Sunday, September 26, 2010

PS: I love you.

It's early, and I didn't sleep well last night. This is my usual time that I get up, and read a devotional and have some God time. Today, I feel like writing and catching up since I haven't in so long. I'm sorry for those that have been waiting.

Time has been flying so quickly. I've been keeping so busy and honestly been extremely stressed. School is so challenging and exhausting that by the time the end of the school day is over I just want to curl up, eat, and stare at a wall. I don't, but I want to. Lately, I've had so many emotions pour out of me. I think the distance, change, and overwhelming amount of stress has caused me to panic. In what sense? I'm not really sure. I just feel a lot and seem to be angry too easily. I do not like it.

I can't tell you how many times I apologized to Luke this week. Simple things were annoying me, and I was just snappy. Girls, you know that feeling. But it was never anything he deserved. Luckily, he loves me enough to overlook it the second it happens. He looks at me, laughs, and hugs me; behavior that I don't deserve after snapping. Thanks love, for understanding me, and loving me unconditionally.

Yesterday was a great day though. Luke and I have been cooking "surprise dinners" every Sunday. We cook throughout the week together but on Sunday we switch off cooking for each other, and it's a surprise! So he had to go to the store to pick up a few things for dinner because it was his turn. It gave me a great opportunity to go on a run. Man I needed it. There was a lift off my shoulders and I literally asked God to help me from feeling easily angered, stressed, and insecure. I sat on some rocks at the ocean, and felt like I was in the perfect place at the perfect time. I'm in Ireland, with the love of my life, and been taking it for granite ever since school started. It felt good and right to talk to God about it and as I chose to walk home instead of run, I smiled the whole way. I returned home first and when Luke walked in the door later, I just hugged him in the center of our living room. It was the best, safe hug. I finally felt rest and didn't even need to tell him, he already knew.

The day continued and it was joyful. We talked to family on skype, ate our steak dinner that Luke prepared, and watched PS I love you. It was our first movie we have been able to watch since we have been here! We set up a mini movie theater in our living room, ate popcorn, and I cried the entire way through the movie. As a female, it was the cry that had been waiting to come out. Watching the movie in Ireland felt entirely different, much more moving. (or perhaps it was my emotional state, ha). Either way, I bundled my head into his shoulder and just let myself cry. I feel so blessed to be loved by him.

Now, a new work week continues. I've had my healing moment and I hoping it continues throughout the week! We leave on Friday for Munich. Oktoberfest baby!!! We are SOO excited!

So besides my stressed work weeks, the weekends have been fabulous! We gave a toast "To Arthur!" on Arthurs Day (the creator of Guinness. It is a huge event here and we were so lucky to take part in it. The whole Eyre Square was filled with people, live entertainment, and of course, beer. It was delightful :]

Then, the Annual International Oyster Festival was this weekend. Thousands of people from all over the world come here just for the festival. We watched the parade, enjoyed more live music and street entertainers, and went out to some new pubs. It was great and energetic!

Please don't get me wrong, WE ARE LOVING IRELAND. Every morning I wake up and am so thankful for this entire experience. I do not want to distort the thousands of enjoyable moments by recent heavy heart. Thanks readers for allowing me to vent. It's not always easy being honest on here, but it wouldn't be right if I wasn't.

I say this everytime but I will try and update more often. I'm sure after Oktoberfest, I will have SO much more.

OH! We went to one of my students birthday parties on Friday. Here's the video that captured my heart!




Talk soon. Thanks for the patience people!

