Kates is getting hitched!

Thirst.

2011-08-05T18:21:00.000-07:00

There’s something tapping. There’s a knock; each time I attempt to greet the hammering echo, I can only grasp emptiness. I am certain something vast is lingering, I just do not know what it is. It’s creating a mystery and curiosity that is flowing through me similar to a rushing river. I can’t find the beginning or the end, but I hear it, and it’s alive.

I believe this river of mine has been flowing for years. The ebb and flow is similar to the ocean tide. It’s clean, then dirty, cloudy, then clear. It’s traveling over smooth and rough terrain shifting speeds and turning corners. It’s got a hunger to trek through mountains and meadows leaving heavy rocks behind yet pushing tiny pebbles forward. This river of mine is like an itch I can’t scratch. I know it exists I just can’t reach it.

Quite the dramatic intro, I know, but it’s sincere. Of course, there is no river flowing through me, (besides the occasional times I’ve peed my pants), but there is something brewing and growing within my head, heart, and soul. There are things I want to do and places I want to see that move beyond where I am right now. The most frustrating part is that I’m the only one aware, and still feeling clueless.

Let’s dissect what I do know and search for truth and evidence. This authentic feeling directly relates to my profession and hobbies. Although I am still new, I’m learning to love to teach and get pleasure from feeling proud, needed, and productive. I enjoy the diverse community, I savor the warm tender feelings of watching a kid understand fractions for the first time, and I find the constant sound of little laughs irresistible. I envision myself teaching for quite some time. However, I see teacher and _______ defining me. I have this ache. This hammering echo. This rushing river. This desperate volcano. Whatever THIS is, is beginning to surface; I’m vulnerably grasping to find the safe doorway in the midst of an earthquake. My adrenalin is pumping and I’m LOVING the rush.

Come and get me.

wifeliness.

2011-08-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

Dear great wives,

Wifeliness. Webster says it's not a word—he’s crazy. Allow me to explain. Being a schoolteacher allows me to spend hours upon hours in the summertime doing what ever I please. Sounds great, right? It is, however, I’ve been overtaken but this thing called, hmmm a wife! Considering I’ve only been a wife for a short 18 days, I’m exhausted. For those of you that know me closely, I’ve been very blessed. Here’s why- I married a man whose very good-looking, athletic, loves God, and he’s witty, but I also married a man who cooks, cleans, does laundry, cleans my car, takes out the garbage, scrubs the toilets, sweeps the floors, irons, gets the mail, locks the door at night, helps with the groceries, and kisses me ever so softly on the nose when he’s finished. Yeah, I know, dream come true! It seems wonderful, (and it is), but it’s left me quizzical. What do I possibly contribute to this marriage?

So, as I was prepping for my wedding day, I was also trying to prepare for becoming a wife. Most normal women seem to transition so smoothly, but I’m anything but normal, so they say. Let’s face it, I knew being a wife (for me) would be a lot of burnt dinners, shrunken clothes, and unpaid bills. I also knew that Luke would sit back, relax, and admire my struggle while thinking it’s cute. I’m here to tell you, that is exactly what’s happening in the Gum’s residence.

Nonetheless, since we’ve been married, I’ve been a cooking, cleaning, and laundry-doing fanatic! I love being Luke’s wife because there is no pressure, but I’ve exhausted myself; it’s a hard job! I’ve looked at more cook books and cooking blogs than I ever have in my life. I sweep our floors every day and still manage to find crumbs. I’ve learned which clothes of his need to be hand washed, hang dried, and washed on a delicate cycle. I’ve made our bed everyday, hung pictures, killed ants, and even bought his favorite beer! When I hear the keys outside the door, I do a few jumping jacks (no joke) to seem alert and wide awake to greet him after a long day of work. Of course, a great wife can’t slave all day and be tired!

Great wives, how do you do it?!

Throughout all my tiresome trying to find my wifeliness, I’ve learned so much about unconditional love. The other day Luke and I were getting ready and he said, “Katie, can I tell you something”? My palms grew sweaty, and I got a lump in my throat because I was terrified that he was going to admit to not liking my dinners. My voice quivered and I said, “Yeah…” He walked closer towards me and softly worded, “I want to say that I love you, and you have been doing an amazing job around the house. Nothing has gone unnoticed.” In that moment, I let my guard down, hugged my husband, and said with a large smile, “Thanks.” He knew, and I knew, how much that token of kindness meant to me.

Marriage is awesome. I highly recommend it.

Blissfully exhausted,

A not-so-perfect new wife

soon to come.

The now.

2011-06-26T14:31:00.001-07:00

I’m getting married. I’m getting married. Yes, I am getting MARRIED. We’re less than three weeks away and the emotions and feelings are effortless; they flow so freely. Happy, sad, overwhelmed, and overjoyed, they come frequent and quickly. Every married person I have spoken to has said to sit back, and ENJOY this time. Everything is moving so quickly around me, it’s hard to just marvel. However, this quiet Sunday afternoon has allowed me to just sit, think, pray, and cry.

As my glasses fogged over a steamy cup of hazelnut coffee, I re-read my own words. My tippy toes pressed heavily on the stepladder as I reached for my dusty old journals. I flipped through the pages laughing, crying, admiring, and wondering. Some pages felt mysterious, some pages felt painful, and some pages felt foreign. My own writing served as a witness shouting evidence of who I was, am, and will be. The flashback was a still moment; just what I needed, right married people?

I don’t think looking in the past is what most married people meant when they said to enjoy this time. But friends listen closely, THE PAST IS WHAT GOT ME HERE. The HERE is three weeks away from becoming a wife, marrying Luke, and starting new chapters. I just can’t, and won’t, only bring the current Katie into my marriage. The best part of marrying Luke is bringing ALL of Katie, the past and present. With greasy hair and un-brushed teeth (ewww) I’ve re-read my intricate testimony filled with so many surrendering prayers and wishes. Being still has allowed me to realize how many prayers have been answered over the years, and how many times I failed to recognize the answer.

Now, I’m noticing and oh so thankful. Now, I’m reminded of the old, and thankful for the new. Isn’t that cool?! I mean life is always one big fat adventure. We’re constantly exploring, learning, and growing. Miraculously, it will never stop because we have a God who adores us and wants us to have the adventure. It’s just so awesome. I think it is wise to re-visit the good and enjoy the bad. It’s refreshing to see where I was, and gives me hope to where I am going. I’m a thrill-seeker. Bring it on, baby!

So much of my writing, talks about my “future husband”. It’s so amazing to fill in all the blanks! The journey started long ago, and it’s one that will never end. Re-reading the beginning of my engagement story on my blog allowed me to once again recharge.

“As a little girl with a theatrical imagination, my love story began long ago in a far away land. I still treasure my innocent memories of embracing my stuffed monkey dreaming, hopelessly romanticizing, that he was my prince charming who longed to rescue me from the wicked castle (which was really my wooden loft that my dad built for me). My childish artistry of playing house and baby dolls came naturally; the deep seeded passion to love and be loved existed not only as a 6 year old in an enchanted land, but followed me to this very moment. The moment I said YES.”

My next very moment, is the moment I say “I DO”. But, that moment is not here yet. Thank you married people, for the advice and encouragement. I am enjoying the now and soaking in every delicate detail. I’m enjoying the planning, crafting, song-choosing experience. I woke up with butterflies just thinking about walking down the aisle with my Dad. I’m still a little girl dreaming, except now I’m romanticizing hopefully. AMEN to that.

French fries.

2011-06-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Ever cleaned out your car and found a rock hard McDonalds French fry underneath the drivers seat wedged in between the seat and the center console? You suddenly remember dropping it months ago greasy fingered thinking, “I really should try to find that”, but you don’t. Instead, you let it sit, harden, and collect fuzz. All along you know it’s there across every high way, dirt road, and parking lot your wheels have turned on. You’re conscience self is aware that when you finally take time to clean, you’ll capture that stinkin’ French fry that you abandoned months prior. Then alas when you finally clean the contamination from beneath the sunken driver’s seat, your life feels slightly clearer, purer, and free. All because of a fry.

Well folks, I’m taking time to clean, taking time to capture something that I’ve dropped long ago. Writing, blogging, thinking. So my analogy may have stunk like a skunk, and my writing ability may not have required greasy fingers and plummeting French fries, it did however, require time and cleaning that I couldn’t or didn’t offer myself. Now, it’s time. Time to clean. Time to search for my fries.

So here I sit. 29 days away from making the biggest decision of my life. Committing myself before God, family, and friends, to my very best friend, Luke. WOW! Getting married is possibly the most fun, exciting, nerve-wracking shin-dig ever to exist. Brides, how did you keep it together?!

I must be honest. Those who have read and followed my thoughts moons ago know that my writing requires emotion. It lacks serious zest if forced; which I why I should have been writing the last 7 months. I haven’t been able to find the energy! Why? Why have I allowed myself to be stretched so thin that my one escape is shoved deep inside my own Pandora’s box. I’ve been scared to open it. There you go, I said it. I’ve been scared.

I can almost hear the gasps as your eyes read the text. Let’s clarify, am I scared to marry Luke? No way, Jose. I’m eager. However, fear has once again revealed itself full force, and it’s time I expose it. It’s time I take the power away from Satan and surrender it to God.

Fear is so…commanding. In my existence, fear has been suffocating. It’s ironic that I have “fear not” delicately tattooed on my upper shoulder; it just goes to show that having fear is seems to be habitual for me, a constant struggle. Every time life becomes overwhelming, fear seems to knock at my door, and eventually it busts right in and robs me of all vivacity.

Lately I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid of failing as a good wife, I’m afraid of feeling beautiful on my wedding day, I’m afraid of Luke driving home after work in case he gets in an accident, I’m afraid of hurting friendships just by being busy, I’m afraid of forgetting to lock the car door or the front door, I’m afraid of messing up at work, and most of all, I’M AFRIAD OF BEING AFRAID. What a terrible way to live, right?!

After months of venting, exploding, and brutal honesty to my mother, she recently surprised me with the book “Battlefield of the Mind”, by Joyce Meyer. With in the first chapter the pages reveal the normalcy of negative thoughts and strongholds we are up against. Meyers uncovers Satan’s deceit and strategy to place on the battlefield and beat you down. She discusses our enemy’s slow and deliberate plan that causes a war; a war that no one wants to confess but rather shove deep away and pretend it’s not there.

Although I’ve just started the book, it was a revelation that woke me. I’m not crazy! I do indeed have a Lord that is crazy about me. The more I slow down, pray, and rely on him, the less French fries I have stuffed underneath my driver’s seat. Can I hear an AMEN?!

So friends, I urge you to open your own Pandora’s box. The book of Isaiah says, "Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you” -Isaiah 35:4. The book of Joel says, "Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things” -Joel 2:21. Why live another minute in fear? My white flag is the only thing flying freely on the battlefield. I have surrendered, and so should you. Now go, and find your French fries.

<3 Katie

ps: Stay tuned! Wedding goodies soon to come!

pink and roll. SPORTS EDITION.

2010-12-07T12:55:00.000-08:00

Current tunes: ESPN Radio The Scott Van Pelt Show

It's obvious I live with a man. Not just a man but a sports fanatic man. Sports, sports, did I mention sports? I've learned that there is a trade off; he makes my eggs, if he gets to listen to sports while standing over the skillet. It's all about the compromise, right?

When I think maybe he burnt the toast, really he's just upset that the Chiefs are down, or excited that the Rebels are still 8-0. It could be good, or bad, it's still this deep down Tim Allen sort of growl or belch or yelp. When I think he's listening, he's really just staring at me counting stats, and, I sound like Charlie Brown to his ears. He thinks he's cute when he mumbles, "Yes, Love, I understand." HA. I'm no fool, dude, I know your tactics all too well.

I mean, I like sports, I do! I like to look at Erin Andrews apparel, and I have to brag I do know what a pink and roll is, opps, I mean a pick and roll. And, I must confess, I do stand up from time to time, pound my chest, and yell, "Get big son!!!", when I see a nice tackle. (I learned that from Luke). I've learned to mock the sportscasters (especially Dick Vitale, "Awesome baby, with a capital A!"), laugh with Mike and Mike in the morning, or get rowdy watching PTI.

However, no joke, first thing in the morning, or the last thing before bed, it's SPORTS. The computer automatically opens ESPN when I start my safari. Our conversation Tuesday morning begins with the winning spread or the BSC bowl predictions. I'm jealous of Lebron James; not because of his mad talent, but my fiance has a major man crush. I mean really, you know there is a problem when Luke said we weren't allowed to get married in March because the reception could interfere with the March Madness mayhem.

When we lived in the states, I thought basketball, football, baseball, UFC, golf, soccer, and any olympic sport was enough to keep him occupied. NOW, my dear love has a new interest in hurling, rugby, gaelic football, and soccer, in addition to the American sports. HELP!

I really can't complain though; he doesn't get upset when I blush over Tom Brady or drool when David Beckham removes his jersey. We enjoy drinking beer and eating brats (especially cheesy spicy ones!). He makes me feel like I'm "one of the guys", even if I don't know what a two-minute drill is. We enjoy creating touch down dances and watching the ESPN Make a Wish Foundation videos. We buy jerseys for each other at Christmas, and get giddy when we know we are attending a sporting event. I have a confession: I pretend like I'm not interested, but sometimes I yell louder than he does on the couch, or as of late, while watching game cast.

Fun Fact: Luke just informed me that Lebron makes 35,ooo bills in 8 minutes of play. I will make that in one year of teaching. REALLY?!

Oh my, this was fun. As much as I make fun of his obsession, it's one of my favorite things about him. Luke, thanks for teaching me, being patient, and thinking I'm cute when I'm clueless. You're as cool as the other side of the pillow.

Ps: Chiefs haven't locked up their division yet; I guess we'll have to keep wearing our rally caps.

-ka ka ka KATIE.

playing ketchup.

2010-12-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

slide. slip. boom. crack. ouch.

That was the sound of me slipping on the ice. Twice. It's cold in Ireland and everything is frozen; my toes, and the sidewalk. I fell twice and nearly 100 other times. Luckily, Luke was holding me for one of the occurrences but the other, I was ALL alone on my way to work. It was one of those tumbles that you cannot recover, although, I still tried. Have you ever had one of those that you are so embarrassed that you try and immediately stand up and play it cool? Well, it's not so simple on ICE. The slip happened so fast, but the recovery felt eternal. Of course, it had to be when people were around! Why!? The poor mom walking her dog did a double take when she heard me shriek, "aahhhhhhhhhhhhh", as I was trying to prevent a bellyflop. Did I mention she was across the road and apparently still heard my boots shifting on the road like ice skates? She kindly eased her way the the other sidewalk and managed to shout across traffic, "Sweetie, are you okay?". I was as red as a ripe tomato, my ears grew hot, and I embarrassingly enough felt the lump in my throat and petite tears were starting to surface. I waved from the ground to signal I was okay. What I really wanted to say was, "Yes LADY, I'm fine! Now keep walking like you never saw it!" And, I wanted to give her a different hand gesture, but I refrained. It wasn't her fault, but at that moment, she annoyed me. Sorry nice lady...

