When God Winks

Today is a wonderful day. Regardless of my hours of homework, chem class, and dreadful workout, today is and will be a wonderful day.



I must admit I probably had the best winter break I have ever had. I did nothing besides play cards, drink yummy beer, and lounge with people I love. I can't remember having days in a row where there was nothing important that had to get done. I wouldn't want a life of laziness but my goodness it was wonderful for few weeks!!



The New Year is always an exciting time for me. It means all over the world people are thinking about goals. Whether or not they pursue them who knows but its awesome to know that people are out there thinking about positive life change. As I said last year, every day could and should be a day of change. I can honestly say that I did focus on that last year and so many amazing opportunities came my way. However, I still could work harder and will do it this year!



For family that doesn't know... I made the Dean's list!! All that hard worked paid off.. woo hoo!!

That was a definite goal and it felt damn good to complete it. And, mel graduated from nursing school.. sooo jealous yet soooo proud!



So lately I have been thinking about the power of coincidence. I may have talked about it a while ago but there is this book and its called When God Winks. I highly recommend to anyone of any faith. I changed my life and I will continue to always share this with people. This book is about coincidence and the power behind it. The authors main message is "If you were God, and couldn't be seen, couldn't be heard, and couldn't touched, how would you speak to people?" Especially non believers or people that see coincidence as weird experiences that appear ironic. BUT, the author describes a coincidence as a God wink. Obviously I can't write and explain the whole idea right now but it is awesome. It gives purpose to everything we do and it helps us feel like we are in the right place at the right time. He says that every coincidence is planned.. there is no such thing as a coincidence. So every time you say "Isn't that so weird, what are the chances of that happening" There is a deeper meaning for why that occured. So he suggests writing them down whenever you find yourself saying that. This prevents forgetting it and later you can recap. There is always an end to a story and so many coincidences are left completely unanswered. Now before I read this book, I never exercised any thought to this strange realm of weird happenings. I never really thought much about coincidences. Truthfully, I never even paid attention to them past the 2 minutes it happened. But after, let me tell you it was almost creepy. I noticed so much more. Here's one of the greatest examples of a God Wink for me...



OK so I was in Tanzania at the time, It about a month into my trip when Luke called me one morning. (Him calling was always exciting since communication was hard but this was especially exciting!) He said that a kid from Africa goes to his school. He heard him talking in the cafeteria and hes pretty sure hes from Tanzania. Now people, first of all, Luke's school has about 2300 kids TOTAL. It's smaller than my own high school. Second, it is very very difficult to come to America if you are from Africa. Third, do you know how big Africa is and how many people live there? The chances of someone being from Africa at Luke's school is crazy but actually the same country that I was in?? It was so strange. Anyway.. so I told him he must talk to him and find out more. I was so excited. So about two weeks later I get this phone call at 5 am my time. It was luke saying he has someone that wants to talk to me. It was this kid! We started talking and I was able to speak Swahili with him. I started asking him where he was from within the country and I almost dropped the phone. I was in the exact town he was from. I mean what?? While we were 12000 miles apart, I was in his hometown. It was so ironic. So we exchanged emails and sure enough one week later I was sitting having coffee with his brother in Arusha, Tanzania. Throughout my trip I spent a lot of time with his family; there were sooo sooo good to me. I ate dinner with them on my last night and was so humbled but the compassion of this family. Now, that is a fricken God Wink. There is no way I can think that was an accident. Not only did it confirm emotions for Luke, but it closed all my insecurities about my trip. Without a doubt I knew I was falling in love with the right person, and I knew that trip was all part of this huge growing experience for me. I was on the right path.



Well this is getting so long. The reason I even brought it up was since this book, the big and little things pop out. My living situation as changed and it was a difficult transition. But there was a God Wink throughout it all and that is why today is a wonderful day.



Approach today with a wide open heart.





amani,

k

sometimes untitled is just so fitting.