<3
ms. j

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

September 15, 2010

The story of Doubting Thomas is an analogy to everyone who has struggled with faith in a God they cannot see. We would all like to be able to see Christ in the flesh and to touch his wounds, so that we could be certain of our beliefs.
But our wish is a false one. Appearances can be deceiving; our eyes and ears are not trustworthy. Many an innocent man has gone to prison because an eyewitness was positive they had seen him commit a crime. Magicians make a living by defrauding our eyes and ears.
It is true, in a logical sense, that being able to see a wounded person who says he is Christ would make it more probable that Christ was the son of God, and that he rose from the dead. But we cannot know God by logic. There is nothing in all the facts gathered by mankind, considered by all the great minds that have lived, that can prove or disprove the existence of God or the life and miracle of Jesus Christ. God cannot be known by logic. Probability has no function in the realm of religious belief.
Knowing God and believing in Him is a matter of faith. We know God and grow towards him like a tulip bulb, deep in the earth, grows towards a sun it cannot see or feel, in a kind of faith that the sun will be there to give it life.

www.dailyprayer.us

<3

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Calling all teachers!!!

As you know from the last blog, I started school on Monday. It’s Thursday now and I’m pooped! I have little energy but several people have been asking about my student teaching so I thought I should share! It’s going well so far; it’s very different than what I expected so I’ve been trying to adjust to the chaotic feeling that’s going on inside of me. Everything feels foreign to me, the clothing, teaching styles, the students, the behavior plans, and even the staff members. Not in a bad way, but it will take some adjustments to finally feel settled in. I’m enjoying the change and embracing the challenge.

We all have been in those uncomfortable situations. They suck balls. And, if you’re a teacher or an education student, you know how evil teachers lounges can be. Well, try walking in to a new school Monday morning in a foreign country, wet from the rain, and not a clue what to expect. Luke walked me to school my first day and I felt like I little kid leaving Dad and getting on the bus for the first time. It was scary and I had that knot in my stomach all day. However, I survived and was warmly welcomed by all the staff and students. I have tried to fully immerse myself and put myself out there and it seems to be working so far.

Okay, so here’s the deal. Although I am an Elementary Education major, it doesn’t exactly mean I’m teaching elementary school. Actually I’m teaching ages 12-20, all in which are special needs students. The subjects are math, English, Science, Social studies, and Environmental studies. For non-educators, this is not exactly something I have been fully trained for. They placed me here because the curriculum is at the primary (elementary) level. Since I have never had experience teaching middle school, or special education students, you can see the challenge. However, they make me laugh! Holy smokes, they are hilarious. At first, I was scared and apprehensive and actually quite frustrated because I didn’t think I would benefit as an elementary school teacher in the future. Regardless, teaching is teaching no matter what the students needs are or how old they are. I have already learned so much in 4 days and been pushed in ways I never would in my comfortable third grade class back home. So, I’m so grateful for the challenge and look forward to experiencing tremendous growth as a future educator. Here’s some of my students who bring me smiles every time I walk in the door…


Meet Maeve <3





With that said, I need suggestions and help from all teachers out there. All of my books and resources are back home so I am desperate for things I can’t find on the Internet. I switch classrooms, students, and mentor teachers, almost every hour. And, I start teaching 100% on my own next week with out the teacher even present in the room. Yowza. I’ve been observing this week, and next week, I’m fully responsible. I’m excited and already been planning but it’s difficult with so many subjects. Okay, how can you help? Right now, I’m trying to focus on really get to know the students before I dive into the curriculum. For those of you that have experience working with non-readers, non-writers, Down’s Syndrome, severe behavior problems, psychological disorders, and all types of learning disorders, please feed me suggestions on activities they may like. I have done my research already and had some experience but it never hurts to ask for help. I’m looking for a good warm-up and closing activity to implement everyday that all students can benefit from. You can email me at katiejozsa@gmail.com with any advice. I’m open to it all! Thanks!

It probably sounds like I’m a basket case but I’m actually feeling pretty confident. I learned that its okay to feel insecure and most certainly okay to reach out for help. Like I said, I’m here to learn so I’m willing to take some risks and put myself out there!