Anyway, I stood up, and gathered my composure. I attempted to neglect the throb in my tailbone, the sharp pain in my shoulder, and most of all, the pure embarrassment that made me hot. Then I was off to teach pimply teenagers.

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Thanksgiving: Ireland Style

Thanksgiving was eventful and abundant. We were delighted to share this special day with Luke's parents who so generously flew out here to visit, and Amy (the other student teacher). The entire time Luke's parents were here felt like a vacation for us, too! I wonder how many times I said thank you? A LOT.

While Luke's parents were here we did so much chatting, guinness gulping, and card playing. It was 10 perfect days; adventurous, relaxing, and most of all, loving. Hugging them this time was different; it was permanent and parental. THANKS MARK AND ROXY FOR LOVING ME.

(and Luke, too)

I hope everyone had a perky day of thanks, as well.

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Transitions: hmmmph.

Okay, here's the gist. We've been characters in a fairy tale and the fable is almost coming to an end. Except, this is no fiction. It's been pure reality; a real dream come true. I wish I could say I don't want to wake up, but I'm already awake, alive, and alert, to my surroundings; it's simple, I don't want it to end. The expiration date it approaching and I'm flooded with internal commotion. hmmmph.

I'll do my best to help you understand but, I'm having difficulty even verbalizing it. I've got one foot in and one foot out. I'm living in the past, and in the future. I'm happy and sad. I'm anxious and calm. I'm just one big fat oxymoron. Hmmmph.

We left Las Vegas August 5th. December 21st we arrive again. We leave Galway, Ireland December 12th. One week, and one day. I say goodbye to my students and staff on the 10th. I graduate college on the 14th. Then we're off to London and Berlin. Then we get married July 15, 2011. Jobs, accommodation, birthdays, weddings, babies, and goodbyes. I'm struggling to digest the commotion. Hmmmph.

This classic short story has been a fantasy; it's created a melodramatic cliffhanger for the rest of our adventures to come.

Stick around for the next 80 years to read the whole saga!

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A quick visual recap of our travels thus far.

One last week. One London Trip. One Berlin trip.

More to come.

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wrap it up.

I had full intentions of writing much much more but I want to keep some discreet. Today, after eating our usual curry at the market, Luke went to work. I picked up some goodies for our last week at the store, and set sail for home. The day was beautiful: brisk, clear, and peaceful. I took the oceanside walk and turned up my IPOD. I didn't want to choose who to listen to, so I let shuffle decide for me. As I was walking, I was so happy and so sad. It goes back to my transition post (you know, the whole oxymoron thing). I was feeling; feeling all sorts of things. But for the most part, I was feeling happy. I approached "the rock", the spot Luke proposed at. It's a beautiful spot and seemed so fitting to my mood to go sit on the bench. So, groceries in hand, I sat on the bench, let shuffle make my decisions for me,

and I wept.

My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude and Jesus knew it.

It was my savior and me, and so much more.

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my treasure!

Ok. We weren't going to buy my ring in Ireland because the exchange rate sucks booty. However, I stumbled upon this beauty unexpectantely at a darling vintage store and I just knew I couldn't leave with out it. I sadly parted with my temporary ring but excitedly bonded with my new vintage treasure. Thank you thank you love!

I took these on the bench today.

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peace and love from the Galway Bay,

katie

it's coming.

2010-11-29T23:15:00.000-08:00

Okay peeps, sorry for no bloggage lately. Luke's parents came to visit and I'm preparing to finish up with school. I PROMISE, it will arrive pronto. Pictures, too!

In the mean time, It's almost December 1st; it's almost Christmas!

"God of hope, you are a light in my darkness, a relief in my fear, my hope for a better world. Thank you for your promises kept and promises to come. Amen."

kates

Katie in the Kitchen, EEK!

2010-11-12T09:43:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl (I’m still a little girl so this still applies), I wake up with urgency. A need in which should I choose not to satisfy, I cannot function. Those around me know it, and go into hiding until they know my need has been satisfied. The world around me is colorless until my slippers cross the perimeter of the cooking room; also known as the kitchen. For then my green eyes grow larger and colors begin to exist again because I KNOW that the growl will soon calm. When the toaster beeps signaling the wheat bread is now toasty, and the two egg whites sizzle communicating to me it’s time to terminate, I’m happy. You know why? Because it’s time to eat.

Okay, here’s the deal. I’m a foodie; a major one. I think about my next meal as I’m half way through to one in front of me. I love food!

I didn’t always know I loved food; I just thought I loved not being hungry. Of course, I loved a tasty meal, when I made the time for it, but that was rare. I tried to be healthy (not when I was younger, I just loved anything salty and terrible for me), but every effort to be healthy caused resentment towards healthiness. The lack of salt, portions, and sweets was enough to make me binge worse than I would have if I never deprived my poor tummy in the first place. So, eating what I thought was “healthy” never lasted long; it was always a let down.

Since I’ve been in Ireland, life has slowed down, a lot. It’s the first time I’ve made efforts to cook consistently. I’ve searched beyond my egg whites and occasional chicken and broccoli. I’ve found myself copying recipe books I find at school, researching spices, and even attempting baking. I’ve found great delight in fresh foods, color, and incredible textures. In the past, I was too impatient for cooking. However, this new hobby has created a new Katie, a more domesticated one, too!

So, I’m making it public, I love to cook! I’m a new cuisinier, (my spell check is telling me this isn’t a word, but I’m still using it. Booyah Webster!). Sorry for the crassness but I feel my cooking virginity has just been taken from me, and oh baby, it’s euphoric! However, I’m lacking experience. My life was filled with frozen veggies, string cheese, and protein bars. Now, I’m on the road to talent, it is however, a very long road.

This is a longer post then I intended, but the words keep flowing. Cheers to those who have managed to remain entertained! So this afternoon I was enjoying my alone time. Luke was at work, the house was clean, and I wasn’t tired. A recipe for some relaxation! My sister has been telling me for ages that she swears I have severe food allergies. The “nurseness” in her (and my constant flatulence) convinced her. She has encouraged me to try eliminating gluten; my first reaction was HA! Me? nah. First it was the whole “deprivation” mentality that wanted to say no, but really, it was the lack of confidence in myself to actually do it.

The idea has been floating in my thoughts for a while now and today was the first time I actually sat to research it. Before today, I didn’t even know what gluten was. I just knew it was in practically everything, eliminating it was near impossible and no fun! Well, I thought.

I was dead wrong! The gluten research and recipes had my mouth salivating. For those allergic to gluten, it changed their lives. They were happier, healthier, and way less tired. I’m still “in research mode” but my curiosity has been peaked. Soon, I think I’ll be ready to take the plunge. Any thoughts or suggestions from those who are also gluten-free? Help!

So, as I was reading about gluten-free foods, I stumbled upon a delicious recipe with a poached egg. Poached egg, what is that? That question was answered a few weeks ago during breakfast at a cozy bread and breakfast (I meant to say BED in breakfast but chose to leave it because I thought my error was funny!) in Ireland. My sister, Kelly, so kindly filled me in. Since my newfound knowledge of poached eggs, I seem to see them everywhere. Where have I been for the last um, 23 years? I don’t know, but what I did know is that I wanted to try it. I wanted to poach an egg. So, I googled how to poach an egg; Boil water, place the egg in. Simple, right?

HAHAHA! Little did I know there is an art to egg poaching. Here I stood, panicky over this silly egg. As I was sautéing some veggies, and toasting bread, I was hysterically laughing. Yup, out loud, all alone, just laughing at no one but my self. I thought I was getting better at cooking, but as my egg was NOT poaching and turned to bazillion white strings, I was put back into reality. My egg was nothing but a ghost.

This may have been my first time attempting a poached egg, but I assure you it's not my last, damn’ t.

Needless to say, I still ate the remnants of my attempt. Although I was disappointed I couldn't make this gluten-free, the veggies, olive oil, and sort of poached egg was a delicious treat, and a healthy one too!

So here I am, anxiously at the ground breaking of a new gold mine ahead of me. I haven’t been this excited over a new hobby in ages. It feels refreshing to be so bad at something yet so eager to learn, perfect, and explore. This whole new world of cooking, possibly gluten-free, has got my toes tapping.

It feels electric.

Stay tuned if you want more "Katie in the Kitchen!".

.k.

THE moment.

2010-11-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

As a little girl with a theatrical imagination, my love story began long ago in a far away land. I still treasure my innocent memories of embracing my stuffed monkey dreaming, hopelessly romanticizing, that he was my prince charming who longed to rescue me from the wicked castle (which was really my wooden loft that my dad built for me). My childish artistry of playing house and baby dolls came naturally; the deep seeded passion to love and be loved existed not only as a 6 year old in an enchanted land, but followed me to this very moment. The moment I said YES.

You see, folks, the appetite to say YES did not just begin the day Luke and I met. The hunger for love began as individuals living a life that was once foreign to each other. My engagement story would lack genuineness if I went straight to the punch line; life before Luke has allowed me to answer the most valuable question ever to be asked. That question being, “Will you, Katie, marry me and be my wife?”

Life prior to Luke was filled with dance recitals, best friend forever necklaces, and crushes at summer church camps. I still remember being in 8th grade listening to a church lesson about decision-making. “The decisions you make growing up will affect your future. All of your choices and actions now will impact your relationships in the future”. It was then and there when the realization of a “spouse” set in. I knew from the deepest depth that my one-day-to-be husband was out there, existing in the same world as me.

I was young, but overwhelmed with questions, thoughts, and dreams about this person who I would one day call my husband. Who was he? What was he doing? What was he like? Is he cute? Does he wonder about me too? When will we meet? What are his interests? Where does he live? What is his story? I wanted to know it all, the curiosity soothed me to sleep night after night.

From then on, I began to pray. I prayed for HIM to be safe. I prayed for HIM to be wise and make good choices. I prayed that HE would have a heart for Jesus. I prayed that HE was happy. I prayed that once we met, he would love me forever. I asked God to pick the perfect man for me and watch over him so one day I could hold him and love HIM forever, too. No joke, I even prayed that if I were really lucky he would be tall, dark hair, and have green eyes. I guess God really does listen. My heart grew beautifully heavy for this boy; God and I knew that I was undeniably already crazy about this mystery boy.

Well what do you know, this boy turned into a man and one week and two days ago, this man got on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Here is my memory of the moment I said YES.

I eagerly greeted my sisters, Kelly and Melody, Thursday afternoon at the Galway City bus station. I am very close to my sisters and was beyond thrilled to show them my new life in Ireland. Luke knows how much I value my friendship with my sisters and he was extremely supportive and excited himself to spend some quality time with them. My sisters and I had previously planned places we wanted to go, and things we wanted to see. What I didn’t know is that Luke was in sneaky communication with them, and had some alternative plans in store. I was so focused on my sister’s arrival that being proposed to was in a far distance.

Now let’s rewind here a little. I knew a proposal was on its way. I just didn’t know where, how, or when. We have been together for over three years and we knew we didn’t want to ever be with anyone else about 6 months into our relationship. We have talked seriously about marriage for quite some time, we’ve gone ring shopping, and anyone close to us knew it was on its way; they also knew that I was very excited/eager for it. However, Luke, is so Luke. I mean that in the greatest way. He’s patient, sneaky, romantic, and reserved. Luke has been on his own plan; which makes this all the more special. He knows what he wants when he wants it and will wait for the perfect moment. That is just what he did. You got me Luke, you got me good you, sneak.

Okay, back to the excitement over my sisters. Thursday was filled with lots of hugs and catching up. We enjoyed a few pints while listening to live music and enjoying what we knew would be such a special time as sisters. Little did I know how special this would be. We went home, and before bed I mentioned going on a walk in the morning. What I didn’t notice was the smirks and giggles being passed across the room as my backed turned…

I went to bed all smiles simply because of the presence of my sisters. My sisters and Luke went to bed with butterflies because they knew what the next morning held…

The morning started early because we had a long day ahead of us. Friday was the last day before midterm break at school. My sisters were escorting me to work that day to meet my students and see where I teach. My students had planned a whole party for them; it was already going to be an eventful day. I was a little stressed about time. I wanted to allow time for a walk, coffee, breakfast, and get ready. Luke was extra lovey; he was giving me hugs, kisses, and just happily looking at me. Unfortunately, I was a little annoyed because I was trying to pick up the air mattress and he wouldn’t stop hugging me! Thank goodness I apologized for being slightly stressed before I left the house. Phew. He just laughed, he knew his life was about to change, too.

I kissed Luke goodbye to go on our walk and said I’d see him in about an hour. Never in my wildest dreams did I anticipate leaving for a morning walk and returning a wife-to-be.

The time with my sisters was priceless. We walked along the calm ocean, took pictures as the sun rose, laughed, hugged, and casually chatted. I watched them breath the fresh Ireland air. The morning wasn’t about me, it was about them, I thought. They looked relaxed, and genuinely at peace this quiet morning. Even with out a proposal, it would have been a beautiful morning with my siblings.

Luke and I have a spot, you see. We call it “Pride Rock”. Yup, from Lion King. There is a large memorial rock placed in a beautiful spot by our home. We often go walk over there and sit on a bench that over looks the ocean and a lighthouse. It’s an extraordinary place; a place we called our own. I had casually discussed “Pride Rock” with my sisters previously and they insisted on walking over there this very morning. I offered to go home and be the first to shower while they go check it out but they wanted me there. I wonder why?

After our tasty cappuccino and scones, we strolled along the Salthill promenade and found ourselves nearing this special area. Their cameras and Flip (for video) were out all morning. I knew they were admiring the landscape, I didn’t realize they were really admiring my oblivion. Kelly asked me to show her this distinct bench and told me to stand on it while she took a picture of the capturing Galway Bay behind me. While I hopped on the bench, I noticed a man holding an umbrella on the rocks yet I never thought twice about it. I stood on the bench, did some goofy pose like I was asked while Kelly snapped a quick picture. At that very moment, I turned around to find….

Oh man, my heart is racing all over again while I replay this very moment. My hands are shaky and my tummy is bouncy with excitement.

I turned around to find this tall, dark, and handsome man positioned next to me. This man who satisfied my prayers for so long was reaching for my hands while stealing my heart for the millionth time. His brilliant green eyes were sweet, tender, and candid. His posture was proud with intent. He was glowing, for this was his moment as much as it was mine.

His look gave it away, along with the paparazzi pictures from my sisters too. It was that moment that I squeaked, “holyyyyyy cooowwwww.” I knew this was the moment I dreamt about for so long.

Luke continued to stare at me, never losing focus, for he had waited for this as long as I had. His eyes grew glossy, never shedding a tear, but pouring out devotion with each breath. He found the perfect words that were unselfish and charming to my ears. He calmly, coolly, and collectively talked about the adoration since day one, memories together, and the desire to build more…

My heart was racing and my insides felt like I had just jumped out of an airplane. I couldn’t believe THE moment was finally here. The moment I spent countless nights pondering about. I was elated! Not because I could begin planning a wedding with pretty flowers, rather, I was about to say YES to my best friend.

