Ever since New Years I have been thinking about new and old "things" that I want to change this year. As most of the population, people are dieting, getting makeovers, and creating some sort of self renewal. I always try to set ambitious resolutions but they always seem to fade within a few weeks. So, this year I'm trying to focus in a more direct, positive, and detailed manner. January 1st is the beginning of 2008 but no different than any other day. I'm pushing myself to continue making goals and resolutions all year long. I'm not promising anything but sharing the changes I seek mentally seems to be helping...
So, with that here's a little of what is on my mind. The year 2007 was a huge roller coaster. Filled with tears, joy, and well...a year of learning. I made many drastic moves, choices, and focused quite a bit on myself. This year, I am really going to try and put others first. I have spent a good part of my life thinking what Katie wants. At the peak of my selfish moments I have hurt others, damaged my own self esteem, and unfortunately lost some friendships. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to admit it, but I find freedom in declaring my flaws. They say the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem right? Welp, I admit I can be very selfish! Those close to me and anyone willing to encourage help me work on this! Not only do I wish to put friends and family first, but strangers as well. An extra smile, surprise gift, or simple act of kindness to those I do not know goes along with putting others first. Community service is so fulfilling to me and actually very easy. As much as I wish I could fly overseas again it is just not feasible right now. But, help is needed even in the 702. So this year, I am attempting to help what lies in my own backyard. Still a task, but strangers are easy for me; sadly, the people I care the most about seemed to be the most pushed aside. Thus the need for change....now.
OK what else? Reaching out. Forgiving. Mending broken relationships. Every person I know has been hurt or is hurting from a broken relationship. Myself included. In the past few years I have had many people come and go. I believe it involves the realistic transition from high school to college, teen to adulthood. Nevertheless, losing valuable relationships sucks. Its reality that you aren't going to be friends with everyone but one can't use that as an excuse to pave the road of rocky relationships. Friendship editing can be healthy but that is not my focus. My focus is simply being a better friend and mending the broken pieces in friendships that are lacking in the "friend" area. This goes along with my selfishness and is something that needs improvement. No friendship is perfect and not one person is always to blame. But as for me and myself, I know I am capable of being a better friend thus the need for change...now. Friends please be patient with me :]
Another goal is continuing checking off things from my list of things to do before I die. Newly named my "Bucket List" since I saw the movie. I started my list along time ago but Africa felt damn good to check off. It renewed my inspiration and I don't want to lost sight of that. Like I have in the past, I refuse to go another year without checking some "do's" off. Who knows... tomorrow might be the last! Let's live for today people and start now!
That is plenty for now. I hope to have many "New Year's" throughout 2008. Every day is the start of a new year thus the need for change... now.
On you will go
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak
-Dr. Seuss