Although teaching has consumed my life this week, I still enjoy walking in the door and saying, “Honey, I’m home!” Luke has been a little houseman this week. He’s been doing laundry, cleaning, making me breakfast, and running errands. It won’t last long though because he went to Dublin yesterday for a job seminar and has begun job searching. Soon, we will both be super busy! At night we have been enjoying making dinner together, playing cards, reading, and enjoying the silence. We don’t have a TV so we are relying on alternative methods of entertainment. It’s actually quite nice and peaceful.

This weekend we are attending the annual Oyster Festival held in Galway and visiting the Cliffs of Moher on Sunday. I’m looking forward for two days to recoup after this week. Thanks again and sorry for the lack of enthusiasm, I’m just super tired! I promise, I’m loving this experience and I LOVE my students (most of them, not the bratty pimply ones)!

Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you for those who have been supporting us. I have received numerous emails and facebook messages from people who are following us on this journey. I hope you know how thankful and blessed we feel and appreciate all the kind words and support. I apologize if I haven’t gotten back to you but please know that you are cherished and we sincerely admire your generosity. We need all the prayers and support to really make the most of this. Thanks a million!

Okay, it’s dinna time and I’m hungry!! I’ll try and update after the weekend is over. I know I promised pictures, I’m working on it :]

Bye bye!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Charlie St. Cloud

My Sunday afternoon left my heart satisfied and a large lump in my throat. As Luke sat browsing the web I eagerly flipped the pages of an almost complete book, Charlie St. Cloud. I saw this book at Mccarren Airport getting ready to leave for London. I went to the newsstand to get some water and gummy bears and the dreamy Zac Efron caught my eye as I passed the novels. I realized I forgot some books and wanted to buy one to keep me busy during our travels. Prior to departure day I had seen previews for this book as a motion picture film staring Mr. Efron. I looked for more interesting books but somehow, this book was my final selection. Nearly a month later and pages flipped in each country, the book has come to an end. And I sit here with one butt check asleep, compelled to share.

This movie may be out in the States, I have no idea. Perhaps the movie sucked, but the book was worth reading. It’s a story about life and death, siblings, love, and diving for dreams. Right up my alley right? Being a deep person myself, I love reading books like this; I like thinking of the author and the journey it took to write such drama. The creation of the characters, the setting, the sequence of the beginning, middle, and end and desire to make the novel flow and move the audience. It interests me. This book wasn’t one of those books that EVERYONE must read, but it was easy, took me below the surface, and made me extremely grateful for siblings, falling in love, and living my dreams.

I guess it brings me to think about my own life or death experiences. Although my first breakup felt life or death, February 24th 2006 was quite a bit more agonizing. Several times throughout this book, I felt quite depressed. The author evokes real emotions about handling death, trauma, and grieving. I hate to give away the end for potential Ben Sherwood readers but it left me feeling grateful for my own life or death experience, being shot in the face. I’m thankful for the “second chance” you may call it or the darn right miracle for still existing. Now, I sit cozy on my new couch sipping lemon tea enjoying each inhale and exhale.

It’s pretty crazy how life works out. I always assume I have it figured out just in time to realize I’m still completely clueless. I spend so much time trying to find the answers or solutions when the answer is in the unknown. My life journey has been a continuous surprise and I can only imagine what God has in store for my future…

Even throughout this incredible traveling adventure, my soul clings to the deep stuff. You know, the couple hugging at the ocean, or the girl crying at St. Peters Basilica. I can’t help but wonder and think beyond the surface level stuff. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my deep thinking cap, but then I realized I’d miss so much on what life is offering me. This book, it was a thinker alright, but I appreciated it. I admire the author for his unique talent and his bizarre thoughts; I’m humbled by the thankfulness he created in me this quiet, rainy, Sunday afternoon in Galway.

