whoops, there she goes.

With a mixture of buffoonery, selling apparel for legal tender, and a life consumed of lesson plans, I have

regrettably put blogging on hold for um…. 4 months.

There has been much to say and little effort on my part to exploit the thrilling details of routine. Lets explain. I work, I go to school, I run, and I skype. In between I drink a beer out of a frozen golf bag mug, obsess over twilight, and miss the love of my life.

Um let's do a quick visual recap:

Luke and I went on a cruise to the Caribbean! We went to Florida Keys, Cozumel, and Belize. INCREDIBLE.

Fall favorites:

phew.

That's a wrap.

ps. Were running the Las Vegas Half Marathon. Say a prayer.

It's one of those days...

well hello world. Sorry it has been so long since my last post, I've been all around lately. Just a brief over view of things in february and march: Well first, i CELEBRATED three years of life on February 24th. It was the anniversary of the shooting; a very exciting, fulfilling, miraculous day. Every year, my emotions and thoughts have changed. This year, I was nervous yet thrilled. Waking up that morning was evidence that Jesus loves me more than I could ever imagine. One word stuck with me..

Purpose.

Then came Valentine's Day. Of course I spent it with lukey! We went to Disneyland. We were such little kids and enjoyed every second.






School, school, school, then Spring break! Unfortunately, it was not spent in quite the chipper mood. My Uncle Pancho, was killed in a motorcycle crash while racing. It was instant; he went the exact way he would have wanted to. However, we miss him dearly. Since, we have learned wonderful things about his life and the kind of person he was. For me, I learned a great deal about trust. There is a powerful message in trust. Fully trusting God, is very difficult to do. Many say they do, although many really do not fully understand. After having a relationship with God my whole life, spring break was the first glimpse of full, lasting trust. Rest in Peace Uncle Pancho, I love you so.







I had a girls weekend with Julie and her mom in San Francisco.. it was perfect! Shopping, food, face masks, wine, and sauna.. um hello!!! It was great! The only thing missing was Katrina :[





It seems I have hardly caught my breath since spring break. March went faster then it came! I spent some weekends drinking wine, tanning with my pi phi girls, and having many sleepovers in Ash p's bed. It was been wonderful spending time there. I only have a few weeks left of Pi Phi... crazy!

This past weekend though, I spent the weekend with my boo! As always, I fall more and more in love with him everytime I am with him. He's been my missing puzzle piece for years and it so refreshing everytime I spend time with him. We went camping in San Diego.. it was incredible! We drank our favorite beer, cooked campfire food, and laughed the whole time. (Were camping here so don't judge!)

Now, I am stressing about summer jobs, my future career, and my math test tomorrow!! ughh.. i'm soooo over school! I'm trying to take a different approach this time though. Usually, I would be a wreck ball. Welp, the wreck ball has expired!!! I go home for Easter this weekend, woo hoo! I can't wait to spend time with the family. I also have my advising session at UNLV. So, I will finally know my exact graduation date, figure out all my transfer stuff, and be on my way!

I don't really know what else to say. I'm at a transition stage right now. Finishing up this semester, saying goodbye to UNR and Pi Phi, and counting down the days until Luke moves back to Vegas. I'm very happy and finding peace in simple things.. Until next... ciao.

"I will never forsake you"

-Jesus

not a wallflower tonight.

Why are artichokes so good? They barely have any flavor yet they are so scrumptious. Currently I am eating a fresh cooked meal and drinking a glass of wine. I've come quite accustomed to the quiet; it's actually quite perfect. I've become the girl in the window making dinner. You know in the movies they show people through the window not caring about world beyond the walls. And they always attached an emotional feel to it, sad or happy. That's me every night.

It's my unwind time. I have never had so much alone time and I never knew how challenging it could be. It's pushing me to actually be, well me. Obviously throughout life the self defining "me" changes constantly but I'm being pushed, and thriving off of it. Coming to to Reno has not been what I expected. It's been better. At times, I want to scream and cry and instead of being the girl in the window I want to be a wallflower. However, it's allowed and still will allows so many thoughts and healing to occur. I was in yoga yesterday and had a sudden urge to talk to my mom. Like many mother daughter relationships there were many broken areas. Not realizing it all these years but suddenly those last ten minutes of yoga I had tears in my eyes. I grew scared and questionable about my relationship when I knew it was already a positive healthy connection. But, like all relationships people get hurt; people need to heal. There was built up emotion for the both of us. Being able to openly discuss issues from years ago made me want to shout for joy. Being able to understand and discuss the journey of a teenage girl and a frighten ted mother was such a freeing feeling. It was a moment that I had anticipated for years. Mom, I'm so thankful we patched open wounds; your guidance and wisdom has made me a much better person. Thank you for teaching me about forgiveness, humility, and the ability to love unconditionally...

