sometimes untitled is just so fitting.

I can hardly believe this semester is coming to an end. I think a mix of stress, PMS, and transitioning into next semester is causing me to be quite emotional. Whenever change happens I go through this thought process and recall and condition all my experiences. Well, this semester was a great experience. It made me recognize so much about where my life is headed and also forced me to revisit some past hurts. When I left, I didn't realize how much was left behind. Filtering the bad relationships, places, and internal emotions was the best thing I ever did. It was something that I never truly had control over. I wanted everything to work out with no feelings hurt. Is that real life? Never. Finally, I learned that I actually can have control of my life and love myself in the process. That in fact is the best realization...ever.

Now, I am stressed about finals, moving, Christmas gifts, and anything else that chooses to pop up. However, I was blessed with great gifts at my pi phi christmas party. It was very merry and I appreciate all the love spread.

I don't really know what else to share. I just needed a break from math so I lit my candle, raised the tunes, and just sat. My mood is just blah. However, I'm praying for the heartbroken....

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is no end."

Face of Love

Well Hello from good ol windy reno. It's a lovely day! Let me tell you I have been sooo stressed out this week. Test after test and speech after speech. I can finally say...I DONE! Well, for this week anyway, but hell yeah!

I am in a very chipper mood. I just tuned into my Christmas collection. It's crazy how much this music brings back soooo many memories. Good bad happy sad nonetheless, memories. One year ago I was teaching Christmas carols to cute little african kids. Oh how i miss that. I tried uploading a video but it wouldn't work.

So after reading my journal from Africa, I looked at what I did exactly a year ago. It didn't say much besides many things I am thankful for. My favorite was thank you for letting be me someone to somebody. I remember feeling that way. Now, being back and getting caught up in the stupid stuff again, I realize that I am still given the opportunity to be someone to somebody. I am somebody to many people. How cool! But am I thankful for that? Not since a year ago. Shame on me. Truly, shame on me. We as selfish people and can be somebody EVERYDAY and place.

• This will be my though for the week and maybe if you're reading this you can join me. Let's ask ourselves: Who am I for that person? What can I do to be better for that stranger I see everyday, or my sisters I talked to daily, or family, or old friends. What somebody am I to myself?

Cheesy deep... ya ya ya. It cures me, get over it!

I have a piphi dance tomorrow yeeeaahhh!! The theme is glam rock.. im stoked! Luke arrives this evening, and then the parrtayyy begins!

Love you all. Cheers to Julie in the place I wish I was! love you girrrrl!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself:

everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

holy crap.

Holy crap it has been one year since I was in Africa. I can hardly believe how fast time goes by. I haven't written in soooooooooooooooo long. Not that anyone really cares but I am dissappointed in myself. Although I have my own personal journals and ways of expressing myself, I think it is important for family to know what is going on. Now I assure you my life isn't near as exciting as it was a year ago, but I'm still loving it right????

So, where to start? I spent a semester and summer at home in Vegas. And now, I am back in Reno. It was a VERY quick decision but I'm very happy with it. I basically just came back to finish my senior year in Pi Phi. It's been amazing and a very positive healing experience! I will tell all about it later but quite frankly, I'm just not in the mood to write right now! But please check back because I WILL be sharing much more of MAH LIFE to those who are interested.

toodles.

mah love.

Earlier this evening I arrived back home from a wonderful weekend in California. Visiting Luke, hanging out with my cousins, and playing football on the beach; who can complain right? It was refreshing :]

Ever since New Years I have been thinking about new and old "things" that I want to change this year. As most of the population, people are dieting, getting makeovers, and creating some sort of self renewal. I always try to set ambitious resolutions but they always seem to fade within a few weeks. So, this year I'm trying to focus in a more direct, positive, and detailed manner. January 1st is the beginning of 2008 but no different than any other day. I'm pushing myself to continue making goals and resolutions all year long. I'm not promising anything but sharing the changes I seek mentally seems to be helping...

So, with that here's a little of what is on my mind. The year 2007 was a huge roller coaster. Filled with tears, joy, and well...a year of learning. I made many drastic moves, choices, and focused quite a bit on myself. This year, I am really going to try and put others first. I have spent a good part of my life thinking what Katie wants. At the peak of my selfish moments I have hurt others, damaged my own self esteem, and unfortunately lost some friendships. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to admit it, but I find freedom in declaring my flaws. They say the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem right? Welp, I admit I can be very selfish! Those close to me and anyone willing to encourage help me work on this! Not only do I wish to put friends and family first, but strangers as well. An extra smile, surprise gift, or simple act of kindness to those I do not know goes along with putting others first. Community service is so fulfilling to me and actually very easy. As much as I wish I could fly overseas again it is just not feasible right now. But, help is needed even in the 702. So this year, I am attempting to help what lies in my own backyard. Still a task, but strangers are easy for me; sadly, the people I care the most about seemed to be the most pushed aside. Thus the need for change....now.

OK what else? Reaching out. Forgiving. Mending broken relationships. Every person I know has been hurt or is hurting from a broken relationship. Myself included. In the past few years I have had many people come and go. I believe it involves the realistic transition from high school to college, teen to adulthood. Nevertheless, losing valuable relationships sucks. Its reality that you aren't going to be friends with everyone but one can't use that as an excuse to pave the road of rocky relationships. Friendship editing can be healthy but that is not my focus. My focus is simply being a better friend and mending the broken pieces in friendships that are lacking in the "friend" area. This goes along with my selfishness and is something that needs improvement. No friendship is perfect and not one person is always to blame. But as for me and myself, I know I am capable of being a better friend thus the need for change...now. Friends please be patient with me :]

Another goal is continuing checking off things from my list of things to do before I die. Newly named my "Bucket List" since I saw the movie. I started my list along time ago but Africa felt damn good to check off. It renewed my inspiration and I don't want to lost sight of that. Like I have in the past, I refuse to go another year without checking some "do's" off. Who knows... tomorrow might be the last! Let's live for today people and start now!

That is plenty for now. I hope to have many "New Year's" throughout 2008. Every day is the start of a new year thus the need for change... now.

On you will go

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak

-Dr. Seuss