Whoa, okay. Can you tell my Sunday has been wonderful? It may appear that I’m a bit glum but I’m not. I’m perfectly content and honest. Today has been a great day. We slept in, made breakfast, and went on a run. It was sooo nice to move and feel the fresh salt water air on my skin. As I blasted “Boots with the Fur” and “Sexy Back” I smiled at fellow runners, walkers, and sitters (those on benches, ha). Galway is BEAUTIFUL! I feel so blessed to be here and share this experience with Luke while growing as individuals. After our run we returned to our new home, made lunch, and I started reading. I finished my book and he now he is reading it. I’m excited to talk about it with him and share our personal thoughts on the paperback. I’m enjoying my sweats, tea, and the light rain out my window.

Yesterday was also a relaxing and enjoyable day. We moved into our new place on Friday but we had no food here. A home with no food is no home at all. Let me hear an amen! Ha. So, we walked along the Oceanside to town, only a 20 minute walk or so. We stumbled across a farmers market! Since we were already shopping for fruits and veggies we got them there. It was sooo cool! We still needed some other food items so we made our way to the grocery store, finished our shopping, and began to walk home. The weather was the best. It was bright and sunny but not hot at all. You could tell whole town wanted to be outside; everyone was cheerful. As we were leaving we said, “we are in no rush, let’s grab a Guiness!” And that is just what we did…

After walking back home and unpacking our grocery’s, we made lunch with our fresh produce and then took a walk on the beach. You couldn’t get enough of the sun and ocean, it was so fresh! Our place is literally steps from the water too, so it helps. The sun started to set and it became a bit chilly so we walked back and collected seashells from the sand. We were eager to cook our first meal in our place so we set the tunes, lit the candles, poured the wine, and started cooking. It was a tasty, healthy meal, perfect first feast.

Okay there is our perfect weekend, which is probably making everyone jealous! Sorry, not our intention. We are still feeling like we are dreaming ourselves. Now, I’m going cook meal number 2 and prepare for my first day of school tomorrow! I’ll fill you in regarding my new school, staff, and students. Ahhhh!!

Ps, for those who were wondering, I passed my Praxis 2, YAY!!

Always,

K J







I'd put more up but our internet is so strange here. Facebook has way more photos so tune in there. Thanks!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

the road to Ireland ends

My apologies for the absence, we’ve been extremely occupied with travels, illness, and house hunting. Luckily, the travel is over, the sickness is done, and our search for a lovely abode has come to an end…. Lets see, Paris, Belgium, Amsterdam, and Ireland… so much to update!

Paris

Cliché or not, my time in Paris was enchanting. Of course, I knew that Paris was the city for lovers, but believing in it was a question mark. Prior to arrival I was hopelessly romanticizing that I would have this magical Cinderella experience while I was there, and I did. It was too perfect to share all the juicy details and probably super cheesy (especially to the men reading this!). Regardless, I fell more madly in love those 72 hours.

While in Paris, we went to the Arc de Triumph, Louve, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and the main shopping area that I can’t remember the name of. We probably saw more but I can’t seem to recall. The Eiffel Tower was absolutely stunning. We chose to splurge in Paris and have a date night (I guess every night has been a date night but this had extra spark to it!). After showering, perfume, lipstick, and heels, I was set for my lovely planned evening in Paris. We waited to go up the Eiffel Tower until sundown; best decision we made! We reserved it in advance so we didn’t even have to wait in line, yay! I didn’t even have to hopelessly wish for romance, it was so natural. The scenery was beautiful and not a care in the world was on our mind. We were totally into each other watching the sunset from the summit of the tower. We gazed, kissed, hugged, laughed, smiled, and prayed; it was flawless. Following the tower escapade, we found a nice restaurant to dine at directly under the tower and under the stars. After wine, steak, salad, and fries, I was one grateful stuffed piggy. The tower also has a huge grass area where you can pop champagne and cuddle. So, that’s just what we did...

Paris was all I had ever hoped for!


