Good morning to all.

It has been a lonely Sunday morning. I can't really explain it nor do I have a real reason but I have just been emotional. I've been having the "holy crap I'm in Africa", but also the wow its been an interesting couple of years.

I do admit that usually I push to stay strong, brave, and optimistic, but today, I just want to be gloomy. My whole life I've been worried about what people think; I have always hated it. I'm not quite sure it will ever become non existent but I do push myself to improve. Even beginning to write this I questioned how much I want to share; fear I guess of allowing anyone and everyone know my personal emotional stability. However, on this Sunday morning in Tanzania, I am finding it quite liberating to let loose.

It sounds as if I have some dark secret desperate to let out...but i don't. I just feel lonely, homesick, and well sad. I assume its normal considering I am across the world but still, it is never very comforting. On the other hand, I am actually quite glad that I am a little upset. I was beginning to think I was too hopeful and not allowing anything to phase me. Breaking down from time to time is only expected and in fact felt pretty good.

I think I'm feeling a mixture of many emotions. These past two years have been very complex, and rather "unexpected". Since my freshman year of high school I have dramatically changed. I have formed strong walls against protecting myself; Walls that I thought were concrete, collapsed reasonably fast. It has been a whirlwind of adventures, some great, and some very painful physically and emotionally. I think that many people's lives feel as if everything hits at once and getting back on your feel is always a slow process. The process forms many positive changes and adaptations if one allows it but it is a good thing. This isn't a writing of "what a terrible two years my life sucks", its simply a "wow". I have come along way and have hopes in continuing that.

There has been moments in the past couple of years that I have been hurting and fail to recognize it myself. Fear was the only enemy. Now, when I am feeling upset, I am allowing myself to be upset. I think that it comes along with the healing and, now, I am able to see that, deal with it, and remember that tomorrow will be a much better day. In the grand scheme of things not dealing with emotions is not the way to go. That only builds a bridge set for disaster, anxious to blame anyone else but yourself.

I think I am just taking a deep breath and processing what has gone on. I woke up this morning thinking holy crap, I once had a bullet in my face! Then, holy crap, now I'm in Africa.. alone! Both occurrences that I didn't see coming but ironically pleased that both did. They both have, and continue to, change my life. Yes, today is a not-so-thankful kind of day but all in all, I'm just accepting the things I cannot change.

I like to assume that all this is part of grief. Although it has been a year and a half, there are days it feels like yesterday. Today is one of those days. Now, I rarely find myself talking about the shooting in a negative way. I actually contemplated even bringing it up publicly but it's what I'm thinking and I can't pretend otherwise. I still get mad, and just don't understand many things. I can't change the past but sometimes I just wish I could re-play it and seek answers that I will never find. These days I usually don't allow myself to waste energy on the situation but, I think it really is healthy sometimes. It was a HUGE part of my life and it still is. No matter what hemisphere I am located on, my life is still my life. I still have my life at home, and I still have the realization of "I am, who I am"...no matter where I reside.

This is by no means a sympathy plea; I'm just expressing how I feel. I want people to see and learn all sides of me. I'm katie rae; I'm human. I think conversing through a computer screen with no immediate reaction makes this far easier, especially since I am across the world. Nonetheless, I am happy I did so and most likely this won't be the last. This is only my story, no different than anyone else. Each individual has past scars and I encourage YOU to just let loose from time to time.

I am thinking of many people and appreciate the continued support. I officially hate Global Crossroads and highly encourage no one to volunteer through them. If you are interested in volunteering ask me MANY questions. I am working to move to Living Water Orphanage. I visited them this weekend and was extremely pleased with my experience. There website is www.livingwaterchildren.org if anyone is interested. It truly is an amazing organization run by a very inspiring family. I will be very honored to join them and learn all that I can about humility, compassion, and selflessness.

I anticipate all is well at home. Miss you. Love you.

Ahsante Sana.

kates

"You may go days without thinking of God, but there's never a moment he's not thinking of you."

These are some of my little wototos!

Juma. SO handsome and beyond sensitive. He's going to be a total ladies man!



I am so annoyed!!! The other pictures won't upload. I will try again soon. I miss everyone!! I can't remember if I mentioned it but I ate liver. SICK. Today I am going to another orphanage and staying the night!





sadiki na amani.

got goat?

This is gonna be quick and probably quite rubbish but I had a wonderful weekend!

