Wednesday, March 17, 2010

running = best stress cure


This it totally unedited, completely raw; un-cute. I just ran and feel completed rejuvenated and felt the need to just write.

Today I was a total ball of stress. I woke up at 8! I was supposed to wake up at 6 45. I was late to my school to teach. Then one hour after being there I realized I forgot summer registration was today. I ran home, tried to register and ran into issues with the college of education. surprise surprise. I ran back to the school finished teaching about leprachans and rainbows for St. Patties day and tried to catch a break. I came home to an email from my dad that was so sweet, so incredibly thoughtful. My dad is an amazing man and he has a tendency to make me cry.. happy cry. This time it was happy but the tears just made me break down! I've been completely overwhelmed with school, work, the move, scholarship letters, deadlines, and life. Out of exhaustion, stress, and possible PMS I just broke.

That's when I put on my running shoes. Three miles later and some black eyed peas I was a new woman! Its a beautiful day outside and here I was whimpering over nonsense. Now i'm well, cured.

That's all, nothing valuable to the outside world.

just me,
K.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

park it.





Lately, there have been so many little blessings that I fail to really, genuinely appreciate. Usually when they occur, my heart softens, and my brain immediately translates feelings to terminology on scraps of paper. I babble. However, lately, I have had lack of effort and time to really park myself, ponder, and assign the little moments of gratitude to others. Some things aren’t sharable; particular thoughts are boring to those attempting to listen to Katie’s babbles. But lately, many rather cool changes have occurred; it’s time to park it.

My parents are moving to San Diego. I should punctuate that sentence with an alternative mark called an exclamation point, but it would be inconsistent with the way I’m feeling. That’s rude. The blessing is that my dad said many prayers when he lost his job in December. Watching my parents survive, thrive, and persevere has been medicine for me. THAT is a blessing. Sadness overwhelms my selfish side because it leaves insecurity about the stability in our family. However, they are so happy to live in their favorite city, so happy to be in love, and so thankful that God answered prayers better than expected. BLESSING.

This semester has been a massive blur of commutes, cute voices and little hands, rubrics, and children’s literature. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been completely overwhelmed, exhausted, tired, bushed, and did I mention fatigued? Still, I’ve seen the glimpse of graduation/Ireland approaching. The blessing in the tiredness is that I’m learning. I’ve been in a first grade classroom this semester and I can’t explain the little joys those young devils bring me. For example, I was teaching a lesson on the 100th day of school. The creative workshop was to draw a self-portrait of yourself as if you were 100 years old. A cute little devil raised his clammy hand and with wide blue eyes and concerned trembled voice asked, “Ms. Jozsa, will I go to heaven when I am 100 years old?” I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or just marinate in the moment. So, I did just about it all. BLESSING.

An unmentionable name about an unmentionable topic has really made me laugh lately. This friendship is unswerving, authentic, and extremely agreeable… forever. Thanks to YOU for all the phone calls and fun adventures. BLESSIN’ ya’ll.

Although the entire globe knows I’m mad about Luke, it never seems a sufficient amount. That’s just the way I wanted love to be when I dreamed about it as a young woman. I wanted to scream to humanity on the top of a cliff so the entire universe could be informed. Even if that were scientifically achievable, it wouldn’t be adequate. We’re not perfect; yet it’s irresistibly ideal. Valentine’s day was just what the doctor would have ordered for a bad case of stress. It wasn’t because of the flowers, notes, dinner, or presents. Those materials were just the cherry on top of a handsome man who knows how romantically articulate his emotions on an ever so often occasion. It’s like my dad towards my mother. A true anecdote of romance; a true vivid and wildly imperfect BLESSING.

There’s one more. My senses. While recently visiting Santa Monica Pier, I took a moment just to appreciate my senses. What I heard was soothing. What I saw was magical. What I smelled was welcoming and powerful. What I tasted was salty. What I felt was tenderness. It’s the little senses that we take for granite each and every day. Although I’ve taken the time now to sit and appreciate, I spend the majority of my time letting stress and frustration get the better part of me. It’s revitalizing to share, energizing for the soul.

Psalm 67:1-2
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.

Really,

Kates.


PS: Andy and Nicole's 80's birthday bash this weekend. so exciting!




What are your blessings?

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