sounds great right? NOT. I know I sound so harsh but we were basically organizing all this crap to try and get them money. They didn't want our help other than that. It was so frustrating. The pieces just never fit and it really made me start wondering what I got myself into!!! We are willing to help the sick but not supply money and do all this work for them. It is like they just bounce from volunteer to volunteer to pay for their dinner that night. NOT what I signed up for...

So, we left the "meeting" being extremely frustrated. It is difficult when you put so much money, time, and effort into something and it is just not what you expected. Don't get me wrong, it was really interesting to speak to these women but they are healthy and seem to be perfectly well. They are extremely capable and could actually do something for themselves. I wouldn't mind helping them and teaching them how to fund raise or even help them make crafts and stuff but I am not just going to hand over money to buy their carrots that night; that is not fair.

Last night was tough. It was a mixture of being super homesick, tired, hot, and just uneasy. I thought about the situation way to much and just broke down. I wanted to come here to feel like i would make a difference and working with this particular group, i knew i would never accomplish that. There was so much more that just didn't fit.

Sleeping last night was such a blessing. Right after dinner marianne and I went straight to bed. We discussed what needed to happen and what we were going to say. I woke up with knots in my stomach!

Marianne was feeling sick this morning so it gave us an excuse to not go to work and repeat the same thing that happened previously. Instead, we called the head coordinator and called a meeting. I'm not gonna lie, speaking with 4 black men who barely speak English is very intimidating. However, I faced my first real challenge and succeeded! Marianne and i told them everything we were feeling. We told them that things dealing with this project need to change because no other volunteer should be placed here when there is clearly no organization. We approached the situation very professionally and they were more than accommodating! We told them that we want to help these women but not in this manner. I also said that i want to go to the orphanage on Monday and stop doing this project full time. It was actually a really awesome confrontation. Although it was really difficult, they were very appreciative because they want to make there program better. Now, we still get to help these women but only when we have free time. On Monday we are both going to Good Hope Orphanage. I can finally do what I came here to do but at the same time we changed this program to benefit everyone... it really was fascinating!

Something else really cool happened. Our host mom sews. We suggested that she should teach the woman of WOFATA to sew so t hey could meet for support groups while doing an activity. This morning she came home and told us that she talked to her sister and she got a room to host these lessons! That may not seem like a big deal but honestly... that is very hard to do and it was done in like an hour!

24 hours ago I was pissed, upset, and beyond frustrated. Now, I have faced the challenge and it worked out better for everyone. It is ironic how if you are patient but work diligently, things improve. All things really are possible but not if you don't put yourself out there. Together, marianne and I worked, and created movement. In this third world environment, that is hard to do. I am feeling much better and I see the women and culture with a different eye...

Hopefully things continue to get better. I know this was the first real challenge and won't be the last. This is still a learning experience and i pray that I continually grow as an individual as this adventure moves forward...

<3

i have pictures!

A group of men playing Bao in the market... very fun!

Driving home from the beach. I tried to get a good picture of the streets but you can't really see... ill work on that for next time!

Sunrise beach...gorgeous and very posh.

Meet Yoctan! Sweetest person alive. He is our teacher and rafiki. Nice outfit katie! ha.

I was sweating like a mad woman. This lady was nuts!

My bed with my mosquito net! It is sideways but you get the point.

This is Mali.. he is the safari guy.. very helpful!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The insects are just foul.

Me and the girls at the beach!

The food.. this is what I eat just about every meal. That's all. This is a good meal... enough said.

Howdy! I can finally upload some pictures! It is taking forever but I think it might work. I made it to Arusha...finally! ahhhh it was the L O N G E S T bus ride in my entire life. Our last night in the hostel, the staff took us out. Let me tell you it was the best night ever. We went dancing again at the local bar and I finally started getting the hang of it. These people can move their hips soo good its insane. ALL of them. I had an interesting experience with the so called "choo" which means toilet. There is no such thing as flushing toilets when you are in Africa. I'm still struggling with the squatting business and I had a difficult time when we were at dinner. There is bathrooms but they are more like squatting holes with pee all over the floor. It literally smells like ass! haha. Sorry for being vulgar but there is no other word that describes it better. Anyway, so make a long story short i had a skirt on and I dropped my underwear on the floor!!!!! it was the most rancid experience so far and the other girls were laughing at me the whole night. Now, I have forced myself to learn to squat and slowly I am mastering it. Hope this doesn't make anyone uncomfortable...i guarantee I am much more uncomfortable over here! Luckily, that event did not ruin my night. I learned to dance with the crazy drunk lady. You will see the picture of her; that says enough. She was very helpful though. Packing up and leaving the hostel was very sad. It actually felt like my new home and leaving right when you feel comfortable is difficult. I survived though and I am slowing adapting to every new environment.

The country side driving to Arusha was so beautiful. It was much better than Dar! There was trees and flowers and mountains! It was great! I got bored after the first 1500 trees and I was just ready to get to Arusha. Ten hours later we arrived and were greeting by very nice, new coordinators. They drove us to our host family. I am still with Marianne from Denmark...Thank GOODNESS. I can't imagine being alone. The family is very sweet; very shy. This is their first time hosting volunteers so I think all of us are a bit overwhelmed. Marianne and I both are experiencing culture shock all over again. I laugh when I am uncomfortable and I was literally praying the entire dinner to not laugh. Not that anything was funny but man... NO ONE was talking. I couldn't even look at Marianne because I would have lost all control. The food was actually pretty tasty although it was hard to enjoy because I could hear everyone at the table swallow. That's how silent it was. AWKWARD. After dinner we went to bed and I slept like a baby. The weather is soooooo much cooler and there are no mosquito's. Quite a few strange flying insects but I am getting used to them. Marianne and I can't figure out how to flush the toilet. right when we have a flushing toilet we cant even figure out how it works. I'm telling you, each hour here is a new adventure. It has been a lot of laughing, and the new term is "Welp, welcome to Africa!" Nothing comes to surprise here.

This morning was much more comfortable. I woke up to English rap. HAHAHAHAHAHa it was quite hilarious but I actually felt some comfort in it. I was very thankful for that. I showered and my host mama gave me a large bucket of hot water! I haven't felt hot water in over a week. It was such a pleasant treat! I ate some omelet sort of thing for breakfast. Then we walked about 2 miles to the meeting place to start our project. We met our director and he was very welcoming. It was nice! So today, we are resting and starting our project tomorrow. That is why I have time now to write. I get to interview 3 AIDS patients at the hospital tomorrow. I'm so excited but a little nervous.

I have figured out that this is going to a long 10 weeks. I feel like I have so many stories already; i can't imagine after three months. Culture shock is very strange... it gives you a very uneasy feeling and very vulnerable to all emotions. Luckily I have Marianne so we have been able to discuss every emotion. Again, ups and downs but all around a very educational, funny, and perhaps adventurous. I have learned to be more patient but still have a long way to go. The environment is very slow here and not much is organized. But, I still manage to love it.

That is all for now! I'm going to try and upload these pictures and videos. Hope all is well across the world!!!

My new favorite word is Amani. It means peace.. it has been my saving grace!

Kwaheri!