We were invited to a wedding on Saturday...it was a christian wedding not Muslim like we thought! First we arrive and the bride and groom were on a massive tractor! That is what they show up in for the wedding. Then, we walk in and again are the only white people. They seated us front row RIGHT next to the family! We really couldn't understand what was being said but we suddenly realized it when we were announced one by one as special guests!! It was so funny but so embarrassing! They were all cheering and we didn't even know how to act! It was quite an honor though. I actually started getting teary eyed after a while because they were so welcoming even though they had no idea who we were. Since we were special guests, we received all the "special" ceremonious things that come along with the occasion. This was a Chagga Tribe wedding; they serve a a VERY dead goat, head fully intact, hooves tied together, charred hair, and parsley swaying in the burnt teeth. I hope you get the drift! The creature was on a silver platter and the chef came dancing in as it entered the building. Well, the VIP people (bride, groom, family....US) receive the honor of eating the goat in front of everyone one by one. As they called our names and shined the bright light on us we had to pay our respects and choke down this "meat". Again, I could not stop laughing. As the groom fed me, a piece flapped on my face before entering my mouth! It was as if I was chewing 13 pieces of Bazooka bubble gum! The taste was a mixture of the smell of horse and an ace bandage. Ha... it was quite a delicacy. It really was an experience that I will never forget. when I can upload pictures you can laugh with me!!

The rest of the wedding really was an honor. I don't think I will ever get that experience again and I VERY thankful for participating in an real African wedding.

Yesterday, I went on a walking safari in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I am so sore today! Let me tell you, if you ever come to Africa you must do this. We we hiked to this gorgeous waterfall, ate lunch underneath it, walked across it, and explored! It was soooooo beautiful! It was so nice to be out of the city. It was so peaceful out there. We were surrounded by banana trees and coffee. We ate wild strawberries AND visited a real Chagga house. Then we tasted banana beer...it was so n-a-s-t-y. I added climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro on my list of things to do before I die. I hear it is miserable but worth it when it's over... exciting! Yesterday was very adventurous and I felt so alive! I can't think of any other way I would have wanted to spend my day. When I was underneath the waterfall I was soo grateful to be there at that exact moment. It felt as if nothing else was going on; a moment of complete bliss.

The longer and longer I am here the happier I am that I came alone. Although I miss many people I am learning so much about myself that I don't feel i would have been able to do if I was with close friends or family. It is the very vulnerable moments that I do the most growing. I am healing and actually allowing myself to be moved. Everything happens for a reason and I have great confidence that I am in the perfect place, at the perfect time. I have challenged myself and encourage everyone to do the same. No need to go as extreme but the small things add up to create very positive movement. I am afraid; feeling the fear and doing it anyway is a very powerful feeling. I am thankful I have learned this at such a young age however, I push people of all ages to create obstacles with intention. And, do it solo.

Anyway, this week is pretty normal. Teaching, playing, loving. We are going to a "kitchen party". I guess it is the night before the wedding when the bride is sent off. I am very anxious to check it out! Also, I am braiding my whole head. HAHA... should be very interesting and s-e-x-y. haha NOT.

hopealliswellaroundtheworld.love.

k a t i e

happy birthday sarah!!!!

first off! Sarah is 21...YAY!!! i miss you best friend and I wish I could be there to celebrate!!!!

This week has been VERY long but very successful! There is so much to say so it will be choppy...

Sunday was the creepiest, strangest, most uncomfortable setting I have EVER been in! Look up GeorDavie Ministries. This guy is insane. We went with our host family. Didnt' want to be rude, so we joined them for "church". Holy crap this was not church. We were the only white people among eh.... 2000 black people. Slightly intimidating to say the least. So.. they all start hissing and praying this weird prayer. It was so loud the ground was shaking. Then GeorDavie came out and starting saying he was there to take the devil out of the possessed. It was 4 1/2 hours long!!!!!! I couldn't eveb believe what I was seeibng. They started fainted and literally SCREAMING at the top of their lungs. It was so bizarre. Then he said you were blessed if you gave money so all theses poor people were giving money to this creep. It was terrible and I couldn't wait to leave. oh! then they came to take a picture of marianne and I... we said no but were afraid of being possessed! ha.. it was complete nonscene.