Before I knew it, Luke was on one knee with a little black box in his hand. With confidence he asked, “Katie, I love you, will you marry me?”

“Yes”.

The little black box did not have a girl’s best friend in it; it was better. In the little black box perched an Irish tradition, a Claddagh ring.

The Claddagh ring is worn by people all over the world as a symbol of love, loyalty, friendship and fidelity. The hands are there for friendship, the heart is there for love, for loyalty, the crown is raised above. The Claddagh ring is said to have originated in the Claddagh village on the shores of Galway Bay (where we live). The distinctive Claddagh ring is notable for its design, two hands holding a heart which wears a crown. This design is explained in the motto, “Let Love and Friendship Reign”. In the Claddagh village, it was the traditional wedding ring for hundreds of years.

Now and forever the Claddagh ring will hold an even more valuable meaning for us as a couple. In the very spot he proposed was the very village this significant tradition began hundreds of years ago. Although it is only a temporary engagement ring (he made sure to mention that I can pick my real ring when we return) it encompasses an even deeper meaning than a silly little diamond. His words, thoughtfulness, and careful consideration made for the perfect 30 seconds ever to exist.

Naturally I soon asked, “Do my parents know?” It was a silly question, really. He had Skyped them nearly a month ago to ask for their blessing. Both our families are extremely joyful which I already knew they would be. I called my parents and woke them up in the middle of the night (due to the time change). It was then that the tears began to flow. I was so freakin’ happy.

And that was it.

We’re engaged, and it feels awesome.

The Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you would tell this sycamore tree, ‘Be uprooted, and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.” (Luke 17:6)

Thanks Lord, for all the faith.

Faithfully, kates

Sneak Peak!

2010-10-29T04:07:00.001-07:00

All my apologies for the delay! I can't wait to sip a soy cappuccino, listen to tunes, and write about the moment I said YES.

I've been soaking in the time with my sisters while reflecting on the biggest decision I've made thus far in the life of Katie. Thanks for your patience and also thanks for the eagerness! We feel completely undeserving of all support and love that has been poured out to us since the proposal. Simply stated, thank you.

More to come... I promise.

<3 Future Mrs. Gums

ms. Giddy.

2010-10-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, the students call me Ms. J.

Today, is Ms. Giddy.

My sisters arrive in approximately 5 hours! They are currently flying over the Atlantic, hopefully sleeping, while I just woke up!

I feel like a little kid before Christmas. I feel asleep with butterflies taking over my tummy!!

Thank you, sisters, for taking the time away from your families, jobs, and life JUST to see me. While I was writing on the board last week a student asked me, "Why are they coming to visit?". I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around, and with a grateful smile replied, "Just to see me." Her reply was, "Wow, Ms. J, you must be very special!."

As the baby little sister of two amazing women, I do in fact feel incredibly "special".

Now, how am I supposed to turn off Ms. Giddy and become Ms. J for a few more hours?

color.

2010-10-12T23:53:00.000-07:00

Webster defines color as:

1. That aspect of things that is caused by differing qualities of the light reflected or emitted by them, definable in terms of the observer or of the light, as:
a. The appearance of objects or light sources described in terms of the individual's perception of them, involving hue, lightness, and saturation for objects and hue, brightness, and saturation for light sources.
b. The characteristics of light by which the individual is made aware of objects or light sources through the receptors of the eye, described in terms of dominant wavelength, luminance, and purity

I was engaged in some insightful reading yesterday; while reading I was flirting with the idea and interpretations of color. Now, I was reading inadvertently about color, but my mind was racing. I began to think basic. What are some brilliant colors? I jotted down a quick list of things with vibrant pigments.

-a child's finished finger paint
-Autumn leaves
-a homemade Christmas stocking (like the one my mom made for my dad)
-parrots
-confetti cupcakes (yum!)
-Mardi Gras

I was trying to understand the written words, "The heavens declare the the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." Psalm 19:1

It's pretty friggin' inconceivable how much color is all around me; planned and perfected just for human kind to marvel at it's amazing adorableness. It's a shame at how often it's taken for granite. I started thinking of color in people. Not contrasting skin tones, but unique experiences in each individual that create a "colorful" past. I was intrigued that the definition of color states "in terms of the individuals perspective". What is your perspective of color beyond the norm?

I was trying to capture each rapid thought like a photographer captures the perfect shot. I couldn't. I still can't. All I know is that I'm thankful for the physical colors planted around me, and gratified by my own colorful past. I admire the brilliance and pray to continually applaud the creator of such splendor.

I hope I never lose appreciation for the "individual perception" of the wavelength composition, we call color.

Philippians 2:14

2010-10-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

First things first. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROXY! Wish we could be there to celebrate but we are thinking of you, and love you so.

The reading passage for my daily devotional was Philippians 2:1-11. The bold text following said "shining stars"; it caught my attention through my sleepy morning eyes. 2:14 says, "Do everything with out complaining or arguing".

Gulp.

It hit me. How much precious time do I spend complaining? Or arguing? Considering all the blessings my Savior has offered, I'm consistently too eager to complain, and too anxious to just relax. I perpetually have too many expectations and when life hands me something unexpected, my reaction isn't always accepting.

So, this is an addition to my prayer list today, and hopefully yours reading this, too.

Let's have a day of rejoice, with no complaints, deal?

<3
k.

Prost!!

2010-10-04T08:49:00.001-07:00

There are 1000 other things I should be doing. Lesson planning, laundry, sleeping, exercising, unpacking, writing emails, the list continues. All I want to do is peacefully position myself so that I can mold into the leather sofa, hot lemon tea in hand, and not have to think about a thing.

So, I will.

There is so much to articulate but my attempt is failing, I suppose I’ll just start blurting and hope it all makes sense. My current mood is: weary.

With good reasons, I sit here exhausted with a sore throat, missing one of my favorite boots, and a heavy burdened heart.

First off, last week was an excellent week. I finally felt like myself again, which was a very freeing sensation. After weeks of feeling defeated, I need to get back on my feet. I’m feeling much more comfortable in the classroom, beginning to build routines, and best of all, constructing relationships. Additionally, Luke finally got a job! He was really stressing and I’m thankful to see his spirits raised a bit. Also, we left on Friday for Munich! We have placed a map on our kitchen wall and have been meticulously tracking our adventures thus far. The scribbles and markings are beginning to look like a finished word search puzzle, and we constantly wonder how the heck we have been so blessed! Adding Munich to the map felt great but bringing back the memories feels even better. To say it bluntly, we had a fricken blast.

We left super early Friday morning to catch the train to Dublin. The journey was about 3 hours and was actually very enjoyable. I was excited to have a weekend away and had butterflies in my belly. We had to wait at the Dublin airport for hours but we sipped some coffee, chatted with fellow travelers, played cards, and people watched. It was not a problem at all, we both agreed.

Our hotel was better than we were expecting! Considering we booked late, it was the last weekend of Oktoberfest, and the price was reasonable, we weren’t expecting much. Upon check in I was greeted with a pretzel, and a mini beer. Need I say more?

We woke the next morning EARLY. We were told that we had to get to Oktoberfest super early in order to get a seat in the tent. So, we took it seriously and that annoying voice on the wake up call broke my slumber while being way to cheerful in the process. Yet, I was ready for the festivities that day. We planned our outfits that week and I must say, for 10 euro, we pulled it off pretty good.

We eagerly boarded the train, and laughed at all the other traditional German clothing. It was no joke that people dressed up! I was feeling a little silly at first but we were so happy we dressed up after all. By 8 am the place was PACKED. I couldn’t believe the amount of people ready to party so early in the morning. We got in line for the Hofbrauhaus tent, and literally charged our way through the crowd. Luke took off to find a spot while I patiently waiting for him to call me in order to reduce my chances of being run over. Our plan worked we were seated by these awesome Australian people who made our whole experiences so much better. We instantly made friends while toasting with a liter of beer, performing dance moves on benches, and loudly singing along with the live music. With thousands of people from all over the world in one tent, singing, chanting, laughing, and drinking, it was electric and oh so much fun. The day continued, literally all day. We met up with some friends from back home, rode some rides, attempted to see more tents but there was so room, and simply enjoyed the festival that has been highlighted on our bucket list for far too long. I consumed far too many calories and still feel like I’m digesting my intake, but it was so worth it. I will admit, I think I’ve had enough beer, bratwurst, and Lederhosen to last me for quite some time…

Sunday morning felt a little slower. I was obviously “worn out” from the festivities the day before but I wasn’t gonna let it stop me from exploring the vivacious city of Munich. Luke had been asking for a while to see a concentration camp so we made our way to Dachau Concentration Camp just out side of Munich.

Wow.

As we entered the memorial site, I didn’t know how to feel. We walked in, and all we could do was squeeze each other’s hands. Words just never came. It was hard to fathom that I was standing on the grounds were nearly 200,000 people were violently tortured, starved, and murdered. Watching movies and documentaries are helpful and educational, but nothing could have prepared me to witness this. My heart was heavy and burdened, and my stomach was unwell.

While standing in the authentic gas chambers and oven crematorium, I grew angry, confused, and helpless. I prayed. I just didn’t know what else to do. I was a spectator of a place in which history, trauma, agony, and fear was too real. It wasn’t just in my 11 grade history book, this was evidence.

I brought pictures to my students today and we briefly discussed the camp. They had so many questions and were so interested. It was an honor to bring back such an experience and nearly 24 hours later, my heart and head is still troubled. I don’t consider that overwhelming feeling will ever disappear. God Bless those who ever entered Dachau, and those who never returned to life outside the prison gates.

Here’s the memorial site if your interested:
http://www.kz-gedenkstaette-dachau.de/index-e.html

After the numbness faded, we enjoyed dinner at a traditional German restaurant. I must say, Germany was pretty amazing. My dad was born in Germany and my family relations are still existent there. I thought about my Dad, a lot. That same day, he completed his first triathlon. I am such a proud daughter and so very thankful for my family and our admiration for each other. My Dad is the best man I know…

Yeah yeah, I have lumpy throat all right. I miss my family!!

Anyway, our journey home was so long. I was so wiped from the busy weekend and stressed because I knew I had to be at work in a matter of hours. We made it home at 3 am this morning, and my alarm went off at 7. Hence, my weariness.

Overall the weekend was one to remember. It felt good to see a new place, have fun, and learn. This entire journey continues to leave me thankful, blessed, and hopefully, wiser.

<><
k.

ps:
My missing boot fell out of my purse, somewhere in a heap of leftover Oktoberfest chaos. RIP.

PS: I love you.

2010-09-26T22:45:00.001-07:00

It's early, and I didn't sleep well last night. This is my usual time that I get up, and read a devotional and have some God time. Today, I feel like writing and catching up since I haven't in so long. I'm sorry for those that have been waiting.

Time has been flying so quickly. I've been keeping so busy and honestly been extremely stressed. School is so challenging and exhausting that by the time the end of the school day is over I just want to curl up, eat, and stare at a wall. I don't, but I want to. Lately, I've had so many emotions pour out of me. I think the distance, change, and overwhelming amount of stress has caused me to panic. In what sense? I'm not really sure. I just feel a lot and seem to be angry too easily. I do not like it.

I can't tell you how many times I apologized to Luke this week. Simple things were annoying me, and I was just snappy. Girls, you know that feeling. But it was never anything he deserved. Luckily, he loves me enough to overlook it the second it happens. He looks at me, laughs, and hugs me; behavior that I don't deserve after snapping. Thanks love, for understanding me, and loving me unconditionally.

Yesterday was a great day though. Luke and I have been cooking "surprise dinners" every Sunday. We cook throughout the week together but on Sunday we switch off cooking for each other, and it's a surprise! So he had to go to the store to pick up a few things for dinner because it was his turn. It gave me a great opportunity to go on a run. Man I needed it. There was a lift off my shoulders and I literally asked God to help me from feeling easily angered, stressed, and insecure. I sat on some rocks at the ocean, and felt like I was in the perfect place at the perfect time. I'm in Ireland, with the love of my life, and been taking it for granite ever since school started. It felt good and right to talk to God about it and as I chose to walk home instead of run, I smiled the whole way. I returned home first and when Luke walked in the door later, I just hugged him in the center of our living room. It was the best, safe hug. I finally felt rest and didn't even need to tell him, he already knew.

The day continued and it was joyful. We talked to family on skype, ate our steak dinner that Luke prepared, and watched PS I love you. It was our first movie we have been able to watch since we have been here! We set up a mini movie theater in our living room, ate popcorn, and I cried the entire way through the movie. As a female, it was the cry that had been waiting to come out. Watching the movie in Ireland felt entirely different, much more moving. (or perhaps it was my emotional state, ha). Either way, I bundled my head into his shoulder and just let myself cry. I feel so blessed to be loved by him.

Now, a new work week continues. I've had my healing moment and I hoping it continues throughout the week! We leave on Friday for Munich. Oktoberfest baby!!! We are SOO excited!

So besides my stressed work weeks, the weekends have been fabulous! We gave a toast "To Arthur!" on Arthurs Day (the creator of Guinness. It is a huge event here and we were so lucky to take part in it. The whole Eyre Square was filled with people, live entertainment, and of course, beer. It was delightful :]

Then, the Annual International Oyster Festival was this weekend. Thousands of people from all over the world come here just for the festival. We watched the parade, enjoyed more live music and street entertainers, and went out to some new pubs. It was great and energetic!

Please don't get me wrong, WE ARE LOVING IRELAND. Every morning I wake up and am so thankful for this entire experience. I do not want to distort the thousands of enjoyable moments by recent heavy heart. Thanks readers for allowing me to vent. It's not always easy being honest on here, but it wouldn't be right if I wasn't.

I say this everytime but I will try and update more often. I'm sure after Oktoberfest, I will have SO much more.

OH! We went to one of my students birthday parties on Friday. Here's the video that captured my heart!

Talk soon. Thanks for the patience people!

<3
ms. j

September 15, 2010

2010-09-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

The story of Doubting Thomas is an analogy to everyone who has struggled with faith in a God they cannot see. We would all like to be able to see Christ in the flesh and to touch his wounds, so that we could be certain of our beliefs.
But our wish is a false one. Appearances can be deceiving; our eyes and ears are not trustworthy. Many an innocent man has gone to prison because an eyewitness was positive they had seen him commit a crime. Magicians make a living by defrauding our eyes and ears.
It is true, in a logical sense, that being able to see a wounded person who says he is Christ would make it more probable that Christ was the son of God, and that he rose from the dead. But we cannot know God by logic. There is nothing in all the facts gathered by mankind, considered by all the great minds that have lived, that can prove or disprove the existence of God or the life and miracle of Jesus Christ. God cannot be known by logic. Probability has no function in the realm of religious belief.
Knowing God and believing in Him is a matter of faith. We know God and grow towards him like a tulip bulb, deep in the earth, grows towards a sun it cannot see or feel, in a kind of faith that the sun will be there to give it life.

www.dailyprayer.us

<3

Calling all teachers!!!

