you know you are in Africa when...

Good morning all...

Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me. Before I came on this trip there were two things that I tried to prepare myself for.
1. I knew I couldn't help everyone
2. This trip would be very challenging; not so much fun, but in the end it would be extremely fulfilling

Well, both of those became reality.

My host baba (dad) works at the head office for the Lutheran Church in Tanzania. He hooked us up with some doctors just to chat. It was VERY nice of him and great to see some better organization skills being practiced compared to what I have been experiencing. It was a selfish moment that I regret now. I was annoyed at seeing programs well organized while i was trying to help WOFATA which is completely unstable and clearly needs tremendous work. After the meeting with the doctor we traveled on the DalaDala which is when I almost snapped. I have 3 bug bites on my face, 2 on my neck, and like 4 on my legs. I was hot, hungry, and completely confused as to where I was traveling. I was squashed by an over sized woman and child and could not even see past the 3 inches in front of me. We were in one of the worst areas and I was just pissed and didn't' really understand why. Oh not to mention when I got out of the bus there was a lady literally beating a donkey; I felt like i was in a nightmare and would never wake up!

My frustration suddenly vanished; instead I completely heartbroken and overwhelmed to say the least. The images were just like on the TV ads that show the worst of the worst. All the
"homes" were made off dried cow poop and bamboo sticks. The rooftops were caving in and the small children barely had any smiles nor shoes. Everyone was staring; i don't think I will ever adjust to that. Then I met Tereza. She is a middle-aged, HIV positive woman struggling just to survive. She welcomed us into her home. I knew I would be making home visits but I never knew the feelings that would come along with it. It was so depressing and i felt SO helpless. We starting talking with her and she starting crying. The society is so corrupt here especially when it comes to women. The men dominate and have little to no respect for women. You can tell this lady is lost in her own misery. We left her with smiles and it made me feel like I was making a slight difference but not much. Then we met Kea. He is 72 and is Masaai. In that tribe they practice polygamy. He had 4 wives and the last one tested positive. His 6 year old son is now positive and is receiving no treatment. The little boy came up and sat next to me and shook my hand. What a gentleman! It killed me though. We did the same there and told them we would check in with them next week.

As i left I was so overwhelmed. I held it together during the visits but I cant explain it... I was just sad. I know we are helping them but actually changing the lifestyle here takes years. Knowing that these people will still go on living like that no matter what you do is difficult to swallow. Its like once you see this, you feel so responsible to do something about it. That is when i needed to remind myself of my preparations before i arrived. Thinking and feeling are two complete opposites. I know I can only do so much...

I think the next time I am in that situation I will be much more prepared. Every day here is a new culture shock because you see something shocking each and every step. It is complex environment and nothing comes to surprise.

I must say that through all the challenges change is happening. Maybe more in myself than the African people but regardless, transformations are occurring. After yesterday I was emotionally just drained. Like I said in the last blog it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Expressing and venting makes me feel so much better...

Enough of that depressing stuff! Marianne and I have found some humor in the African lifestyle. Part of it may be cruel but it really does lighten the mood. Through boredom we put together a list of things. Although it is probably one of those "you just have to be there" still.. try and relate people!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN AFRICA WHEN...

... You pee on your leg and you don't even care.
... The food looks the same going in as it does coming out.
... the bus carries three times the maximum occupancy no matter who, what, where, or when.
... You have memorized the diverse scents of body odor. We have actually discussed our favorites among the many!
... my butt is the smallest in town. I have a big badunkadunk too!
... if you leave the house with out antibacterial gel you might as well prepare your funeral. (so bad i know)
... dogs run wild and goats are on leashes! (you think i am kidding but I am not at all!)

Oh there are so many more. I will slowly display them when I feel it is fitting! I hope you don't think I am just cruel..it is necessary to make light of the culture!

I am going to the orphanage on Monday and only working for WOFATA one or two days next week. I'm not sure i could handle that everyday! Although i have been warned that the orphanage is almost worst. We will have to see!!! I hope everyone is having a blessed day!!

Be thankful in ALL things.

KATIE