So then came monday and i made it to the orphanage. I finally felt like i could call this place home. I met the children and the other volunteers. The children are the most special and the most adoreable creatures on earth; clearly God's gift to me. So here's the scoop! I live with 9 children all ages 4-7. Seven boys, two girls. Just how i like it haha! It is SUCH an experience living with them. They are one big family.. it really is amazing. They go to GoodHope school where there are 32 children. During the day we help teach them basic English, math, and the older kids science. Then we eat lunch, recess, and more teaching. I have had no teaching experience so... man it is tiring! It is hard, but well worth every minute. Then, we go back to the orphanage (its about a 2 min. walk) and the kids sleep for about 2 hours. When they wake up, we color, play football, watch movies, make puzzles, i dunno.. kid stuff. Then they eat at about 7:30 and go straight to bed. My favorite part of the day is tucking them in at night. They brust their teeth, and yell teeeechaaaa!!! They call everyone teacher. We read them a story before bed and they love it. They climb in your lap, play with your hair, hold your hold, and simply just love you. Then they reach out and give you a big hug and kiss.. it is the sweetest.

Kids are kids no matter what language, country, or planet. They just want to be loved and have SO much love to give. They are so innocent and have SO little but jsut love life. It is extremely humbling. I finally feel like I am here for a reason. I was so confused and frustrated before but now I know I am here for a purpose.

Although I love what I am doing, I have had a few challenges so far. I had 70 dollars stolen from me at my host family. SO ANNOYING. I locked it all up but somehow it still turned up missing. And, I got very sick this week. I had to go to the hospital to check for malaria because I had all the same symptoms. Luckily, it was just a very bad flu! Still, it sucked and I was in bed for two days straight. However, I read a WHOLE novel so it made the time go by relatively fast. I am recovering well; the kids make it so much easier to feel better!

The food at the orphanage sucks!!!!!!!!!! I eat one slice of bread in the morning, tea, rice and some mushy sauce, bread and tea, then rice and some mushy sauce. EVERY DAY it is the same. Good for losing weight but man im starving! Right now I am at McMoody's. BEST place ever in Arusha. I actually ate a cheeseburger..... yum yum!

I feel like i had so much to say coming here to write but I left my notepad at home so I am forgetting everything....

I am actually starting to feel like i live here. I NEVER thought I would say that. The things that were so shocking don't really phase me anymore. I never thought I would be comfortable but I really am. Thank heavens! The children make my life so much happier. Even though I miss home and have times when I am super homesick, I think about leaving the kids and it kills me. Saying goodbye is going to be the hardest ever.

Today while I was riding the Daladala to town, we almost fell in a ditch! it was way scary and I was at the window... it's funny now but at the time i almost peed myself!

MY favorite kid is saidi. He's the youngest and sooooo cute. They all dance and dammmmnnnnn babies got back! hahah no seriously, these kids booty shake and they are like 4 years old!!!! It is the funniest thing. I have it on video but it is not uploading!!! ugh! Hopefully soon i can get it to work.

Also this week I washed my clothes... by hand. I will forever respect any mom that handwashes clothing. It was so tiring and took forever. God Bless electronics!!!!

I'm completely blabbing and not making any sense. Tonight I am going to a Muslim Wedding... hmmmmm should be interesting??? Tom. I am going on a walking safari to Mt. Kilimanjaro... can't wait! I am going with my Dar volunteers so I am excited to see them again.

Just a shout out to my Big, little, and new Grandlittle! I miss you and I am so happy to be a grandma! yay!


Well I miss home and everyone at home... Have a wonderful week and remember that you don't have to be in a different country to make a difference in someones life!

"A little rain can make a flower stem grow. A little love can change a life."

<3

you know you are in Africa when...

Good morning all...

Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me. Before I came on this trip there were two things that I tried to prepare myself for.
1. I knew I couldn't help everyone
2. This trip would be very challenging; not so much fun, but in the end it would be extremely fulfilling

Well, both of those became reality.

My host baba (dad) works at the head office for the Lutheran Church in Tanzania. He hooked us up with some doctors just to chat. It was VERY nice of him and great to see some better organization skills being practiced compared to what I have been experiencing. It was a selfish moment that I regret now. I was annoyed at seeing programs well organized while i was trying to help WOFATA which is completely unstable and clearly needs tremendous work. After the meeting with the doctor we traveled on the DalaDala which is when I almost snapped. I have 3 bug bites on my face, 2 on my neck, and like 4 on my legs. I was hot, hungry, and completely confused as to where I was traveling. I was squashed by an over sized woman and child and could not even see past the 3 inches in front of me. We were in one of the worst areas and I was just pissed and didn't' really understand why. Oh not to mention when I got out of the bus there was a lady literally beating a donkey; I felt like i was in a nightmare and would never wake up!