2010-09-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

As you know from the last blog, I started school on Monday. It’s Thursday now and I’m pooped! I have little energy but several people have been asking about my student teaching so I thought I should share! It’s going well so far; it’s very different than what I expected so I’ve been trying to adjust to the chaotic feeling that’s going on inside of me. Everything feels foreign to me, the clothing, teaching styles, the students, the behavior plans, and even the staff members. Not in a bad way, but it will take some adjustments to finally feel settled in. I’m enjoying the change and embracing the challenge.

We all have been in those uncomfortable situations. They suck balls. And, if you’re a teacher or an education student, you know how evil teachers lounges can be. Well, try walking in to a new school Monday morning in a foreign country, wet from the rain, and not a clue what to expect. Luke walked me to school my first day and I felt like I little kid leaving Dad and getting on the bus for the first time. It was scary and I had that knot in my stomach all day. However, I survived and was warmly welcomed by all the staff and students. I have tried to fully immerse myself and put myself out there and it seems to be working so far.

Okay, so here’s the deal. Although I am an Elementary Education major, it doesn’t exactly mean I’m teaching elementary school. Actually I’m teaching ages 12-20, all in which are special needs students. The subjects are math, English, Science, Social studies, and Environmental studies. For non-educators, this is not exactly something I have been fully trained for. They placed me here because the curriculum is at the primary (elementary) level. Since I have never had experience teaching middle school, or special education students, you can see the challenge. However, they make me laugh! Holy smokes, they are hilarious. At first, I was scared and apprehensive and actually quite frustrated because I didn’t think I would benefit as an elementary school teacher in the future. Regardless, teaching is teaching no matter what the students needs are or how old they are. I have already learned so much in 4 days and been pushed in ways I never would in my comfortable third grade class back home. So, I’m so grateful for the challenge and look forward to experiencing tremendous growth as a future educator. Here’s some of my students who bring me smiles every time I walk in the door…

Meet Maeve <3

With that said, I need suggestions and help from all teachers out there. All of my books and resources are back home so I am desperate for things I can’t find on the Internet. I switch classrooms, students, and mentor teachers, almost every hour. And, I start teaching 100% on my own next week with out the teacher even present in the room. Yowza. I’ve been observing this week, and next week, I’m fully responsible. I’m excited and already been planning but it’s difficult with so many subjects. Okay, how can you help? Right now, I’m trying to focus on really get to know the students before I dive into the curriculum. For those of you that have experience working with non-readers, non-writers, Down’s Syndrome, severe behavior problems, psychological disorders, and all types of learning disorders, please feed me suggestions on activities they may like. I have done my research already and had some experience but it never hurts to ask for help. I’m looking for a good warm-up and closing activity to implement everyday that all students can benefit from. You can email me at katiejozsa@gmail.com with any advice. I’m open to it all! Thanks!

It probably sounds like I’m a basket case but I’m actually feeling pretty confident. I learned that its okay to feel insecure and most certainly okay to reach out for help. Like I said, I’m here to learn so I’m willing to take some risks and put myself out there!

Although teaching has consumed my life this week, I still enjoy walking in the door and saying, “Honey, I’m home!” Luke has been a little houseman this week. He’s been doing laundry, cleaning, making me breakfast, and running errands. It won’t last long though because he went to Dublin yesterday for a job seminar and has begun job searching. Soon, we will both be super busy! At night we have been enjoying making dinner together, playing cards, reading, and enjoying the silence. We don’t have a TV so we are relying on alternative methods of entertainment. It’s actually quite nice and peaceful.

This weekend we are attending the annual Oyster Festival held in Galway and visiting the Cliffs of Moher on Sunday. I’m looking forward for two days to recoup after this week. Thanks again and sorry for the lack of enthusiasm, I’m just super tired! I promise, I’m loving this experience and I LOVE my students (most of them, not the bratty pimply ones)!

Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you for those who have been supporting us. I have received numerous emails and facebook messages from people who are following us on this journey. I hope you know how thankful and blessed we feel and appreciate all the kind words and support. I apologize if I haven’t gotten back to you but please know that you are cherished and we sincerely admire your generosity. We need all the prayers and support to really make the most of this. Thanks a million!

Okay, it’s dinna time and I’m hungry!! I’ll try and update after the weekend is over. I know I promised pictures, I’m working on it :]

Bye bye!

Charlie St. Cloud

2010-09-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

My Sunday afternoon left my heart satisfied and a large lump in my throat. As Luke sat browsing the web I eagerly flipped the pages of an almost complete book, Charlie St. Cloud. I saw this book at Mccarren Airport getting ready to leave for London. I went to the newsstand to get some water and gummy bears and the dreamy Zac Efron caught my eye as I passed the novels. I realized I forgot some books and wanted to buy one to keep me busy during our travels. Prior to departure day I had seen previews for this book as a motion picture film staring Mr. Efron. I looked for more interesting books but somehow, this book was my final selection. Nearly a month later and pages flipped in each country, the book has come to an end. And I sit here with one butt check asleep, compelled to share.

This movie may be out in the States, I have no idea. Perhaps the movie sucked, but the book was worth reading. It’s a story about life and death, siblings, love, and diving for dreams. Right up my alley right? Being a deep person myself, I love reading books like this; I like thinking of the author and the journey it took to write such drama. The creation of the characters, the setting, the sequence of the beginning, middle, and end and desire to make the novel flow and move the audience. It interests me. This book wasn’t one of those books that EVERYONE must read, but it was easy, took me below the surface, and made me extremely grateful for siblings, falling in love, and living my dreams.

I guess it brings me to think about my own life or death experiences. Although my first breakup felt life or death, February 24th 2006 was quite a bit more agonizing. Several times throughout this book, I felt quite depressed. The author evokes real emotions about handling death, trauma, and grieving. I hate to give away the end for potential Ben Sherwood readers but it left me feeling grateful for my own life or death experience, being shot in the face. I’m thankful for the “second chance” you may call it or the darn right miracle for still existing. Now, I sit cozy on my new couch sipping lemon tea enjoying each inhale and exhale.

It’s pretty crazy how life works out. I always assume I have it figured out just in time to realize I’m still completely clueless. I spend so much time trying to find the answers or solutions when the answer is in the unknown. My life journey has been a continuous surprise and I can only imagine what God has in store for my future…

Even throughout this incredible traveling adventure, my soul clings to the deep stuff. You know, the couple hugging at the ocean, or the girl crying at St. Peters Basilica. I can’t help but wonder and think beyond the surface level stuff. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my deep thinking cap, but then I realized I’d miss so much on what life is offering me. This book, it was a thinker alright, but I appreciated it. I admire the author for his unique talent and his bizarre thoughts; I’m humbled by the thankfulness he created in me this quiet, rainy, Sunday afternoon in Galway.

Whoa, okay. Can you tell my Sunday has been wonderful? It may appear that I’m a bit glum but I’m not. I’m perfectly content and honest. Today has been a great day. We slept in, made breakfast, and went on a run. It was sooo nice to move and feel the fresh salt water air on my skin. As I blasted “Boots with the Fur” and “Sexy Back” I smiled at fellow runners, walkers, and sitters (those on benches, ha). Galway is BEAUTIFUL! I feel so blessed to be here and share this experience with Luke while growing as individuals. After our run we returned to our new home, made lunch, and I started reading. I finished my book and he now he is reading it. I’m excited to talk about it with him and share our personal thoughts on the paperback. I’m enjoying my sweats, tea, and the light rain out my window.

Yesterday was also a relaxing and enjoyable day. We moved into our new place on Friday but we had no food here. A home with no food is no home at all. Let me hear an amen! Ha. So, we walked along the Oceanside to town, only a 20 minute walk or so. We stumbled across a farmers market! Since we were already shopping for fruits and veggies we got them there. It was sooo cool! We still needed some other food items so we made our way to the grocery store, finished our shopping, and began to walk home. The weather was the best. It was bright and sunny but not hot at all. You could tell whole town wanted to be outside; everyone was cheerful. As we were leaving we said, “we are in no rush, let’s grab a Guiness!” And that is just what we did…

After walking back home and unpacking our grocery’s, we made lunch with our fresh produce and then took a walk on the beach. You couldn’t get enough of the sun and ocean, it was so fresh! Our place is literally steps from the water too, so it helps. The sun started to set and it became a bit chilly so we walked back and collected seashells from the sand. We were eager to cook our first meal in our place so we set the tunes, lit the candles, poured the wine, and started cooking. It was a tasty, healthy meal, perfect first feast.

Okay there is our perfect weekend, which is probably making everyone jealous! Sorry, not our intention. We are still feeling like we are dreaming ourselves. Now, I’m going cook meal number 2 and prepare for my first day of school tomorrow! I’ll fill you in regarding my new school, staff, and students. Ahhhh!!

Ps, for those who were wondering, I passed my Praxis 2, YAY!!

Always,

K J

I'd put more up but our internet is so strange here. Facebook has way more photos so tune in there. Thanks!

the road to Ireland ends

2010-09-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

My apologies for the absence, we’ve been extremely occupied with travels, illness, and house hunting. Luckily, the travel is over, the sickness is done, and our search for a lovely abode has come to an end…. Lets see, Paris, Belgium, Amsterdam, and Ireland… so much to update!

Paris

Cliché or not, my time in Paris was enchanting. Of course, I knew that Paris was the city for lovers, but believing in it was a question mark. Prior to arrival I was hopelessly romanticizing that I would have this magical Cinderella experience while I was there, and I did. It was too perfect to share all the juicy details and probably super cheesy (especially to the men reading this!). Regardless, I fell more madly in love those 72 hours.

While in Paris, we went to the Arc de Triumph, Louve, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and the main shopping area that I can’t remember the name of. We probably saw more but I can’t seem to recall. The Eiffel Tower was absolutely stunning. We chose to splurge in Paris and have a date night (I guess every night has been a date night but this had extra spark to it!). After showering, perfume, lipstick, and heels, I was set for my lovely planned evening in Paris. We waited to go up the Eiffel Tower until sundown; best decision we made! We reserved it in advance so we didn’t even have to wait in line, yay! I didn’t even have to hopelessly wish for romance, it was so natural. The scenery was beautiful and not a care in the world was on our mind. We were totally into each other watching the sunset from the summit of the tower. We gazed, kissed, hugged, laughed, smiled, and prayed; it was flawless. Following the tower escapade, we found a nice restaurant to dine at directly under the tower and under the stars. After wine, steak, salad, and fries, I was one grateful stuffed piggy. The tower also has a huge grass area where you can pop champagne and cuddle. So, that’s just what we did...

Paris was all I had ever hoped for!

Brussels, Belgium

If you want to go somewhere to have some freakin’ fun, book a flight to Brussels stat. We got super lucky, our place was right in the center of everything. It was so easy and accessible to everything. The whole Brussels vibe was just…cool. It was a lot of little streets, cool restaurants, nice people, and awesome buildings and architecture. Of course, awesome bars too. We were told by several fellow travelers to go to the Delirium Café; sounded like a stoner pot head pit to me. Well well well I was pleasantly surprised when it was the sweetest bar I’ve ever stepped my little feet into. This place has 2010 beers, yup, you read right! It was three floors, super relaxed vibe, great music, and excellent brews. We met some friends and planned to hang out again. It never worked out but its always fun getting to know new people. We bought some cool souvenirs, walked around the city, enjoyed venturing off with no map, and enjoyed people watching. We found this interesting street where there was a guy playing the saxophone on the street. He was extremely talented so we chose to stop at a café and grab a drink and listen. I wish I had my journal on me because the energy on this random street made my want to write. I remember feeling completely content and outrageously grateful. It was splendid.

Amsterdam

Wow. Amsterdam was nuts. We went to the Red Light District, Anne Frank House, Dam Square, Heineken Brewery, and the main square (It starts with an L but I can’t remember the name). The Red Light District was so strange. I’m happy I went because it was totally out of my element. Luke was laughing at me because he knew I was trying to play it cool but really I was so awkward. It was hard for me to watch; I didn’t want to judge but I did want to pray! I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girls; I can’t even imagine that life. Anyway, I was glad I went and saw it and I’m sure Luke was too ;)

The Anne Frank house was my FAVORITE part about Amsterdam! I was choked up the whole time. I remember reading her story in middle school and feeling so connected to her. As a young girl I was so intrigued by the holocaust, this experience enhanced every feeling I ever had. I was unaware that the museum was the actual house. I told Luke before that it couldn’t be, it didn’t seem possible. I was so wrong. We visited the actual secret annex. I walked through the bookcase that hid the family right into Anne’s actual room that she hid in. I stood there and felt like a piece of you know what for ever complaining about anything. It was humbling and brought tears to my eyes and chills to my spine. Additionally, we were able to see the actual journal of Anne Frank. If you ever visit Amsterdam make sure you make time to see it, you will never regret it.

Amsterdam as a whole was grand! I can’t say that I will run back but I’m very happy we went. I saw loads of interesting people, had fun, and was moved by Anne Frank.

Ireland

Our attempt to get here was similar to our attempt to get to Paris (the bike rack, remember?) but not as bad. We were just exhausted. We left Amsterdam super early in the morning, went back to Brussels, Brussels to London, picked up our luggage that we stored in the beginning, waited for 6 hours, took the night train to the ferry port, and boarded the ferry to get to Ireland at 2 40 am. It was freezing and I was exhausted. And, we had 5 large bags of luggage. It wasn’t fun and this was when I started to feel super ill. We arrived in Dublin that morning at 5 am then had to take a three-hour bus ride to Galway. It was so tiring and I felt like crap. However, we sucked it up and finally made it. Then, I hid for three days in bed due to some virus the doc said. Oh well, I’m better now and so excited to finally be here!!!

After a few disappointments while house hunting, we finally found a place. After the first day, we were completely discouraged. We prayed a lot and literally felt like it was in Gods control. Right when we finally surrendered our anxiety and ate lunch by the sea, everything fell into place. Our new place is steps from the ocean and its beautiful. Its 200 times nicer than anything we ever thought we would take! Tomorrow, we are going to watch a big futbol game at one of the pubs and drink some delicious Guinness. I saw my school today, and I’m super excited and nervous at the same time! I also met with Amy (the other student teacher here) today and it was so nice to spend time with her. I start working on Monday and I’m hoping the butterflies calm down a bit. For now, we are ready to settle, cook some dinner, and find some time to relax and reflect on everything that has occurred so far. It has all happened so quickly and I’m looking forward to the slower, Irish lifestyle. We should have internet at our place early next week so hopefully the blogs can be more frequent….

Thanks for tuning in :]

kates

ps: pictures to come next!!!

It's part of campin'.

2010-08-22T02:44:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl, my family would go on camping trips. My Dad was, and still is, Joe camper. In the middle of the night night when we had to pee or brush our teeth in a bucket in the morning, my dad would always say with a chirpy smile, "it's part of campin!"

Well, Luke and I have become quite comfortable with this term and have altered the saying to, "it's part of backpacking!". It's our way to laugh off the annoyances and make light of the challenging situations. Since we've been traveling with our packs for 18 days now and visited four countries and nearly 15 cities, its inevitable that we would have several "it's part of campin'" moments. We are currently waiting for our room to be cleaned and are desperate for sleep considering we slept on a bike rack for 14 hours. Yes, you heard me, a bike rack. During our fabulous train ride to Paris, instead of crying Luke made me laugh...and laugh at all our funny experiences thus far. We hope you find some comic relief as well after reading...