Brussels, Belgium

If you want to go somewhere to have some freakin’ fun, book a flight to Brussels stat. We got super lucky, our place was right in the center of everything. It was so easy and accessible to everything. The whole Brussels vibe was just…cool. It was a lot of little streets, cool restaurants, nice people, and awesome buildings and architecture. Of course, awesome bars too. We were told by several fellow travelers to go to the Delirium Café; sounded like a stoner pot head pit to me. Well well well I was pleasantly surprised when it was the sweetest bar I’ve ever stepped my little feet into. This place has 2010 beers, yup, you read right! It was three floors, super relaxed vibe, great music, and excellent brews. We met some friends and planned to hang out again. It never worked out but its always fun getting to know new people. We bought some cool souvenirs, walked around the city, enjoyed venturing off with no map, and enjoyed people watching. We found this interesting street where there was a guy playing the saxophone on the street. He was extremely talented so we chose to stop at a café and grab a drink and listen. I wish I had my journal on me because the energy on this random street made my want to write. I remember feeling completely content and outrageously grateful. It was splendid.

Amsterdam

Wow. Amsterdam was nuts. We went to the Red Light District, Anne Frank House, Dam Square, Heineken Brewery, and the main square (It starts with an L but I can’t remember the name). The Red Light District was so strange. I’m happy I went because it was totally out of my element. Luke was laughing at me because he knew I was trying to play it cool but really I was so awkward. It was hard for me to watch; I didn’t want to judge but I did want to pray! I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girls; I can’t even imagine that life. Anyway, I was glad I went and saw it and I’m sure Luke was too ;)

The Anne Frank house was my FAVORITE part about Amsterdam! I was choked up the whole time. I remember reading her story in middle school and feeling so connected to her. As a young girl I was so intrigued by the holocaust, this experience enhanced every feeling I ever had. I was unaware that the museum was the actual house. I told Luke before that it couldn’t be, it didn’t seem possible. I was so wrong. We visited the actual secret annex. I walked through the bookcase that hid the family right into Anne’s actual room that she hid in. I stood there and felt like a piece of you know what for ever complaining about anything. It was humbling and brought tears to my eyes and chills to my spine. Additionally, we were able to see the actual journal of Anne Frank. If you ever visit Amsterdam make sure you make time to see it, you will never regret it.

Amsterdam as a whole was grand! I can’t say that I will run back but I’m very happy we went. I saw loads of interesting people, had fun, and was moved by Anne Frank.


Ireland

Our attempt to get here was similar to our attempt to get to Paris (the bike rack, remember?) but not as bad. We were just exhausted. We left Amsterdam super early in the morning, went back to Brussels, Brussels to London, picked up our luggage that we stored in the beginning, waited for 6 hours, took the night train to the ferry port, and boarded the ferry to get to Ireland at 2 40 am. It was freezing and I was exhausted. And, we had 5 large bags of luggage. It wasn’t fun and this was when I started to feel super ill. We arrived in Dublin that morning at 5 am then had to take a three-hour bus ride to Galway. It was so tiring and I felt like crap. However, we sucked it up and finally made it. Then, I hid for three days in bed due to some virus the doc said. Oh well, I’m better now and so excited to finally be here!!!

After a few disappointments while house hunting, we finally found a place. After the first day, we were completely discouraged. We prayed a lot and literally felt like it was in Gods control. Right when we finally surrendered our anxiety and ate lunch by the sea, everything fell into place. Our new place is steps from the ocean and its beautiful. Its 200 times nicer than anything we ever thought we would take! Tomorrow, we are going to watch a big futbol game at one of the pubs and drink some delicious Guinness. I saw my school today, and I’m super excited and nervous at the same time! I also met with Amy (the other student teacher here) today and it was so nice to spend time with her. I start working on Monday and I’m hoping the butterflies calm down a bit. For now, we are ready to settle, cook some dinner, and find some time to relax and reflect on everything that has occurred so far. It has all happened so quickly and I’m looking forward to the slower, Irish lifestyle. We should have internet at our place early next week so hopefully the blogs can be more frequent….

Thanks for tuning in :]

kates

ps: pictures to come next!!!