My frustration suddenly vanished; instead I completely heartbroken and overwhelmed to say the least. The images were just like on the TV ads that show the worst of the worst. All the
"homes" were made off dried cow poop and bamboo sticks. The rooftops were caving in and the small children barely had any smiles nor shoes. Everyone was staring; i don't think I will ever adjust to that. Then I met Tereza. She is a middle-aged, HIV positive woman struggling just to survive. She welcomed us into her home. I knew I would be making home visits but I never knew the feelings that would come along with it. It was so depressing and i felt SO helpless. We starting talking with her and she starting crying. The society is so corrupt here especially when it comes to women. The men dominate and have little to no respect for women. You can tell this lady is lost in her own misery. We left her with smiles and it made me feel like I was making a slight difference but not much. Then we met Kea. He is 72 and is Masaai. In that tribe they practice polygamy. He had 4 wives and the last one tested positive. His 6 year old son is now positive and is receiving no treatment. The little boy came up and sat next to me and shook my hand. What a gentleman! It killed me though. We did the same there and told them we would check in with them next week.

As i left I was so overwhelmed. I held it together during the visits but I cant explain it... I was just sad. I know we are helping them but actually changing the lifestyle here takes years. Knowing that these people will still go on living like that no matter what you do is difficult to swallow. Its like once you see this, you feel so responsible to do something about it. That is when i needed to remind myself of my preparations before i arrived. Thinking and feeling are two complete opposites. I know I can only do so much...

I think the next time I am in that situation I will be much more prepared. Every day here is a new culture shock because you see something shocking each and every step. It is complex environment and nothing comes to surprise.

I must say that through all the challenges change is happening. Maybe more in myself than the African people but regardless, transformations are occurring. After yesterday I was emotionally just drained. Like I said in the last blog it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Expressing and venting makes me feel so much better...

Enough of that depressing stuff! Marianne and I have found some humor in the African lifestyle. Part of it may be cruel but it really does lighten the mood. Through boredom we put together a list of things. Although it is probably one of those "you just have to be there" still.. try and relate people!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN AFRICA WHEN...

... You pee on your leg and you don't even care.
... The food looks the same going in as it does coming out.
... the bus carries three times the maximum occupancy no matter who, what, where, or when.
... You have memorized the diverse scents of body odor. We have actually discussed our favorites among the many!
... my butt is the smallest in town. I have a big badunkadunk too!
... if you leave the house with out antibacterial gel you might as well prepare your funeral. (so bad i know)
... dogs run wild and goats are on leashes! (you think i am kidding but I am not at all!)

Oh there are so many more. I will slowly display them when I feel it is fitting! I hope you don't think I am just cruel..it is necessary to make light of the culture!

I am going to the orphanage on Monday and only working for WOFATA one or two days next week. I'm not sure i could handle that everyday! Although i have been warned that the orphanage is almost worst. We will have to see!!! I hope everyone is having a blessed day!!

Be thankful in ALL things.

KATIE

I need to V E N T

I knew my trip was going to face some challenges and let me tell you... it has!! Yes, many things have been wonderful but a lot has gone on in the last 48 hours!

Yesterday, I had my first day of work. I was under the impression that we were meeting patients at the hospital and talking with them to get to know their lifestyle. Well, we met HIV positive people but it was in a cafe; completely unorganized. We asked them questions about what life is like, how old they are, blah blah blah. They all answered the same and seemed to not need any help besides financial help. I know I seem very cold hearted right now but if you were there, you would have been beyond annoyed. Honestly, I didn't travel 10000 miles away to have someone tell me the obvious! We are supposed to be working with WOFATA which has been around for 4 years. They seek sick women and try to build their confidence in hopes that the women will eventually become public with their illness. Sounds great right? NOT. I know I sound so harsh but we were basically organizing all this crap to try and get them money. They didn't want our help other than that. It was so frustrating. The pieces just never fit and it really made me start wondering what I got myself into!!! We are willing to help the sick but not supply money and do all this work for them. It is like they just bounce from volunteer to volunteer to pay for their dinner that night. NOT what I signed up for...

So, we left the "meeting" being extremely frustrated. It is difficult when you put so much money, time, and effort into something and it is just not what you expected. Don't get me wrong, it was really interesting to speak to these women but they are healthy and seem to be perfectly well. They are extremely capable and could actually do something for themselves. I wouldn't mind helping them and teaching them how to fund raise or even help them make crafts and stuff but I am not just going to hand over money to buy their carrots that night; that is not fair.

Last night was tough. It was a mixture of being super homesick, tired, hot, and just uneasy. I thought about the situation way to much and just broke down. I wanted to come here to feel like i would make a difference and working with this particular group, i knew i would never accomplish that. There was so much more that just didn't fit.