Now, for those fellow BUDGET travelers, you can relate to the constant struggle backpacking is. HA.

-getting lost, sweaty, every day
-finally finding our hostel and greeted by HILDA who looks like a short, fat man with a wig who doesn't speak English and apparently has no reservation for us. nice.
-being locked INSIDE our room in two different hostels and cracking the wall just to open the door.
-being herded, no joke, onto the train, losing Luke, and hearing his adventure of stiff arming a girl just to find a seat
-getting yelled at by random people
-breaking my sandal the first few days and having to wear Lukes, size 12, sandals in the showers
-walking through dark alleys with no other choice
-scabby legs due to awful mosquitos
-being nose level with everyones nasty ass armpits
-smelling smoke indoor, outdoors, everywhere!
-taking the wrong bus causing a 2 hour detour in the heat, not fun
-getting off at the wrong train stop
-sleeping with nasty sheets
-paying 3 euro to dry our towels and after 45 minutes they were more wet!
-looking at maps feeling cross-eyed
-motion sickness from the trains
-topless OLD ladies strutting their saggy boobs with large eraser nips on the beach
-random stray dogs

That's enough for now. We could go on for days. My current state of mental imbalance is lacking memory of all the funny stuff I planned on writing. Nonetheless I'm sure its funnier to us and doesn't make much sense to those at home, but it makes us feel better!

Ok, now for a recap on the last day in Switzerland and Barcelona. Switzerland was incredible except for an extremely dissapointing last day. We woke up super early to catch the train to Interlochen to do the skydiving. We said our sad goodbyes to our family and had a sequence of trains and metros to make it to Interlochen. We arrived and called the skydiving company to come pick us up and they had cancelled the jumps for that day due to bad weather. We were crushed and stuck at the train station. We were taking the night train to Barcelona that night so we couldn't go too far; honestly, we were so disappointed about the skydiving and didn't have much motivation to pay to do anything else. Embarrasingly enough we were starving and the paid 20 euros to eat at Mcdonalds because that was the cheapest food we could find! Anyway, we had to go back to Bern (the city our train was leaving from that night) and our day started picking up. We were out of our funk and found ourselves in this amazing downtown shopping area in Bern. We found a place to store our packs for the day and felt much better after that. The downtown was alive with farmers markets, shopping, bars, resturants, and loads of people. We walked, talked, laughed, had some drinks, and enjoyed our day. We were still upset about the skydiving but promised each other we would do it in the near future.

Then we boarded our night train. It wasnt five stars or anything but it was fun! We had a double room with two small beds and a sink. It was strange to sleep on a train but not too shabby. I don't think I slept much even after a dramamine, ear plugs, and a full tummy though. We arrived in Barcelona, found our not so nice hostel, and set out to explore the town. I was exhausted. We took a bus tour of the city; I fell asleep during the tour! I wish I could put picures up because Luke took a picture of me fast asleep on the top of the double decker. opps! We went back to our place, took a nap, and went to get dinner! The food in Spain was to die for. We had tapas and sangria...yum yum. We found ourselves lost in the pouring rain, laughing, and enjoying the new scenery. It was a great night especially since I had taken a nap. The next day we were fresh and ready for the beach! We hated our hostel though so we booked a different one and set out to find it. After a very long and hot walk, we were pleasently surprised and happy we switched. We headed for the beach and went the wrong direction on the bus... 2 hours later and nearly 2oclock by this time we were relaxing on the beautiful Barcelona beach. It was very stressful but we found our way and loved the second half of the day. That night we stayed in the hostel the whole night. It wasn't intentional, but it was fun! It was one of those super young and lively hostels. They had a bar, cheap food, and a sangria workshop. We met other travelers, played pool, and competed in a poker tournament. We both lost but the girl we were playing with was a joke. She was beyond rude, and we both walked away wiht nothing. Ha. The experience was fun though! We spent our last day in Barcelona touring a local market, roaming the town, and again, enjoying the food. Then.... the journey from hell began.

20 hours ago I was bummed to leave Barcelona but very excited for Paris. If we only knew what was in store for us, you would have found us on a flight back to Vegas. Not really, but close. We tried to make a reservation for the night train the day before but the guy behind the counter said we couldn't. He gave us strict directions to follow that would lead us to Paris very similar to the other night train. So, we set off on a three hour metro train to Cerebere. This is where we were supposed to catch a different night train. Well apparently the train was completely full, but they told us to wait, speak to the controller and get on a different train. There was alot of people in our same situation so we weren't too scared but no one had any clue waht to do. We were told to just get on the train and you can reserve your seat once your on. LIES! we sat down all right but at the next stop, the train was full and people without a reservation had to stand. It was a nightmare. We stop a different station and they said that if your trying to go to Paris, you need to get on a different train at a different platform. We ran to the other train and ran into the same situation except now we had no clue where we were and the French people didn't want to help us. We hopped on the bus, found two seats, and tried to fit in. Again, there was lots of people doing the same thing we were. Well this was the night train to Paris, a 12 train ride. We were happy to know we were headed in the right direction but confused and frustrated mostly. Sure enough we were kicked out of our seats in no time. We had to stand. We were so tired that we were literally laughing, we couldn't believe it. It was embarrassing too because people thought we just hopped on the train and were trying to rig the system or something. Then we found out there were fires some where in France and all the train systems were messed up so people were jsut jammed into random trains. That was us. We stood for about 30 mintues and finally said screw it. We were deteremined to find somewhere to sit considerign we had 11 more hours to go. We found a bike rack area. It was pretty much filled with bikes and luggage but we were determined to make it work. The nice lady next to us had a comfortanle bedroom and asked her cabin worker to bring us some blankets. Thank god for her... literally! We were able to atleast sit, until we were joined by 3 other people who had apparently already claimed the bike rack. We said please and smiled and made it work for all of us. I think people started feeling bad because they brought water and pillows for the other guys. WE never thought we would be so happy to sleep in a bike rack. I took a picure of Luke and look forward to posting it. Luke cut his leg on the bike brakes, and I had tire marks, but, we slept a little. We kept looking at each other saying this is crazy, and "its part of backpacking". We arrived around 930 this morning to paris and found our hostel. Were still waiting for our room to shower and take a long nap. We plan to go explore tonight and have a fun filled day planned tomorrow. It was crazy and we are so happy to finally be in Paris and sleep. We are exhausted, feeling a little sick, but ready for more! We are however, getting more ready to settle down in Ireland and not live out of a backpack anymore.

The best part of this whole journey is that I get to experience this with my best friend. I get to flirt and laugh everyday. He makes me feel pretty and protected. He's fun, adventurous, and patient! After being long distance for three years, we are soaking in the time together. We aren't sick of each other and so happy to share this wonderful journey as a couple. I feel stronger already and happy its still the beginning. Thanks for all the prayers and support, we still need it!

Ok, this is far too long. I'm proud if you have read this far down! Are plan is to sleep, and then vist most of the famous sites in Paris. Tomorrow night we are going on a date. Like a real date! We are going up the Eiffel Tower at sunset and then splurging on a nice dinner. We are even getting dressed up which doesnt happen when you backpack. Then were headed to Brussels, Amsterdam, London, and finally, Ireland. It's going by so fast!

We miss everyone at home!!!!!

Kates

Moving on...

2010-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Well hello world. Sadly we have left Italy but fortunataly our new adventures are just beginning! We left Venice yesterday and traveled most of the day to Switzerland. Although I was motion sickness on the train and zonked out due to dramamine, the ride i did see was beautiful. The train travels through mountains, rivers, waterfalls, and the greenest hills ive ever seen. Luckily, I hvae family in Switzerland! They picked us up from the train station in Zurich, and took us to the market; we made dinner in their home last night. Its amazing to have family across the world, barely know them, and have them be so hospitable. The house we are staying at doesnt even have anyone here! They work on the weekends but they offered their home anyway. We are getting some laundry done, and able to get some quality blogging time. However, im so tired so bare with me.

Alright, lets recap about the wine tasting in Firenze. we went on an all day wine tasting tour in Tuscany. We went to two winerys, ate brunch at a local farm, toured the cellars, visitied an old medieval town, and purchased some scrumptious tuscan vino. The local family farm brunch was a magical experience. First of all, the drive to the farm was stunning; the air was fresh and the view was breathtaking. Since we booked through the budget hostel and got a screaming deal, our expectations werent set too high. Well, our experience could not have been more excellent! We arrive at the farm and the brunch table were all set up for us outside under a tent... in the middle of the freakin vinyard. The tables had pitchers of white table wine, baskets of bread, and three different olive oils. The meal continued with cheese tastings, meat tastings, and of course, wine tastings. We were so full! It was sooooo yummy in the tummy! To top it off, a storm came in the middle of the brunch. Rain. Thunder. Lightning. TUSCANY. It was splendid! We continued to the second winery. We explored the cellars, learned about the making of wine, and tasted a few more. It was a wonderful day under the Tuscan... rain.

We left right after the wine tasting and headed to Venice. It was an easy two hour journey. Now. for those who have been to this city, one word comes to mind. LOST. Ive never been so lost in my whole life. Its funny now, but at the time, we thought we were going to be mugged and thrown into the grand canal for all we were worth. We literally walked around, asking for directions, going over bridges for at least an hour. With our packs!! My shoulders and back were killing me but that was the least of our worries. It was our fault. We spontaneously decided to go to Venice that afternoon instead of the next morning. We had 20 min at the FLorence train station to book our next hostel before our train took off. I had the internet for 15 min. I was stressed and still a little tipsy from the vino. I had just enough time to confirm the hostel and capture the address; no directions from the train station. We assumed if we had the address, it would be a piece of cake. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Didnt we know we were going to the most confusing city ever??? Apparently not. Anzwaz, so we were stranded in the streets in venice and honstly had no clue what to do. I said a prayer, and literally, God provdided. A host at a cafe felt bad for us because he literally saw us walk by nearly four times. He called over his friends and his friends called the hostel for us! I was skeptical though, they didnt speak a lick of english and I knew no Italian that could help me except for thank you. Teh two older guys literally told us to follow them. We glanced at each other and were so desperate we just followed them. Luke was still hodling the wine bottle that we purchased that day in his hand. I could tell it was in position to use as a weapon if needed. The guys never seemed shady, but it could have been a bad situation if thez want4ed to mug us. Needelss to say, they walked us 30 min to the doorstep of our hostel, shook our hand, and walked away. It was such a god thing and one of the craziest experiences thus far. It was probablz one of those had to be tehre type things, so sorry ha. The rest of our Venice trip was perfect. The next day we ventured off. Venice is one of the most incredible cities ive ever seen. There is nothing in the world that compares! We drank cappucinos, watched the gondolas, got lost again, and just took in teh city with one large breath. We went to the supermarket and made sandwiches and salad for dinner that night. We spent all tnight with the other backpackers we met and had a great evening chatting with fellow travelers. we went to bed that night with huge smiles.

Okay, now we are in switzerland! We are just outside Zurich with family and are headed to Interlochen on Wednesday to skydive and vist the alps!!!! we are SO stoked and praying for good weather. Today, I visited were my Oma was born. Tears welled up as I took pictures and learned more about my family history. It was a very overwhelming and inspiring experience. I love you Oma and thank you for your heritage!!! My familz here is extremely generous. They took us to yummy restaurants, showed us amayzing castles and churches, and just had great discussions with us. It was so humbling to be welcomed (last minute, too) with such graciousness. We have been able to save a lot of money bz staying here and getting a great feel for the local life. Switzerland is probably one of the most beautiful places weve seen and the rain and greenery is getting us excited for Ireland!!!

my brain is fried and we are very sleepy. Plus, this blog is becoming jibberish. I was just talking ot julie on skype and explaining to her that its hard to blog! I absolutely love to write but when you have so much to say, the creativity just doesntä come the same as usual. its soo fun sharing our adventures so I appreciate thsoe who are following us and keeping up! We are off to Barcelona after interlochen so Ill write again soon.

bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

k

2010-08-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

Currently, Im sitting in a small internet cafe, tears building, energy pumping, and the ipod blasting mellow tunes. no reason in particular, possible PMS, im just emotional. Not in a bad way, just honest. Here i am in the virbrant city of Florence ,Italy, and Ive just been in deep thought all day. Luke has been nothing but genuine and patient with me all day, whats new right?

This probabaly sounds depressing, that is not my intention! Im determined to be honest and respectful to my own life. Who wants to read a blog that doesnt exemplify reality? Personally, I like depth, honesty, and realistic people. My goal is not to sugar coat the adventure but be serious about normal relationships, emotions, and natural human emotions. I may be experiencing the most amazing adventure across the world, but that doesnt take away the katie in me; the human, and FEMALE side. ahhh, with that said, thanks for accepting me the way i am, deep, emotional, and well, fill in the blank with your own interpretation...

Okay! now with the fun stuff, sorry about the venting, i feel much better that Luke isnt the only one to put up with it. He jsut laughs, listens, and engages in my deep talks. Its no nice to have a man that respects me, my thoughts, experiences, and admires me for it. I feel so blessed and lucky to share this journey with him. Weve have been living the dream life; however, it comes with challenges. All beautiful and funny in its own way. Nonetheless, we love each other, and always will. Praise God for his constant protection, and love.

my oh my. See, I dont even try and there you go, three PARAGRAPHS of nonsense, imagine my journal ha. But in all seriousness, i have 29 minutes to try and cram all our exciting journies (sp?) in one. ok, i promised to recap on our Rome adventure, its difficult though when each day is a differnt experience! So we went to St. Peters Basillica. We climbed the stairs (per danny liles advice)and it was incredible. After admiring the Vatican City and waiting atleast 2 hours in line, we climbed over 500 stairs and had the most stunning view of Italy. The history was creepy, in a fascinating way. So often we get so wrapped in our own generation, rarely, we give thought to those even before Christ. It gave and still gives me goosebumps. We both wished we would have researched more prior to our vist, however, we are inspired to visit a library and simply read about world history. The next day, we visited the colleseum. HOLY CRAP that thing is massive. We stepped off the subway and BAM there it was! We took a guided tour and were pleased with the results. We learned a tremendous amount and were simply in awe. We ate paninis and sipped coke and admired the massive structure in addition to taking lots of fun photos that I look forward to posting. Wish I could say more, the details, but theres just too much to share!

Following Rome, we took a random trip to Sorrento, Italy. BEAUTIFUL. The bed and breakfast we stayed at was like a dream come true. We were surrounded by familties, not backpackers. Luckily, we were paying the backpackers price. We were super lucky and soaked in it. We loved the relazxation so much we stayed three nights. We spent a day exploring, drinking wine, and enjoying the beach. Another was spend on Capri; busy, busy, BUSY with tourists. Cool, but we much rather preferred our BnB in teh country overlooking the meditranean.

