Wow...I don't really know where to start. It has been way too long since I have last written. As most of you know, I am back home... safe and sound. Missing Africa and the children with all my heart but comforted by the smells, sounds, and feelings of home...
To wrap up the end of my trip in this one blog would be difficult. Saying goodbye to the children, leaving my home away from home, and experiencing such closure was difficult to say the least. Once I left Living Water I endulged in a mini vacation in Zanzibar. Zanzibar is a tiny tropical island of the coast of East Africa. Stunning, quiet, and absolutely serene. Sleeping in stilted huts, sun bathing in hammocks, and swimming with wild dolphins in the Indian Ocean is something I never envisioned 4 months ago. It was the perfect end to a long journey.
Now, being back home has been challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love America but my goodness it was/is quite overwhelming to be back in the western world. I was in complete culture shock arriving in Africa; however, the shock on the return journey has been worse. Maybe it was because it was right before Christmas but the commotion and concerns of most the the people I observed were far from what I came from. I'm guitly too. My concerns were the same before I left. Hopefully, I can find an even balance between the two worlds; a lifestyle formed from two opposite, diverse cultures.
It is hard to believe that my Africa adventure is over and done with. Well, not "done" but my physical presence in that continent is gone. My trip was so anticipated. For months beforehand I was preparing for it; my whole life was altered prior to the actual departure date. Looking back and now looking forward I'm focusing on staying on two feet.
Going to Africa was the best choice I have ever made. All my concerns, worries, anxieties before were well worth the growth that happened within myself. As a human I struggle. I still will just like everyone else. However, I have finally reached the confidence in myself to acknowledge a struggle, consider my options, and put one foot in front of the other. I'm sick of playing the role as a victim. Everyone has hardships; everyone hurts. The second I started living my life not feeling like I was constantly under attack and quick to blame others, I actually started living again. It was a neccessary awakening and has profoundly changed my life, relationships, and love towards people. I'm so very thankful for the patient people, and the not so patient people. Ironically, all the missing puzzle pieces are slowing coming together...
I will continue to write on here as often as I feel. For now, I am Kates in Vegas. I will start school again in January while I am preparing for my next travel abroad...coming this fall! Please pray for my transition back to real life. It has taken quite the adjustment and I still have a long "journey" when entering reality again. Also, pray that I maintain the humility and surrendering lifestyle that I so badly want to keep. It's easier to be as "katie" as I want to be when I am away so I am searching for the courage to simply maintain. I want to live for others not myself; I truly believe there is no greater fulfillment.
Thank you to those who believed in me. Thank more for those who did not.
I have a burden to share my story. It is difficult because some people see my self expression as an act of selfishness, "look at me and my great deeds" kind of persona. The truth is far from that. As humans we are given the opportunity to find security and create an unending inspiration to overcome; I strongly hope that others will search within and simply invite change to take place. I needed to love myself before I could envision loving others. As for me and myself, I am completly surrendering my life, my story, my future...
May you have a safe, spontaneous, and joyful New Year.
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