Sleeping last night was such a blessing. Right after dinner marianne and I went straight to bed. We discussed what needed to happen and what we were going to say. I woke up with knots in my stomach!

Marianne was feeling sick this morning so it gave us an excuse to not go to work and repeat the same thing that happened previously. Instead, we called the head coordinator and called a meeting. I'm not gonna lie, speaking with 4 black men who barely speak English is very intimidating. However, I faced my first real challenge and succeeded! Marianne and i told them everything we were feeling. We told them that things dealing with this project need to change because no other volunteer should be placed here when there is clearly no organization. We approached the situation very professionally and they were more than accommodating! We told them that we want to help these women but not in this manner. I also said that i want to go to the orphanage on Monday and stop doing this project full time. It was actually a really awesome confrontation. Although it was really difficult, they were very appreciative because they want to make there program better. Now, we still get to help these women but only when we have free time. On Monday we are both going to Good Hope Orphanage. I can finally do what I came here to do but at the same time we changed this program to benefit everyone... it really was fascinating!

Something else really cool happened. Our host mom sews. We suggested that she should teach the woman of WOFATA to sew so t hey could meet for support groups while doing an activity. This morning she came home and told us that she talked to her sister and she got a room to host these lessons! That may not seem like a big deal but honestly... that is very hard to do and it was done in like an hour!

24 hours ago I was pissed, upset, and beyond frustrated. Now, I have faced the challenge and it worked out better for everyone. It is ironic how if you are patient but work diligently, things improve. All things really are possible but not if you don't put yourself out there. Together, marianne and I worked, and created movement. In this third world environment, that is hard to do. I am feeling much better and I see the women and culture with a different eye...

Hopefully things continue to get better. I know this was the first real challenge and won't be the last. This is still a learning experience and i pray that I continually grow as an individual as this adventure moves forward...

<3

i have pictures!

A group of men playing Bao in the market... very fun!

Driving home from the beach. I tried to get a good picture of the streets but you can't really see... ill work on that for next time!

Sunrise beach...gorgeous and very posh.

Meet Yoctan! Sweetest person alive. He is our teacher and rafiki. Nice outfit katie! ha.

I was sweating like a mad woman. This lady was nuts!

My bed with my mosquito net! It is sideways but you get the point.

This is Mali.. he is the safari guy.. very helpful!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The insects are just foul.

Me and the girls at the beach!

The food.. this is what I eat just about every meal. That's all. This is a good meal... enough said.

Howdy! I can finally upload some pictures! It is taking forever but I think it might work. I made it to Arusha...finally! ahhhh it was the L O N G E S T bus ride in my entire life. Our last night in the hostel, the staff took us out. Let me tell you it was the best night ever. We went dancing again at the local bar and I finally started getting the hang of it. These people can move their hips soo good its insane. ALL of them. I had an interesting experience with the so called "choo" which means toilet. There is no such thing as flushing toilets when you are in Africa. I'm still struggling with the squatting business and I had a difficult time when we were at dinner. There is bathrooms but they are more like squatting holes with pee all over the floor. It literally smells like ass! haha. Sorry for being vulgar but there is no other word that describes it better. Anyway, so make a long story short i had a skirt on and I dropped my underwear on the floor!!!!! it was the most rancid experience so far and the other girls were laughing at me the whole night. Now, I have forced myself to learn to squat and slowly I am mastering it. Hope this doesn't make anyone uncomfortable...i guarantee I am much more uncomfortable over here! Luckily, that event did not ruin my night. I learned to dance with the crazy drunk lady. You will see the picture of her; that says enough. She was very helpful though. Packing up and leaving the hostel was very sad. It actually felt like my new home and leaving right when you feel comfortable is difficult. I survived though and I am slowing adapting to every new environment.

The country side driving to Arusha was so beautiful. It was much better than Dar! There was trees and flowers and mountains! It was great! I got bored after the first 1500 trees and I was just ready to get to Arusha. Ten hours later we arrived and were greeting by very nice, new coordinators. They drove us to our host family. I am still with Marianne from Denmark...Thank GOODNESS. I can't imagine being alone. The family is very sweet; very shy. This is their first time hosting volunteers so I think all of us are a bit overwhelmed. Marianne and I both are experiencing culture shock all over again. I laugh when I am uncomfortable and I was literally praying the entire dinner to not laugh. Not that anything was funny but man... NO ONE was talking. I couldn't even look at Marianne because I would have lost all control. The food was actually pretty tasty although it was hard to enjoy because I could hear everyone at the table swallow. That's how silent it was. AWKWARD. After dinner we went to bed and I slept like a baby. The weather is soooooo much cooler and there are no mosquito's. Quite a few strange flying insects but I am getting used to them. Marianne and I can't figure out how to flush the toilet. right when we have a flushing toilet we cant even figure out how it works. I'm telling you, each hour here is a new adventure. It has been a lot of laughing, and the new term is "Welp, welcome to Africa!" Nothing comes to surprise here.