Following Sorrento, we traveled to Florence, Italy. I was especially excited to come here because this is where Julie VanWagenen studied for a semester. After the stories I heard from her, I couldn{t wait to relate. It lives up to all your stories, Jules! On the way here, I thought it would be an uneventful day of traveling. The journey was a pleasent surprise. We randomly were able to travel first class on the EuroSTAR. Compapred to what we have been venturing on, we were NOT expecting air conditioning or pleasent smelling cabins. THIS WAS AWESOME. we even had treats! We had been so used to traveling, being rushed. As we were playing cards, we put our ipods in, separetly. I listened to the DAvid CrowderBand, it was an excelletn choice while traveling across Italy. The view, the loving glances from luke, and the music made the trip one to remember. Jesus and I had a wonderful moment; like a daddy-daughter date. I was grounded and reminded for my purpose for this trip.

That same day, we visited the Tower of Pisa! DANG! that place was cool, and busy! It{s like disneyñland around all the tourist spots. Its wonderful but hard to enjoy when there is hundreds of people all around you. We attempted to take some really awesome pics but they turned out, um, a group picture of random people ha. IT was still worth experiencing! Luke and I ordered a pizza and two beers and just enjoye our date nmight. Who can complain right???

Today, we RELAXED. we are staying at this awesome hostel and actually really enjpy the vibe here. We took a nap, explored the city, and ate gelato. Tomorrow we are taling a wine tour! Its an all day tour and im very very excited! ive always wanted to go wine tasting and there is no better place than tuscany!!

My time is up in 2 min. I cant edit, or fix my mistyping. opps! not that my emotions are any consideration to you, thanks for reading this anyway. we appreciate your support! more importantly, I thank luke for letting me simply be me, and pushing me to be a better person...

after the wine tour we are heading to Venice! we will be there for about 2 days then we are goibg to Switzerland. We will miss Italy but are looking forwrad to another country. I cant eat anymore pizza or my a** will only get bigger!!

ciao ciao!!!!

Italy... Quick update!!

2010-08-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! This has to be super quick, unfortunately. I love to write and have so much to say but I don't have enough time now! So we made it safe!! Everything has gone so smoothly and it's been quite the adventure in 5 days!The flight to London wasn't bad, although we got no sleep. We arrived in London, droppedvour luggage off as planned and set off to catch our flight to Rome. Thanks to my perfect directions (I was so proud) we caught everytime and bus and navigated perfectly. It was exhausting though! We were sooooooo tired. By the time we got to Rome we didn't know what day or time it was. Luckily, we stayed at a nice place with our own private bathroom and bedroom. It was the perfect end to two long days of travel. We woke up Saturday morning and made our way to the Vatican city. In this time frame, I can't go into detail and j would ruin explaining it if I tried to crunch it in. I will go into detail later when I'm not typing on my itouch with10 min of Internet time. We spent so much time at the Vatican we didn't have time for the colleseum. We did have time for the trevi fountain and the Spanish steps, and some gelato too. Yum! We than drank wine and ate pizza for dinner, best day ever! Well, I thought until we went to the colleseum on Sunday. We were both in awe! Again, more detail to come. We also toured the paletine and saw ruins dating back to 750 bc! It was incredible! That same day we ventured to sorrento. We didn't arrive until 11 pm or so. It was a CRAZY adventure to find our hostel but it was well worth it. It's a bed and breakfast and it's adorable. We are in sorrento now in the middle of olive and lemon trees looking at the medittranean sea. Our room is so cute! We are staying three nights total. Yesterday we spent the day at the beach. We stumbled upon a secluded beach area and loved every minute. We jumped off rocks into the sea and found a rest right on the edge. It was so beautiful and adventurous!! Now, we are waiting fpr our ride to take us to Capri! We are going to the blue grotto. If you don't know what it is, google it. We've heard it's amazing and are excited to explore! Tomorrow is a long day of travel. We will pass through Naples, go back to rome, pass through Pisa to see the tower and by nightine be in Florence. We will be in the Tuscany area for about 3 days. That's the plan now but the schedule keeps changing so who knows. Gotta go! I promise to blog better when I have an actual computer. The people, food, scenery, and lifestyle has been such a blessing to experience. We still can't belive we have 20 more days before Ireland. We've only been I'm one country and still have 5 to go! Praise god, he's incredible! I pray everyone gets a chance to experience something like this. Thanks for your patience! I life is findiing everyone healthy, happy, and safe!

Love from the beautiful sorrento,

Kates

Itinerary!

2010-08-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

It's departure day baby!!!

We have been SO busy these last few days. We were up late packing last night and still have so many things to do before we catch our flight...today! This is going to be short and sweet but I'd like to escape the packing madness and jot down our tentative itinerary. We have our rail pass in hand and are ready to explore!!!

Today, we fly to London, store our Ireland luggage, and then depart for Rome. We arrive in Rome late Friday night and will be ready for an enterprising journey in the ancient city by Saturday morning. So here's the places we think we want to hit and in the order.

Italy
Rome
Capri
Pisa
Florence (Tuscany, thanks julie!)
Venice

Switzerland
Interlochen

Spain
Barcelona
San Sebastián
Marroca

France
Paris

England
London

...all within 25 days!

We are open to whatever and super duper excited!!! I'll try and post a picture of me with my pack. It's half the size of my body ha! Luke claims he's going to schlep (spelling?) my stuff around; probably true. hehe.

Okay, I seriously need to finish packing. I had planned to write a better, more informative blog but this is all I got!

Lastly, we need prayers. We are very anxious and ready for this but cannot do this without the support from home and of course, the big man upstairs. Please pray for safety, patience, good health, perseverance, wisdom to make smart decisions, and that we continue to appreciate and respect each other. We are traveling the two of us with backpack for a month, we'll need it!

...and we're off!!!

We LOVE you all and will be praying for everyone at home as well.

Ciao Ciao!!!!

K a t i e

Many Thanks.

2010-08-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

We are about to embark on this awesome journey but we couldn't have done it with out the support from our family and friends. I'd feel guilty all the way to Rome if we didn't take the time to give our thanks. I'm writing, but the appreciation comes from Luke as well.

Mom and Dad: ah hem. Writing this the day before departure is probably not the best; I'm trying to do this with a giant lump in my throat! I was glad the shock factor wasn't as bad when, a year ago, I mentioned this trip. I guess a lifetime of "katie" surprises such as the shooting and traveling to Africa alone, doesn't make Ireland seem so outrageous. Since the beginning you were calm, cool, and very supportive. You've been such an example for Luke and I and have never shown anything besides love and an abundant about of encouragement. THANK YOU for loving me, for loving the man I love, and for being the rock in our family since day one. I love you, i'll miss you, and I look forward to sharing our adventure together across seas, once again. No Malaria this time, mom :]

Mark and Roxy: Where do I begin? Both of you have taken me into your home like your own daughter. Without your casita, coffee in the morning, and dinner every night we could have never prepared for this upcoming endeavor! I'm just kidding, kinda. Truthfully, your family has become my own and I am so thankful and blessed to share my life with you. Luke and I have learned so much from our daily conversations, and casual lazy evenings. I really can not express my gratitude enough for raising Luke the way you have; he's a fine young man and you both deserve two thumbs up. Thank you for accepting and loving the "katie" in me. I love you both, and look forward to hopefully spending Thanksgiving with you in Ireland!!!

Mel and Fred: I'm sure gonna miss you two. Who lets people live rent free? YOU DO. Financially, you helped us save some bills. However, living with you was such an example and a learning experience for me. I love all the late night or early morning conversations. I feel like the luckiest sister to have such an inspiring couple as my example. Luke and I have a lot of live up to but your protection, prayers, and guidance is much appreciated. Thank you for loving me, loving Luke, and supporting us along the way. We certainly could not have done this with out you.

Nicole and Andy: I thought I was lucky with my own family, but having you guys is the cherry on top. As a couple you have encouraged, guided, and loved us ALL along the way. Watching you get married, and plan a life together has been such an incredible experience to watch. We are constantly eyeing in awe and are so proud and honored to be so close to you. Andy, Luke has looked up to you since the day we knew you existed. He is so in love with you and I'm lucky he has such an awesome mentor. We love you both and still hoping you'll surprise us in the Emerald Isle!

Kelly and Jared: Lessons. Love. Patience. We have learned so much from you, both. Your realness and love for each other is one of the greatest examples we could see. Thank you for making us a part of your life while supporting and loving us all the way from a different state. Kelly, I cannot WAIT to see you in Ireland. As sisters and friends I'm so thankful I have such willing and supportive people that are traveling around the globe just to see me. You are one of the coolest, intelligent, and most unique individuals and your own traveling experiences have given me the courage for this trip. I love you. I'll miss you. I'll see you soon!!!

To all of our friends, extended family, and anyone I didn't specifically mention above. With a gracious heart, THANK YOU. To the girls at school who inspired and supported me from the beginning, thank you for that little going away shin-dig. IT. WAS. AWESOME; it made me feel incredible special.

For those of you who spend most weekends or night at four kegs with us, thanks. You're friendship has been built off nothing but laughter, fun, and a significant amount of love. Thanks for dancing with us at the Bon Voyage party, you rule!!!

Bestest friends, I'll miss you!!! It's the best feeling that no matter what part of the world were in, we will be forever close. You make my world a much brighter place. Thank you for your patience, devotion, and support the whole way through. I'm hoping to see you across the world!!!!

Jesus, above all, thank you. Not a day goes by that I do not feel blessed. Thank you for showing each of us how to love and be loved. Without you, we'd all be nothing. I appreciate the curiosity and zest you supply. You've created in me, a new heart. I love you.

Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS MADE THE JOURNEY POSSIBLE!!!!!!

<3

T-Minus 11 days. Crap.

2010-07-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Can you believe we leave in 11 days?! Oh my, people! We both are a mix of stress, excitement, and overwhelmed with the current to-do list. I mean, let's be honest, we are slackers! We have been trying to enjoy the company of those we won't see for a long time and the list is just getting l o n g e r and l o n g e r.

But it's okay.

Miraculously, we have managed to really help each other out with out biting each others heads off. While still trying to finish summer school and his last week at work, we've made a great team. On Saturday, I took my Praxis 2 test which is my last and final test to receive my license to teach. This gentleman woke up at 5am just to make me breakfast; it was his day off, too. It's been a nice and fairly smooth planning process. We are 11 days away. Yes, our journey across the world for 5 months is 11 days away.

All of this has brought us so many new topics of discussion. When I was planning my trip to Africa, it was a solo endeavor. Now, I'm expected to share an agenda? YES and I'm happy about it! It's been a research project, duo style. We both are very excited not only to grow and experience as individuals, but as a young couple c r a z y about each other. It's not everyday that you get to wake up and anticipate the unknown. It's enigmatic. Each day closer I get stronger butterflies, only because my life is about to change...considerably.

We've sat down and jotted some goals; a mission.

Here's a glimpse, only a small excerpt.

Pray continually.
Spend an entire day, with out knowing the time.
To smell fresh, Italian homemade bread from a tiny cafe and write about it.
To sip wine accompanying random people in Barcelona.
Skydive over the Swiss Alps.
Meet a Liechtenstein fellow.
To be indiscriminate.
Plan to be unsystematic (oxymoron, perhaps?)
Devote an entire day to hearing.
Fight, and make up.
Savor a pint at Oktoberfest in Munich.
Flirt in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Fancy a stress-free day.
Enjoy the scene of our favorite European futbol game.
Indulge in café au lait.
Write. Read. Sketch. Get lost.

"We seek to delve into the world unknown; The foreign physical latitudes alongside the foreign conscious. We carry ambitions to grow individually and as two people devoted to our adoration. Above all, we desire a shit load of fun."

Our apologies, although were promising to share MOST of our life with the world, some stuff is better kept unpublished. Not in a perverted context. Rather, a camaraderie, esoteric kind of manner. It keeps us fun, fond, and guarded.

We will continue to post our adventures packing and preparing. As of now, we really should attempt getting some rest.

If anyone has any tips or places that are a "must see" please let us know. We are walking in blind and totally open to all suggestions. Keep checking back for updates!!!

Cheerio!

K
&
L

har-de-har

2010-07-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

This weekend was too good to pass up writing about it. It was spent in the company of my family in San Diego. Melody and I planned this weekend some time ago when we were looking at each other teary eyed on her couch, missing our family. Since our parents moved, the city of bright lights suddenly grew extremely dark. We booked our flights and long awaited Thursday, July 15th flight number 2274. Now, five days later, I'm sitting sunburned on a half deflated air mattress listening to Alan Jackson's Precious Memories feeling extremely blessed.

Lets be honest here. We all know I'm a creature of many emotions, one that thinks deep and feels deeper. Obviously, after months of being away and one weekend to make up lost time, it was inevitable that I was going to feel... with a heavy beating heart. Oh friends, I feel restored.

Immediately after class on Thursday, Mel and Fred picked me up the from beautiful UNLV campus and we headed straight to the airport. After Southwest seemed to lose my reservation, they recovered my existence and gave me priority seating. I was so excited to board first after business class; I was lucky enough to snag the very FIRST row. Well, big mistake. My giddiness was about 5 steps ahead of any logical thinking because there was so room to store my luggage, or my sisters. I embarrassingly had to work my way through the next 15 aisles, annoying every sweaty passenger, just to find a place to stow. Then, complete the walk of shame and return to my first row...against traffic. The oh so pleasant flight attendant gave me a look, I smiled and felt my face get hot. The worst part is I knew my sister was going to have to repeat the exact process when she stepped on board. Watching her was quite amusing. We giggled and enjoyed a nice conversation with the professional single woman next to us. Needless to say were almost the last ones off the plane due to our predicament; I took the blame. The adventure was a great start to the appealing weekend ahead.

After a lovely greeting on Thursday, we woke up Friday feeling the fresh salt water air consume our lungs. We wanted to see the beach and enjoy the fresh air considering we were practically dried up from the Vegas inferno. We strolled along, windows down, aviators on, enjoying every bit of the peaceful drive to La Jolla Cove. The weekend before I had made a short trip with Luke to San Diego. We ate at this comforting, delicious, elegant joint called Cody's. My mom had the bright idea to order Cody's togo and park our rears on a bench, above the crashing La Jolla waves. We scarfed and were pleased with our dining affair. We broke a sweat as we walked around the cove taking in the beauty and magnificence of God's handiwork.

That evening we went to the Padres/Diamondbacks game. Who can deny that beer, dogs, excellent weather, and 7th inning stretch doesn't set the stage for a happy night? The only thing that was missing was our loves. We missed our boys but it was refreshing being with the original 5 family members prior to wedding rings and prego-ness. It was eventful for all participants.

Saturday was captivated by a family of beach bums. We packed our picnic, squeezed into our bikinis and set sail for Moonlight, maybe Moonlit, beach in Encinitas. IT WAS PACKED. Jared attempted to surf, my pops and I made it to 48 playing shuttlecock (why do they call it that? I mean, REALLY), and we all just chilled. Oh, I also peed in the ocean...twice.

Following the swell day we repeated our windows down, music up, kind of car drive back to La Jolla Cove to watch the sun set. There was an energy at the sea that day. Maybe it was my own childish manner but I was happy to be at that place at that time. Again, I was missing Luke, but the love and presence of my family was overwhelming.