I can hardly believe this semester is coming to an end. I think a mix of stress, PMS, and transitioning into next semester is causing me to be quite emotional. Whenever change happens I go through this thought process and recall and condition all my experiences. Well, this semester was a great experience. It made me recognize so much about where my life is headed and also forced me to revisit some past hurts. When I left, I didn't realize how much was left behind. Filtering the bad relationships, places, and internal emotions was the best thing I ever did. It was something that I never truly had control over. I wanted everything to work out with no feelings hurt. Is that real life? Never. Finally, I learned that I actually can have control of my life and love myself in the process. That in fact is the best realization...ever.

Now, I am stressed about finals, moving, Christmas gifts, and anything else that chooses to pop up. However, I was blessed with great gifts at my pi phi christmas party. It was very merry and I appreciate all the love spread.

I don't really know what else to share. I just needed a break from math so I lit my candle, raised the tunes, and just sat. My mood is just blah. However, I'm praying for the heartbroken....

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is no end."

Face of Love

Well Hello from good ol windy reno. It's a lovely day! Let me tell you I have been sooo stressed out this week. Test after test and speech after speech. I can finally say...I DONE! Well, for this week anyway, but hell yeah!

I am in a very chipper mood. I just tuned into my Christmas collection. It's crazy how much this music brings back soooo many memories. Good bad happy sad nonetheless, memories. One year ago I was teaching Christmas carols to cute little african kids. Oh how i miss that. I tried uploading a video but it wouldn't work.

So after reading my journal from Africa, I looked at what I did exactly a year ago. It didn't say much besides many things I am thankful for. My favorite was thank you for letting be me someone to somebody. I remember feeling that way. Now, being back and getting caught up in the stupid stuff again, I realize that I am still given the opportunity to be someone to somebody. I am somebody to many people. How cool! But am I thankful for that? Not since a year ago. Shame on me. Truly, shame on me. We as selfish people and can be somebody EVERYDAY and place.

• This will be my though for the week and maybe if you're reading this you can join me. Let's ask ourselves: Who am I for that person? What can I do to be better for that stranger I see everyday, or my sisters I talked to daily, or family, or old friends. What somebody am I to myself?

Cheesy deep... ya ya ya. It cures me, get over it!

I have a piphi dance tomorrow yeeeaahhh!! The theme is glam rock.. im stoked! Luke arrives this evening, and then the parrtayyy begins!

Love you all. Cheers to Julie in the place I wish I was! love you girrrrl!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself:

everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

holy crap.

Holy crap it has been one year since I was in Africa. I can hardly believe how fast time goes by. I haven't written in soooooooooooooooo long. Not that anyone really cares but I am dissappointed in myself. Although I have my own personal journals and ways of expressing myself, I think it is important for family to know what is going on. Now I assure you my life isn't near as exciting as it was a year ago, but I'm still loving it right????

So, where to start? I spent a semester and summer at home in Vegas. And now, I am back in Reno. It was a VERY quick decision but I'm very happy with it. I basically just came back to finish my senior year in Pi Phi. It's been amazing and a very positive healing experience! I will tell all about it later but quite frankly, I'm just not in the mood to write right now! But please check back because I WILL be sharing much more of MAH LIFE to those who are interested.

toodles.

mah love.

Earlier this evening I arrived back home from a wonderful weekend in California. Visiting Luke, hanging out with my cousins, and playing football on the beach; who can complain right? It was refreshing :]

Ever since New Years I have been thinking about new and old "things" that I want to change this year. As most of the population, people are dieting, getting makeovers, and creating some sort of self renewal. I always try to set ambitious resolutions but they always seem to fade within a few weeks. So, this year I'm trying to focus in a more direct, positive, and detailed manner. January 1st is the beginning of 2008 but no different than any other day. I'm pushing myself to continue making goals and resolutions all year long. I'm not promising anything but sharing the changes I seek mentally seems to be helping...