This morning was much more comfortable. I woke up to English rap. HAHAHAHAHAHa it was quite hilarious but I actually felt some comfort in it. I was very thankful for that. I showered and my host mama gave me a large bucket of hot water! I haven't felt hot water in over a week. It was such a pleasant treat! I ate some omelet sort of thing for breakfast. Then we walked about 2 miles to the meeting place to start our project. We met our director and he was very welcoming. It was nice! So today, we are resting and starting our project tomorrow. That is why I have time now to write. I get to interview 3 AIDS patients at the hospital tomorrow. I'm so excited but a little nervous.

I have figured out that this is going to a long 10 weeks. I feel like I have so many stories already; i can't imagine after three months. Culture shock is very strange... it gives you a very uneasy feeling and very vulnerable to all emotions. Luckily I have Marianne so we have been able to discuss every emotion. Again, ups and downs but all around a very educational, funny, and perhaps adventurous. I have learned to be more patient but still have a long way to go. The environment is very slow here and not much is organized. But, I still manage to love it.

That is all for now! I'm going to try and upload these pictures and videos. Hope all is well across the world!!!

My new favorite word is Amani. It means peace.. it has been my saving grace!

Kwaheri!

SO much to say, so little time

Habari zu Mchana! My goodness I have such little time and so much to say. The internet has not been working so I have not been able to get online.. it sucks! So.. I am going to try and recap this last week. This week has been one of the most educational, eye-opening weeks of my life. I have been doign the language and culture course and tomorrow I make my way up to Arusha to start my projects. They switched my projects so I start the HIV tomorrow not the orphange. It will be very interesting!

Ok so... I have finally been able to come out of the culture shock. Things are still shocking but I almost cannot remember what went on a few days ago because it is almost a blur. I have seen almost ALL of Dar Es Salaam and learned so much from each place. So, after my first night things got a little easier. I was able to learn the dynamics of living in a hostel. Njo is the cook and she has been preparing our meals. The food is um..... not the best. It is called ugali and it looks like sticky porrage. I don't know how to spell that but it has no flavor and you eat it with your hands. If you order fish, its the WHOLE fish. Chicken, looks like it still can cluck. Its not wonderful but I stick to the steamed rice and beans.

I'm all jumbled and trying to recap. Wednesday night was incredible. Mali and Kukunkunku are two guys that do the safaris and they work with Global Crossroads...very sweet and informative. They invited us to go dancing with the locals. You can only imagine 4 white girls in east Africa with the locals. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's all i have to say. It was amazing though. We were driving there at about 8 00 and everyone is on the streets. The daladalas are still jam packed and life never stops. So we get to the bar and everyone is so welcoming. The dancing is nothing like American dancing. I can't describe it but I looked terrible and laughed the WHOLE time. It was quite comical. The whole experience was such an honor. It was great to see happy people among all the depressing things here. They were the most friendly and encouraging individuals I have ever met. Mali talked about serious issues like AIDS and tribal traditions. It blew my mind. I feel guilty now for being completely naive about what really goes on in other places. It is unbelieveable. It is even more unbelievable that I am able to see it with my own eyes... i feel completely honored.

So this whole week has been language lessons and site seeing. I havent done much helping yet. This week is strictly for us to learn the culture and see the tourist spots. So.. I have seen some really cool things! We went downtown. The only way I can describe it is people everywhere, beggars, crippled, banks, cell phones, babies, and no driving laws. it was a sight to see. We went to the fish market and the stench was so bad i literally was trying to hold my puke. I bought an awesome game called BAO. It is kind of like mancala but better. All the locals play is and I am a pro. I amproud to say thatno one can beat me! ha...its great. :>

Yoctan is our teacher and now is our friend. We made him a thank you card and just gave it to him. When I think about saying goodbye it brings me to tears. I would do anything for him to see what America is like. He is so curious to learn and he is VERY intelligent. Also, he is a great teacher. I know plenty of Swahili to get by and they all expect us to be fluent by the time we leave. I truly hope so... its a way cool language!

We went to Bagamoro which is about 45 minutes out of Dar. The whole way there is trees and huts. It is really pretty. There we ate lunch and had a tour of all the historical sites. it was the first time I have ever seen the Indian Ocean. It was stunning. There was so much history here. We have also been to two museums. They are kinda boring to me but the other girls liked them. I have learned that I'm not much the museum girl..my attention span never lasts past the first president.