Sunday was a day I knew Jesus loved me. Don't get me wrong, I know everyday, but it was a special day that my heart needed. We attended Kelly's church FLOOD bright and early on Sunday. Getting ready to praise God with your family is a very cool and special bond. The comedian Michael Jr. was a guest that day! OH people, he was HILARIOUS; he created a har-de-har in us all. He made me laugh like a little kid with no worries. It was the first time in a long time that I felt bricks come off my shoulder one by one. Jesus was patching my stressed heart and my soul was rejuvenated. I watched as each member in my family welled in tears at one point or another during the service. It was very real; we all felt very alive in our own way. Thank you Lord, for all your blessings that day. Following the service, we strolled the Hillcrest farmers market. By the time I left you could have rolled me out! The edible material available, blue-grass live band, and the zest among all the vendors made for an accomplished Sunday afternoon. The only picture I took was of a bucket of flowers. It's a shame I didn't capture more but I assure you, my taste buds were capturing much delight. Following the market we rode bikes along Mission bay for nearly two hours. It was a bit hectic at times considering the tremendous amount of tourists but it was still fun to frolic along the bay.

Today, my mom and I had a girls day out. We talked and talked about fun stuff while exercising on the sand. Then we went shopping because I needed some goodies for my approaching Europe trip. We also ate at a secret cafe. Literally. It was called The secret Cafe in Del Mar. Excellent choice. Then we had a girls date with Gamma and my sis to watch the Bachlorette. We are all totally and embarrassingly hooked. It was nice to spend time with the ladies, especially my sister Kelly.

Now, I'm exhausted. It's been quite some time since I really wrote, more like pressed away on my keyboard. My contacts are nearly stone and they hurt. Nonetheless, I'm glad I shared my weekend. Tomorrow will be a sad farewell but I will see my parents again at our Bon Voyage party next weekend.

Holy crap we leave in two weeks and two days!!! Eurotrip, here we come baby!

ciao ciao from the sunny San Diego!!!

Feelin' a bit girly.

2010-06-02T18:22:00.000-07:00

After doing laundry because I had no more clean underwear, scrubbing the gross dirt slime of my tub, and making my bed after a month, I just manicured my toes.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit, uh...contaminated. Dirty cups next to the bed, purse full of receipts, bushy eyebrows, and seriously neglected toes; I finally fed my personal life some attention. Embarrassing enough, it's done now so I can express the abundant feeling of femininity. To all my ladies, why didn't you tell me I needed to trim, shape, and shave?!

Well well well, for those interested, Luke graduated!!! yay!!! Three years long distance, and we did it! I'm so proud of him!!! Cheers love!!!! <3

Things have been busy busy ever since Luke moved home. He started selling shoes at nordys (we just can't get enough, apparently) and I've continue to maintain the emotional and stressful Katie that i've been the last um....... 8 months. I'm now in my second practicum in a third grade class. It's interesting. Ha. I have one student with Tourettes Syndrome, and one child with Autism. They d o n o t l i k e e a c h o t h e r. It's a handful to say the least. HOWEVER, I am learning a great deal and have come to laugh and absolutely love both of them. It's quite fantastic actually.

I'm still adjusting to having my parents gone.... i miss them damn it! Life just isn't the same :/ It doesn't help that I'm jealous that they watch the sunsets 4 times a week and I'm sweating as soon as the sun sees me. On the contrary, we have developed a alternative forms of communication. Since my mother and I are obsessed with weddings she emails me these super creative/amazing wedding blogs. No, I'm not engaged.... yet. But I can still dream and plan for one day, right? If you are getting married, come to me, because I have some GREAT ideas and since I can't plan my own right now, I'll plan yours! BUT I won't give you all my glorious ideas. I'm saving them for myself. Just sayin'.

I'm fully engrossed.

Other than trying to budget my money, I'm getting very excited for the future. There are thousands of little blessings all around me and I enjoying watching them mold me and those around me. See life through a different lens, it's awesome.

Anyway, I'm not feeling witty or like I have too much else to say. I think i'm going to extend my girly day and go have one of these!!! Ciao ciao!!!

feeling flirty, katie.

Thursday, at 1:00.

2010-04-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

New job, new home, new beginnings. It's been a crazy semester but it's only temporary... right?

I've been so busy I haven't even had time to do laundry, dishes, pluck my eyebrows, or catch up on my guilty pleasures (maybe that's good!). My lunches consist of string cheese, granola bars, and anything else packaged. hurry. quick. gotta go!

However, it's thursday, at 1:00. nothing due tomorrow; no work tonight. just me, cafe rio, red box, and my keyboard. convivial.

Yesterday was my last day with my first graders. It was so bittersweet. A little more on the sweet side than the bitter. Their tender little voices stood in front of me and one by one and read me a card they made. Need I say more? I lost it!!! It was extremely humbling; it confirmed my decision to become a teacher and gave me the courage to remain patient while trying to finish school.

While wrapping up finals and classes, my professors have all left us making the statement about teaching. "It's not a profession you choose for money; you're choosing to make a difference". It's hard to feel like I'm making a difference, but, I do know that those little faces are changing me and altering my inner core. Instead of helping, I'm being helped. It's a great feeling to recognize that everything I'm working towards can and will have a large impact on my life. Here's a youtube video that my professor played in class today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpog1_NFd2Q

Watch this video, you won't regret it!

Anyhoo, Luke moves home in T minus 16 days! I can hardly believe it. I remember when we first started dating and we were non-chalantly discussing future plans. We knew that we would spend three years long distance if were serious about dating; it just didn't seem possible. Then we fell in love and haven't looked back! I'm so proud of him for graduating and so very excited to FINALLY have him home. hooorayy!!

I recently went to Reno to surprise Jessica for opening night of her Grease play. She was amazing!! I'm not just being biased, she was incredible! I was just like a proud parent! I was choked up the whole time! She was glowing!!!!

Looking past the stress, this semester is coming to an end. 5 years down, summer/fall to go. Graduation, here I come. hayyyyy now.

Flights are being booked, plans are in the making.

sayonara,

KATIE!

running = best stress cure

2010-03-17T14:17:00.001-07:00

This it totally unedited, completely raw; un-cute. I just ran and feel completed rejuvenated and felt the need to just write.

Today I was a total ball of stress. I woke up at 8! I was supposed to wake up at 6 45. I was late to my school to teach. Then one hour after being there I realized I forgot summer registration was today. I ran home, tried to register and ran into issues with the college of education. surprise surprise. I ran back to the school finished teaching about leprachans and rainbows for St. Patties day and tried to catch a break. I came home to an email from my dad that was so sweet, so incredibly thoughtful. My dad is an amazing man and he has a tendency to make me cry.. happy cry. This time it was happy but the tears just made me break down! I've been completely overwhelmed with school, work, the move, scholarship letters, deadlines, and life. Out of exhaustion, stress, and possible PMS I just broke.

That's when I put on my running shoes. Three miles later and some black eyed peas I was a new woman! Its a beautiful day outside and here I was whimpering over nonsense. Now i'm well, cured.

That's all, nothing valuable to the outside world.

just me,

park it.

2010-03-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

Lately, there have been so many little blessings that I fail to really, genuinely appreciate. Usually when they occur, my heart softens, and my brain immediately translates feelings to terminology on scraps of paper. I babble. However, lately, I have had lack of effort and time to really park myself, ponder, and assign the little moments of gratitude to others. Some things aren’t sharable; particular thoughts are boring to those attempting to listen to Katie’s babbles. But lately, many rather cool changes have occurred; it’s time to park it.

My parents are moving to San Diego. I should punctuate that sentence with an alternative mark called an exclamation point, but it would be inconsistent with the way I’m feeling. That’s rude. The blessing is that my dad said many prayers when he lost his job in December. Watching my parents survive, thrive, and persevere has been medicine for me. THAT is a blessing. Sadness overwhelms my selfish side because it leaves insecurity about the stability in our family. However, they are so happy to live in their favorite city, so happy to be in love, and so thankful that God answered prayers better than expected. BLESSING.

This semester has been a massive blur of commutes, cute voices and little hands, rubrics, and children’s literature. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been completely overwhelmed, exhausted, tired, bushed, and did I mention fatigued? Still, I’ve seen the glimpse of graduation/Ireland approaching. The blessing in the tiredness is that I’m learning. I’ve been in a first grade classroom this semester and I can’t explain the little joys those young devils bring me. For example, I was teaching a lesson on the 100^th day of school. The creative workshop was to draw a self-portrait of yourself as if you were 100 years old. A cute little devil raised his clammy hand and with wide blue eyes and concerned trembled voice asked, “Ms. Jozsa, will I go to heaven when I am 100 years old?” I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or just marinate in the moment. So, I did just about it all. BLESSING.

An unmentionable name about an unmentionable topic has really made me laugh lately. This friendship is unswerving, authentic, and extremely agreeable… forever. Thanks to YOU for all the phone calls and fun adventures. BLESSIN’ ya’ll.

Although the entire globe knows I’m mad about Luke, it never seems a sufficient amount. That’s just the way I wanted love to be when I dreamed about it as a young woman. I wanted to scream to humanity on the top of a cliff so the entire universe could be informed. Even if that were scientifically achievable, it wouldn’t be adequate. We’re not perfect; yet it’s irresistibly ideal. Valentine’s day was just what the doctor would have ordered for a bad case of stress. It wasn’t because of the flowers, notes, dinner, or presents. Those materials were just the cherry on top of a handsome man who knows how romantically articulate his emotions on an ever so often occasion. It’s like my dad towards my mother. A true anecdote of romance; a true vivid and wildly imperfect BLESSING.

There’s one more. My senses. While recently visiting Santa Monica Pier, I took a moment just to appreciate my senses. What I heard was soothing. What I saw was magical. What I smelled was welcoming and powerful. What I tasted was salty. What I felt was tenderness. It’s the little senses that we take for granite each and every day. Although I’ve taken the time now to sit and appreciate, I spend the majority of my time letting stress and frustration get the better part of me. It’s revitalizing to share, energizing for the soul.

Psalm 67:1-2 May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.

Really,

Kates.

PS: Andy and Nicole's 80's birthday bash this weekend. so exciting!

What are your blessings?

share.

quick visual update

2010-02-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

Luke and I did it! The anticipated 1/2 marathon was amazing; difficult, yet incredible.

Lemme tell you, finishing that dang thing was one of the best feelings I have experienced. For those interested in running one... do it! It is well worth the training and all the other challenges. The entire experience was extremely rewarding and actually quite emotional.

December was a great month! Luke was home for 5 weeks which = happy Katie.

We celebrated his birthday "Old Vegas" style on Fremont Street. It was a blast!

Beard, no bueno!

My parents were in San Diego for Christmas so we were with Luke's family the whole time. Although I missed my family, I feel so blessed to join another. We fed the homeless christmas morning... it was the best (freezing) morning in a long time. We dined at the fabulous IHOP after...

Following Christmas was New Year's and Katrina's 21st Birthday bash... coming home at 7 am. NICE.

View when we got home. opps!

my best friends!

Huskers Game, go Mikey!

My Birfday.

Work.

School.

Work.

School.

Firstgraders.

whoops, there she goes.

2009-12-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

With a mixture of buffoonery, selling apparel for legal tender, and a life consumed of lesson plans, I have

regrettably put blogging on hold for um…. 4 months.

There has been much to say and little effort on my part to exploit the thrilling details of routine. Lets explain. I work, I go to school, I run, and I skype. In between I drink a beer out of a frozen golf bag mug, obsess over twilight, and miss the love of my life.

Um let's do a quick visual recap:

Luke and I went on a cruise to the Caribbean! We went to Florida Keys, Cozumel, and Belize. INCREDIBLE.

Fall favorites:

phew.

That's a wrap.

ps. Were running the Las Vegas Half Marathon. Say a prayer.

It's one of those days...

2009-04-06T18:51:00.001-07:00

well hello world. Sorry it has been so long since my last post, I've been all around lately. Just a brief over view of things in february and march: Well first, i CELEBRATED three years of life on February 24th. It was the anniversary of the shooting; a very exciting, fulfilling, miraculous day. Every year, my emotions and thoughts have changed. This year, I was nervous yet thrilled. Waking up that morning was evidence that Jesus loves me more than I could ever imagine. One word stuck with me..

Purpose.

Then came Valentine's Day. Of course I spent it with lukey! We went to Disneyland. We were such little kids and enjoyed every second.

School, school, school, then Spring break! Unfortunately, it was not spent in quite the chipper mood. My Uncle Pancho, was killed in a motorcycle crash while racing. It was instant; he went the exact way he would have wanted to. However, we miss him dearly. Since, we have learned wonderful things about his life and the kind of person he was. For me, I learned a great deal about trust. There is a powerful message in trust. Fully trusting God, is very difficult to do. Many say they do, although many really do not fully understand. After having a relationship with God my whole life, spring break was the first glimpse of full, lasting trust. Rest in Peace Uncle Pancho, I love you so.

I had a girls weekend with Julie and her mom in San Francisco.. it was perfect! Shopping, food, face masks, wine, and sauna.. um hello!!! It was great! The only thing missing was Katrina :[

It seems I have hardly caught my breath since spring break. March went faster then it came! I spent some weekends drinking wine, tanning with my pi phi girls, and having many sleepovers in Ash p's bed. It was been wonderful spending time there. I only have a few weeks left of Pi Phi... crazy!

This past weekend though, I spent the weekend with my boo! As always, I fall more and more in love with him everytime I am with him. He's been my missing puzzle piece for years and it so refreshing everytime I spend time with him. We went camping in San Diego.. it was incredible! We drank our favorite beer, cooked campfire food, and laughed the whole time. (Were camping here so don't judge!)

Now, I am stressing about summer jobs, my future career, and my math test tomorrow!! ughh.. i'm soooo over school! I'm trying to take a different approach this time though. Usually, I would be a wreck ball. Welp, the wreck ball has expired!!! I go home for Easter this weekend, woo hoo! I can't wait to spend time with the family. I also have my advising session at UNLV. So, I will finally know my exact graduation date, figure out all my transfer stuff, and be on my way!

I don't really know what else to say. I'm at a transition stage right now. Finishing up this semester, saying goodbye to UNR and Pi Phi, and counting down the days until Luke moves back to Vegas. I'm very happy and finding peace in simple things.. Until next... ciao.

"I will never forsake you"

-Jesus

not a wallflower tonight.

2009-02-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

Why are artichokes so good? They barely have any flavor yet they are so scrumptious. Currently I am eating a fresh cooked meal and drinking a glass of wine. I've come quite accustomed to the quiet; it's actually quite perfect. I've become the girl in the window making dinner. You know in the movies they show people through the window not caring about world beyond the walls. And they always attached an emotional feel to it, sad or happy. That's me every night.