So, with that here's a little of what is on my mind. The year 2007 was a huge roller coaster. Filled with tears, joy, and well...a year of learning. I made many drastic moves, choices, and focused quite a bit on myself. This year, I am really going to try and put others first. I have spent a good part of my life thinking what Katie wants. At the peak of my selfish moments I have hurt others, damaged my own self esteem, and unfortunately lost some friendships. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to admit it, but I find freedom in declaring my flaws. They say the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem right? Welp, I admit I can be very selfish! Those close to me and anyone willing to encourage help me work on this! Not only do I wish to put friends and family first, but strangers as well. An extra smile, surprise gift, or simple act of kindness to those I do not know goes along with putting others first. Community service is so fulfilling to me and actually very easy. As much as I wish I could fly overseas again it is just not feasible right now. But, help is needed even in the 702. So this year, I am attempting to help what lies in my own backyard. Still a task, but strangers are easy for me; sadly, the people I care the most about seemed to be the most pushed aside. Thus the need for change....now.

OK what else? Reaching out. Forgiving. Mending broken relationships. Every person I know has been hurt or is hurting from a broken relationship. Myself included. In the past few years I have had many people come and go. I believe it involves the realistic transition from high school to college, teen to adulthood. Nevertheless, losing valuable relationships sucks. Its reality that you aren't going to be friends with everyone but one can't use that as an excuse to pave the road of rocky relationships. Friendship editing can be healthy but that is not my focus. My focus is simply being a better friend and mending the broken pieces in friendships that are lacking in the "friend" area. This goes along with my selfishness and is something that needs improvement. No friendship is perfect and not one person is always to blame. But as for me and myself, I know I am capable of being a better friend thus the need for change...now. Friends please be patient with me :]

Another goal is continuing checking off things from my list of things to do before I die. Newly named my "Bucket List" since I saw the movie. I started my list along time ago but Africa felt damn good to check off. It renewed my inspiration and I don't want to lost sight of that. Like I have in the past, I refuse to go another year without checking some "do's" off. Who knows... tomorrow might be the last! Let's live for today people and start now!

That is plenty for now. I hope to have many "New Year's" throughout 2008. Every day is the start of a new year thus the need for change... now.

On you will go

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak

-Dr. Seuss

No place like home

Wow...I don't really know where to start. It has been way too long since I have last written. As most of you know, I am back home... safe and sound. Missing Africa and the children with all my heart but comforted by the smells, sounds, and feelings of home...

To wrap up the end of my trip in this one blog would be difficult. Saying goodbye to the children, leaving my home away from home, and experiencing such closure was difficult to say the least. Once I left Living Water I endulged in a mini vacation in Zanzibar. Zanzibar is a tiny tropical island of the coast of East Africa. Stunning, quiet, and absolutely serene. Sleeping in stilted huts, sun bathing in hammocks, and swimming with wild dolphins in the Indian Ocean is something I never envisioned 4 months ago. It was the perfect end to a long journey.

Now, being back home has been challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love America but my goodness it was/is quite overwhelming to be back in the western world. I was in complete culture shock arriving in Africa; however, the shock on the return journey has been worse. Maybe it was because it was right before Christmas but the commotion and concerns of most the the people I observed were far from what I came from. I'm guitly too. My concerns were the same before I left. Hopefully, I can find an even balance between the two worlds; a lifestyle formed from two opposite, diverse cultures.

It is hard to believe that my Africa adventure is over and done with. Well, not "done" but my physical presence in that continent is gone. My trip was so anticipated. For months beforehand I was preparing for it; my whole life was altered prior to the actual departure date. Looking back and now looking forward I'm focusing on staying on two feet.

Going to Africa was the best choice I have ever made. All my concerns, worries, anxieties before were well worth the growth that happened within myself. As a human I struggle. I still will just like everyone else. However, I have finally reached the confidence in myself to acknowledge a struggle, consider my options, and put one foot in front of the other. I'm sick of playing the role as a victim. Everyone has hardships; everyone hurts. The second I started living my life not feeling like I was constantly under attack and quick to blame others, I actually started living again. It was a neccessary awakening and has profoundly changed my life, relationships, and love towards people. I'm so very thankful for the patient people, and the not so patient people. Ironically, all the missing puzzle pieces are slowing coming together...

I will continue to write on here as often as I feel. For now, I am Kates in Vegas. I will start school again in January while I am preparing for my next travel abroad...coming this fall! Please pray for my transition back to real life. It has taken quite the adjustment and I still have a long "journey" when entering reality again. Also, pray that I maintain the humility and surrendering lifestyle that I so badly want to keep. It's easier to be as "katie" as I want to be when I am away so I am searching for the courage to simply maintain. I want to live for others not myself; I truly believe there is no greater fulfillment.