Yesterday, we spend the day at Sunrise beach. For some reason we are getting special treatment from the staff members. I think it is a mutual appreciation kind of thing. They usually don't take people to this beach but I am so over joyed they they did. Sunrise beach is a 5star resort that all the mzumgu's *white people* pay for. It was SO COOL. This was a vacation! The beaches are gorgeous. The sand is white and soft and the water is crystal clear. I wish I could upload my pictures because you would be amazed. I went swimming in a t-shirt and the water was so warm! We drank pepsi and relaxed...what a treat.

This morning, we went to church. By far one of the best experiences in my life thus far. the church was so pretty and the people were so happy! It was a combination of southern baptist and Lutheran. That's the best description. All the sudden there were lines of the choir singing and clapping down the aisle. I couldn't even understand one word but the energy was insane. I felt so alive and so blessed to experience it. I wish everyone could be in such a raw environment. You need to see it to believe it. God is good that's all a sister has to say haha.

Today is our last evening in the Hostel and they are treating us to dinner on the town tonight. I am a little hesitant but pleased to participate. These people are beyond inspiring. Tomorrow we are leaving to go to Arusha and our other coordinators are picking us up at the bus station. The real test will come in these next couple weeks!

I finally got around to writing myself a letter. I am writing another one when I leave and going to compare the two. I also wrote a list of goals and adventures I hope to complete.

Many people have been asking the basic questions of food and stuff so I am just going to rattle off a bunch of chaos. Food: not so great. I am not scared. I feel super safe with the staff and the local people. I watch my bag everywhere I go but i never feel unsafe. The saddest thing so far is probably being downtown. The disabled are VERY disabled and they are all alike. No hygiene, can't walk, and just out of it. Many people have sores and it is so sad. The other day I was sitting next to a small child and her mom and the girl had mouth sores. I felt helpless. They only thing I could do is pray. So far I have had running water and a bed. I sleep under a mosquito net, it actually comforts me. It is like a little cocoon, i think i might miss it! ha.

I am not too homesick. There has been times but honestly, I am so ecstatic to be here. I feel privileged and I hope everyone can do something like this. I'm still waiting to have that strong need to go home because I know it will come but so far...im money.

I think that is all for now. I would love to share intricate details but i just don't have the time to do that. I already have so many pictures and videos and can't wait to share my travels with you! Please keep up the prayers.. they have been working. Mimi nina penda rafiki. Next time you hear from me I will be in Arusha... yay! Thank you to those who have been emailing me. All the encouragement is so greatly appreciated. It truly makes me smile reading little pieces from home.

Sadiki.

BYE!!!!

ps: i just read my post through really quickly before I post it and I realized I said ''so'' loads of times. I will work on that next time!

Mambo vipi?

Jambo! I am pleased to annouce that I am finally in Africa! It has been one LONG day and there is so much to say. Please excuse my mispelled words and jubbled sentences because I am crammed for time but I want to share my experience so far. So today on the plane I was feelign a little homesick. I was tired, anxious, and nervous because the lonesomeness was really starting to set it. But, we arrived in Tanzania right when the Sun was rising. It was like God was saying look at my beautiful creation and find peace in what you are doing. That feeling was extremely comforting and I don't think I will ever forget that moment. As I was leaving the plance and walking towards passport checks, my heart was beating so fast I swear it could have jumped out of me. I wasn't scared, but I was most definitely uneasy about being in this foreign place. But, everything worked out. I did exactly as my coordinator said and looked for Yotam Bonifice who was holding a poster with my name on it. Finding him was like finding a gold mine. I was SO happy however I was still nervous. All the africans stare and they think are super rich. Anyhoo, we got in a van with torn seats, i swear flat tires, and no chance of AC. The heay here is so hot. I mean.... hot! Its like a hot tropical humid air that seriously makes my armpits leave sweatmark and that has never happened in my life. The drive from the airport to my hostel was about 30 min. It was sooooo strange. I was in complete culture shock. All around me was madness. The sides of the road were covered with people. All sorts of different black people. All thewomen were carrying baskets on their heads and babies on their backs. The men were riding bikes with stacks and stacks of eggs on the back of it. Small children were in uniform walking to class. The traffic was out of control and the people stared at me through the windows. It wasn't a scary feeling, they were jsut interested in me. The streets are covered with litter. I'm talking disgusting garbage. The first medic I saw read 1. AIDS 2. Mouth Sores 3. Chronic Malaria. It was that moment that I went ... holy Sh**. As we pulled off to a dirt road this old man hopped in the van. We call him Baba which means grandfather. He was so happy to see me that he couldnt' stop hugging me. It was cute but not gonna lie a little overwhelming. So we finally made it to the hostel and I was greeted my 5 other lovely volunteers. A couple from hawaii, and all the rest are girls. One from London, Denmark, and Seattle. It's been awesome. I am sharing a room with the Dutch woman. Anyway so i had my first Swahili lesson with my teacher Yoctan. He's the man. He is 23 and my height. He speaks great English and has had a very interesting life. I think he's infected but I don't dare ask. After a few hours of that we went to the Village Musuem. Besides the dreadful walk there the museum was great. It has all the villages and their huts and culture. I even saw wild monkeys and this group African dance with drums... the whole deal. It really was an adventure. Then we hopped on the Dala Dala. That is the local bus. By the way Yoctan is also our day time travel guide so we weren't alone. So we took the bus to the Carvers Market. I swear I felt like I was in a dream. I didn't think places like this existed. Think of the poorest street downtown and multiply it by 100. These people have nothing. The market sells arts and crafts and tourist gifts. I didn't buy anything because we are goign to city tomorrow and I dont want to waste money. My Swahili actuallu was okay! I have a long way to go but I actually had a few conversations. It is still strange because everyone stops, stares, and greets you. They are very friendly people and jsut want to talk. It's cool, but very intimidating at first.