I know when I publish my scattered thoughts it seems so repetitive but its moving how much emotional progress occurs through this. I wouldn't care if one person didn't read this, but the "not caring" is quite liberating. Although I'm not always this deep, when writing the depth just pours out. Don't worry, I keep the unmentionable stuff to my self and my favorite person in the world... Luke.

Which brings me to my next topic. It's incredible how much someone can transform your life. Of course the butterflies and googly feeling when you first date someone is unforgettable, but it's the connection, trust, and absolute unconditional feeling that consumes me that continues to draw me closer to him everyday. The best part about this complete bliss is know that for the rest of my life, he will continue to help me become a better person. It's easy to express myself him, he understands me. More than that, he accepts me. His patience, concern, dedication and complete openness makes me the luckiest girl on the planet. I'm so thankful that we just kinda "spun" into each others arms. I couldn't go one day without you. Great is the joy you bring.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push.

Joann Thomas

When God Winks

Today is a wonderful day. Regardless of my hours of homework, chem class, and dreadful workout, today is and will be a wonderful day.



I must admit I probably had the best winter break I have ever had. I did nothing besides play cards, drink yummy beer, and lounge with people I love. I can't remember having days in a row where there was nothing important that had to get done. I wouldn't want a life of laziness but my goodness it was wonderful for few weeks!!



The New Year is always an exciting time for me. It means all over the world people are thinking about goals. Whether or not they pursue them who knows but its awesome to know that people are out there thinking about positive life change. As I said last year, every day could and should be a day of change. I can honestly say that I did focus on that last year and so many amazing opportunities came my way. However, I still could work harder and will do it this year!



For family that doesn't know... I made the Dean's list!! All that hard worked paid off.. woo hoo!!

That was a definite goal and it felt damn good to complete it. And, mel graduated from nursing school.. sooo jealous yet soooo proud!



So lately I have been thinking about the power of coincidence. I may have talked about it a while ago but there is this book and its called When God Winks. I highly recommend to anyone of any faith. I changed my life and I will continue to always share this with people. This book is about coincidence and the power behind it. The authors main message is "If you were God, and couldn't be seen, couldn't be heard, and couldn't touched, how would you speak to people?" Especially non believers or people that see coincidence as weird experiences that appear ironic. BUT, the author describes a coincidence as a God wink. Obviously I can't write and explain the whole idea right now but it is awesome. It gives purpose to everything we do and it helps us feel like we are in the right place at the right time. He says that every coincidence is planned.. there is no such thing as a coincidence. So every time you say "Isn't that so weird, what are the chances of that happening" There is a deeper meaning for why that occured. So he suggests writing them down whenever you find yourself saying that. This prevents forgetting it and later you can recap. There is always an end to a story and so many coincidences are left completely unanswered. Now before I read this book, I never exercised any thought to this strange realm of weird happenings. I never really thought much about coincidences. Truthfully, I never even paid attention to them past the 2 minutes it happened. But after, let me tell you it was almost creepy. I noticed so much more. Here's one of the greatest examples of a God Wink for me...



OK so I was in Tanzania at the time, It about a month into my trip when Luke called me one morning. (Him calling was always exciting since communication was hard but this was especially exciting!) He said that a kid from Africa goes to his school. He heard him talking in the cafeteria and hes pretty sure hes from Tanzania. Now people, first of all, Luke's school has about 2300 kids TOTAL. It's smaller than my own high school. Second, it is very very difficult to come to America if you are from Africa. Third, do you know how big Africa is and how many people live there? The chances of someone being from Africa at Luke's school is crazy but actually the same country that I was in?? It was so strange. Anyway.. so I told him he must talk to him and find out more. I was so excited. So about two weeks later I get this phone call at 5 am my time. It was luke saying he has someone that wants to talk to me. It was this kid! We started talking and I was able to speak Swahili with him. I started asking him where he was from within the country and I almost dropped the phone. I was in the exact town he was from. I mean what?? While we were 12000 miles apart, I was in his hometown. It was so ironic. So we exchanged emails and sure enough one week later I was sitting having coffee with his brother in Arusha, Tanzania. Throughout my trip I spent a lot of time with his family; there were sooo sooo good to me. I ate dinner with them on my last night and was so humbled but the compassion of this family. Now, that is a fricken God Wink. There is no way I can think that was an accident. Not only did it confirm emotions for Luke, but it closed all my insecurities about my trip. Without a doubt I knew I was falling in love with the right person, and I knew that trip was all part of this huge growing experience for me. I was on the right path.



Well this is getting so long. The reason I even brought it up was since this book, the big and little things pop out. My living situation as changed and it was a difficult transition. But there was a God Wink throughout it all and that is why today is a wonderful day.



Approach today with a wide open heart.





amani,

k