Thank you to those who believed in me. Thank more for those who did not.

I have a burden to share my story. It is difficult because some people see my self expression as an act of selfishness, "look at me and my great deeds" kind of persona. The truth is far from that. As humans we are given the opportunity to find security and create an unending inspiration to overcome; I strongly hope that others will search within and simply invite change to take place. I needed to love myself before I could envision loving others. As for me and myself, I am completly surrendering my life, my story, my future...

May you have a safe, spontaneous, and joyful New Year.

mimi nina omwa sana!!

Whoa! It has been awhile! I have good and bad news. I'll start with the bad. I HAVE MALARIA! Its sucks...bad! To make light of my poor condition I have written a really ridiculous, cheesy, and silly poem:

I'm not a very good poet so I could be wasting your time,
I'm sick as a dog in bed so I thought I'd bust a rhyme!



You see I have malaria and it's not a pretty sight,
don't worry I won't die so excuse your possible fright.



I've got the migraines and the fevers too,
also the body aches, dizziness, and really runny poo.



I think I forgot to mention the cold sore on my face,
I swear those parasites are eating me like it's a fricken race!



I know I'm really disgusting for sharing my poor state,
Good thing I'm in Africa not worrying 'bout a date!



This is an addition to "You know you are in Africa when",
I have so many others from places I have already been!



This definitely tops the charts of "adventures" while I'm here,
I can't take much more, thank goodness the end is near!



I hope you get a kick out of this cuz it's helping me feel better,
Hop on a plane to Africa and let's suffer together!!



I've shed some tears and laughed a lot,
"Hakuna Matata" is what I've been taught.



No need to worry, no need to fret,
I'll be better in no time on that I would bet.



It's good to make light of the things you can't control,
If life wasn't challenging it would be so very dull!!



I need to stop before I make a bigger fool,
I have Malaria people and it really isn't cool!!!

So, yeah. I knew it was a risk coming here but didn't really hope for it! I was much more afraid of it in America. Now that I am here, its part of every day life. The doctor think I got it in Dar es Salaam. That was my first week here! I was tested my 3rd week but the results were negative. As unfortunate as it is, I am glad I finally know what has been making me sick. The meds are working great and I am finally improving! No need to worry anymore Mom and Dad! :)

Moving on! I have been at Living Water for the past week and a half. Last week was great! VERY busy and exhausting but really really wonderful! There are 32 children at the center. We did so much. Last week was there last week of school so we were preparing them for the closing day party. It was great fun! We taught them two Christmas songs. It was very strange because its summer here. I just don't feel like it is the holidays! I'm actually just going to bullet point some things I did to make this shorter.

- carried more cow poop on my head for the garden and planted loads of vegetables
-canoed around Lake Deluti. The water was pee green but the surrounding areas were really pretty
-went to maasai camp and danced!
-played loads of soccer and volleyball with the kids
-read, colored, entertained the children!
-ate banana bread and watched Finding Nemo
-learned African "hip-hop" and was sore for days
-spent all night baking cookies and making fresh juice for the party

The party was interesting! The two volunteers and I had to do an African dance, dressed as Africans, singing in Swahili for the children! I have it on video but I am embarrassed to show it! haha it was quite humorous and the kids loved it. Good fun. The kids also performed! The school choir sang, danced, and even did a drama. It was so entertaining!!!

Then Saturday night I got sick and Sunday I went to the hospital. Then these last four days I have been relaxing and sleeping quite a bit. I think these meds make me a little delusional so I will probably re-read this and laugh at what I am saying!

This is my last weekend in Arusha! I seriously don't know where the time went! I leave Africa in 12 days.. insane! I go to Zanzibar on the 12Th and then home! Pray that I am better because I am really looking forward to laying on the beach and delighting in a mini vacation!

Thank you everyone for all the support! I am looking forward to my return and sharing all my adventures!

PEACE,

katie koo