I am so tired I can't even explain it. Its 8.20 pm here and I am abotu to hit the sack. Jet lag is no bueno. Oh! look up the Massai tribe on google. Those people really exist and they are fascinating. I saw so many of them and they are just like the books say. It really is very odd culture but beautiful in some strange way. The life stil here is polipoli. That means very slow.

It's an interesting world over here. It has been an interesting adventure so far. I have learned so much in these last 72 hours, I can't even imagine 3 months. ugh.. the thought of being dirty for 3 more months and missing home is not a good combo. I love what I am doing here but I do miss home. All the other volunteers said they went through the same thing on their first day. I'm sure it will pass... thanks for all the continuous thoughts and prayers. I can feel them even though I am 10000 miles away. Ill try and keep you updated as often as possible...

good night!!!!!

it's raining, it's pouring.

iii carumba its pouring rain over here! I am soaking wet at a Kinkos somewhere around Green Park. Today has been soooo challenging but well worth every bit of it. I am trying to upload some pictures so you can see what I have been doing. I woke up at 7:30 and I was still so tired. I went to breakfast and packed my bags. My luggage is still at the hotel and I need to go grab it before my flight tonight. Let me just tell you thank goodness for nice people. I found my way to the FREE bus and then to the underground (subway). I purchased an all day travel pass for the Piccadilly Line. It works wonders! I have had trouble with my credit card though. Thank goodness I have cash and could exchange it for pounds because I would have been completely stuck. Anyway some woman felt bad for me and helped me out. GOD BLESS HER!

Luckily, I found my way to South Kensington where all the museums are. I went to the Science Museum, Natural History Museum, and the Victoria and Albert Museum. They were all interesting but truthfully, I was bored after about um.... 2 minutes of each. Surprise Surprise? Dad, you would have loved the Science museum; I thought about you the whole time.

Things are going really well though. It sucks not being able to share this experience with anyone. Right when you really wish you had someone to laugh at when you look so stupid is right when you realize you are alone again. I have had a lot of peace in my alone time but i'm ready to meet some friends. It's interesting being the outsider... it's kinda nice because I really don't care about much but at the same time its frustrating standing in the middle of a foreign country soaking wet with a torn map. I have had many highs and few lows. Not to shabby :)

Along with this journal I have my own personal journal I write in each chance I get. I am trying to write down at least one thing I learned that day and my favorite moment. Yesterday, I learned that an elevator is called a "lift" here. Seems fitting but at first it did not register. I also learned that it's okay to be completely unfamiliar.

I have a LONG day still ahead. I have to catch some lunch and then head back to Heathrow; thinking about picking up that luggage causes my stomache to nausiate. Then I am finally on my way to Tanzania. Right when I am getting used to London, I vacate. Being able to explore has really sparked an even greater interest in backpacking Europe. These past two days has jsut been a tease. I swear if I wasn't sure about Africa I would just stay in Europe for three months! I have WAY better pictures but it took forever and these were the only ones that popped up. Hopefully I can get more later. Cheers!

Love from far far away,

ka ka ka katie