It's my unwind time. I have never had so much alone time and I never knew how challenging it could be. It's pushing me to actually be, well me. Obviously throughout life the self defining "me" changes constantly but I'm being pushed, and thriving off of it. Coming to to Reno has not been what I expected. It's been better. At times, I want to scream and cry and instead of being the girl in the window I want to be a wallflower. However, it's allowed and still will allows so many thoughts and healing to occur. I was in yoga yesterday and had a sudden urge to talk to my mom. Like many mother daughter relationships there were many broken areas. Not realizing it all these years but suddenly those last ten minutes of yoga I had tears in my eyes. I grew scared and questionable about my relationship when I knew it was already a positive healthy connection. But, like all relationships people get hurt; people need to heal. There was built up emotion for the both of us. Being able to openly discuss issues from years ago made me want to shout for joy. Being able to understand and discuss the journey of a teenage girl and a frighten ted mother was such a freeing feeling. It was a moment that I had anticipated for years. Mom, I'm so thankful we patched open wounds; your guidance and wisdom has made me a much better person. Thank you for teaching me about forgiveness, humility, and the ability to love unconditionally...

I know when I publish my scattered thoughts it seems so repetitive but its moving how much emotional progress occurs through this. I wouldn't care if one person didn't read this, but the "not caring" is quite liberating. Although I'm not always this deep, when writing the depth just pours out. Don't worry, I keep the unmentionable stuff to my self and my favorite person in the world... Luke.

Which brings me to my next topic. It's incredible how much someone can transform your life. Of course the butterflies and googly feeling when you first date someone is unforgettable, but it's the connection, trust, and absolute unconditional feeling that consumes me that continues to draw me closer to him everyday. The best part about this complete bliss is know that for the rest of my life, he will continue to help me become a better person. It's easy to express myself him, he understands me. More than that, he accepts me. His patience, concern, dedication and complete openness makes me the luckiest girl on the planet. I'm so thankful that we just kinda "spun" into each others arms. I couldn't go one day without you. Great is the joy you bring.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push.

Joann Thomas

When God Winks

2009-01-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

Today is a wonderful day. Regardless of my hours of homework, chem class, and dreadful workout, today is and will be a wonderful day.

I must admit I probably had the best winter break I have ever had. I did nothing besides play cards, drink yummy beer, and lounge with people I love. I can't remember having days in a row where there was nothing important that had to get done. I wouldn't want a life of laziness but my goodness it was wonderful for few weeks!!

The New Year is always an exciting time for me. It means all over the world people are thinking about goals. Whether or not they pursue them who knows but its awesome to know that people are out there thinking about positive life change. As I said last year, every day could and should be a day of change. I can honestly say that I did focus on that last year and so many amazing opportunities came my way. However, I still could work harder and will do it this year!

For family that doesn't know... I made the Dean's list!! All that hard worked paid off.. woo hoo!!

That was a definite goal and it felt damn good to complete it. And, mel graduated from nursing school.. sooo jealous yet soooo proud!

So lately I have been thinking about the power of coincidence. I may have talked about it a while ago but there is this book and its called When God Winks. I highly recommend to anyone of any faith. I changed my life and I will continue to always share this with people. This book is about coincidence and the power behind it. The authors main message is "If you were God, and couldn't be seen, couldn't be heard, and couldn't touched, how would you speak to people?" Especially non believers or people that see coincidence as weird experiences that appear ironic. BUT, the author describes a coincidence as a God wink. Obviously I can't write and explain the whole idea right now but it is awesome. It gives purpose to everything we do and it helps us feel like we are in the right place at the right time. He says that every coincidence is planned.. there is no such thing as a coincidence. So every time you say "Isn't that so weird, what are the chances of that happening" There is a deeper meaning for why that occured. So he suggests writing them down whenever you find yourself saying that. This prevents forgetting it and later you can recap. There is always an end to a story and so many coincidences are left completely unanswered. Now before I read this book, I never exercised any thought to this strange realm of weird happenings. I never really thought much about coincidences. Truthfully, I never even paid attention to them past the 2 minutes it happened. But after, let me tell you it was almost creepy. I noticed so much more. Here's one of the greatest examples of a God Wink for me...

OK so I was in Tanzania at the time, It about a month into my trip when Luke called me one morning. (Him calling was always exciting since communication was hard but this was especially exciting!) He said that a kid from Africa goes to his school. He heard him talking in the cafeteria and hes pretty sure hes from Tanzania. Now people, first of all, Luke's school has about 2300 kids TOTAL. It's smaller than my own high school. Second, it is very very difficult to come to America if you are from Africa. Third, do you know how big Africa is and how many people live there? The chances of someone being from Africa at Luke's school is crazy but actually the same country that I was in?? It was so strange. Anyway.. so I told him he must talk to him and find out more. I was so excited. So about two weeks later I get this phone call at 5 am my time. It was luke saying he has someone that wants to talk to me. It was this kid! We started talking and I was able to speak Swahili with him. I started asking him where he was from within the country and I almost dropped the phone. I was in the exact town he was from. I mean what?? While we were 12000 miles apart, I was in his hometown. It was so ironic. So we exchanged emails and sure enough one week later I was sitting having coffee with his brother in Arusha, Tanzania. Throughout my trip I spent a lot of time with his family; there were sooo sooo good to me. I ate dinner with them on my last night and was so humbled but the compassion of this family. Now, that is a fricken God Wink. There is no way I can think that was an accident. Not only did it confirm emotions for Luke, but it closed all my insecurities about my trip. Without a doubt I knew I was falling in love with the right person, and I knew that trip was all part of this huge growing experience for me. I was on the right path.

Well this is getting so long. The reason I even brought it up was since this book, the big and little things pop out. My living situation as changed and it was a difficult transition. But there was a God Wink throughout it all and that is why today is a wonderful day.

Approach today with a wide open heart.

amani,

k

sometimes untitled is just so fitting.

2008-12-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe this semester is coming to an end. I think a mix of stress, PMS, and transitioning into next semester is causing me to be quite emotional. Whenever change happens I go through this thought process and recall and condition all my experiences. Well, this semester was a great experience. It made me recognize so much about where my life is headed and also forced me to revisit some past hurts. When I left, I didn't realize how much was left behind. Filtering the bad relationships, places, and internal emotions was the best thing I ever did. It was something that I never truly had control over. I wanted everything to work out with no feelings hurt. Is that real life? Never. Finally, I learned that I actually can have control of my life and love myself in the process. That in fact is the best realization...ever.

Now, I am stressed about finals, moving, Christmas gifts, and anything else that chooses to pop up. However, I was blessed with great gifts at my pi phi christmas party. It was very merry and I appreciate all the love spread.

I don't really know what else to share. I just needed a break from math so I lit my candle, raised the tunes, and just sat. My mood is just blah. However, I'm praying for the heartbroken....

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is no end."

Face of Love

2008-11-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

Well Hello from good ol windy reno. It's a lovely day! Let me tell you I have been sooo stressed out this week. Test after test and speech after speech. I can finally say...I DONE! Well, for this week anyway, but hell yeah!

I am in a very chipper mood. I just tuned into my Christmas collection. It's crazy how much this music brings back soooo many memories. Good bad happy sad nonetheless, memories. One year ago I was teaching Christmas carols to cute little african kids. Oh how i miss that. I tried uploading a video but it wouldn't work.

So after reading my journal from Africa, I looked at what I did exactly a year ago. It didn't say much besides many things I am thankful for. My favorite was thank you for letting be me someone to somebody. I remember feeling that way. Now, being back and getting caught up in the stupid stuff again, I realize that I am still given the opportunity to be someone to somebody. I am somebody to many people. How cool! But am I thankful for that? Not since a year ago. Shame on me. Truly, shame on me. We as selfish people and can be somebody EVERYDAY and place.

This will be my though for the week and maybe if you're reading this you can join me. Let's ask ourselves: Who am I for that person? What can I do to be better for that stranger I see everyday, or my sisters I talked to daily, or family, or old friends. What somebody am I to myself?

Cheesy deep... ya ya ya. It cures me, get over it!

I have a piphi dance tomorrow yeeeaahhh!! The theme is glam rock.. im stoked! Luke arrives this evening, and then the parrtayyy begins!

Love you all. Cheers to Julie in the place I wish I was! love you girrrrl!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself:

everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

holy crap.

2008-11-13T16:53:00.001-08:00

Holy crap it has been one year since I was in Africa. I can hardly believe how fast time goes by. I haven't written in soooooooooooooooo long. Not that anyone really cares but I am dissappointed in myself. Although I have my own personal journals and ways of expressing myself, I think it is important for family to know what is going on. Now I assure you my life isn't near as exciting as it was a year ago, but I'm still loving it right????

So, where to start? I spent a semester and summer at home in Vegas. And now, I am back in Reno. It was a VERY quick decision but I'm very happy with it. I basically just came back to finish my senior year in Pi Phi. It's been amazing and a very positive healing experience! I will tell all about it later but quite frankly, I'm just not in the mood to write right now! But please check back because I WILL be sharing much more of MAH LIFE to those who are interested.

toodles.

mah love.

2008-01-14T22:07:00.000-08:00

Earlier this evening I arrived back home from a wonderful weekend in California. Visiting Luke, hanging out with my cousins, and playing football on the beach; who can complain right? It was refreshing :]

Ever since New Years I have been thinking about new and old "things" that I want to change this year. As most of the population, people are dieting, getting makeovers, and creating some sort of self renewal. I always try to set ambitious resolutions but they always seem to fade within a few weeks. So, this year I'm trying to focus in a more direct, positive, and detailed manner. January 1st is the beginning of 2008 but no different than any other day. I'm pushing myself to continue making goals and resolutions all year long. I'm not promising anything but sharing the changes I seek mentally seems to be helping...

So, with that here's a little of what is on my mind. The year 2007 was a huge roller coaster. Filled with tears, joy, and well...a year of learning. I made many drastic moves, choices, and focused quite a bit on myself. This year, I am really going to try and put others first. I have spent a good part of my life thinking what Katie wants. At the peak of my selfish moments I have hurt others, damaged my own self esteem, and unfortunately lost some friendships. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to admit it, but I find freedom in declaring my flaws. They say the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem right? Welp, I admit I can be very selfish! Those close to me and anyone willing to encourage help me work on this! Not only do I wish to put friends and family first, but strangers as well. An extra smile, surprise gift, or simple act of kindness to those I do not know goes along with putting others first. Community service is so fulfilling to me and actually very easy. As much as I wish I could fly overseas again it is just not feasible right now. But, help is needed even in the 702. So this year, I am attempting to help what lies in my own backyard. Still a task, but strangers are easy for me; sadly, the people I care the most about seemed to be the most pushed aside. Thus the need for change....now.

OK what else? Reaching out. Forgiving. Mending broken relationships. Every person I know has been hurt or is hurting from a broken relationship. Myself included. In the past few years I have had many people come and go. I believe it involves the realistic transition from high school to college, teen to adulthood. Nevertheless, losing valuable relationships sucks. Its reality that you aren't going to be friends with everyone but one can't use that as an excuse to pave the road of rocky relationships. Friendship editing can be healthy but that is not my focus. My focus is simply being a better friend and mending the broken pieces in friendships that are lacking in the "friend" area. This goes along with my selfishness and is something that needs improvement. No friendship is perfect and not one person is always to blame. But as for me and myself, I know I am capable of being a better friend thus the need for change...now. Friends please be patient with me :]

Another goal is continuing checking off things from my list of things to do before I die. Newly named my "Bucket List" since I saw the movie. I started my list along time ago but Africa felt damn good to check off. It renewed my inspiration and I don't want to lost sight of that. Like I have in the past, I refuse to go another year without checking some "do's" off. Who knows... tomorrow might be the last! Let's live for today people and start now!

That is plenty for now. I hope to have many "New Year's" throughout 2008. Every day is the start of a new year thus the need for change... now.

On you will go

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak

-Dr. Seuss

No place like home

2007-12-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

Wow...I don't really know where to start. It has been way too long since I have last written. As most of you know, I am back home... safe and sound. Missing Africa and the children with all my heart but comforted by the smells, sounds, and feelings of home...

To wrap up the end of my trip in this one blog would be difficult. Saying goodbye to the children, leaving my home away from home, and experiencing such closure was difficult to say the least. Once I left Living Water I endulged in a mini vacation in Zanzibar. Zanzibar is a tiny tropical island of the coast of East Africa. Stunning, quiet, and absolutely serene. Sleeping in stilted huts, sun bathing in hammocks, and swimming with wild dolphins in the Indian Ocean is something I never envisioned 4 months ago. It was the perfect end to a long journey.

Now, being back home has been challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love America but my goodness it was/is quite overwhelming to be back in the western world. I was in complete culture shock arriving in Africa; however, the shock on the return journey has been worse. Maybe it was because it was right before Christmas but the commotion and concerns of most the the people I observed were far from what I came from. I'm guitly too. My concerns were the same before I left. Hopefully, I can find an even balance between the two worlds; a lifestyle formed from two opposite, diverse cultures.

It is hard to believe that my Africa adventure is over and done with. Well, not "done" but my physical presence in that continent is gone. My trip was so anticipated. For months beforehand I was preparing for it; my whole life was altered prior to the actual departure date. Looking back and now looking forward I'm focusing on staying on two feet.

Going to Africa was the best choice I have ever made. All my concerns, worries, anxieties before were well worth the growth that happened within myself. As a human I struggle. I still will just like everyone else. However, I have finally reached the confidence in myself to acknowledge a struggle, consider my options, and put one foot in front of the other. I'm sick of playing the role as a victim. Everyone has hardships; everyone hurts. The second I started living my life not feeling like I was constantly under attack and quick to blame others, I actually started living again. It was a neccessary awakening and has profoundly changed my life, relationships, and love towards people. I'm so very thankful for the patient people, and the not so patient people. Ironically, all the missing puzzle pieces are slowing coming together...

I will continue to write on here as often as I feel. For now, I am Kates in Vegas. I will start school again in January while I am preparing for my next travel abroad...coming this fall! Please pray for my transition back to real life. It has taken quite the adjustment and I still have a long "journey" when entering reality again. Also, pray that I maintain the humility and surrendering lifestyle that I so badly want to keep. It's easier to be as "katie" as I want to be when I am away so I am searching for the courage to simply maintain. I want to live for others not myself; I truly believe there is no greater fulfillment.

Thank you to those who believed in me. Thank more for those who did not.

I have a burden to share my story. It is difficult because some people see my self expression as an act of selfishness, "look at me and my great deeds" kind of persona. The truth is far from that. As humans we are given the opportunity to find security and create an unending inspiration to overcome; I strongly hope that others will search within and simply invite change to take place. I needed to love myself before I could envision loving others. As for me and myself, I am completly surrendering my life, my story, my future...

May you have a safe, spontaneous, and joyful New Year.

mimi nina omwa sana!!

2007-12-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

Whoa! It has been awhile! I have good and bad news. I'll start with the bad. I HAVE MALARIA! Its sucks...bad! To make light of my poor condition I have written a really ridiculous, cheesy, and silly poem:

I'm not a very good poet so I could be wasting your time,
I'm sick as a dog in bed so I thought I'd bust a rhyme!

You see I have malaria and it's not a pretty sight,
don't worry I won't die so excuse your possible fright.

I've got the migraines and the fevers too,
also the body aches, dizziness, and really runny poo.

I think I forgot to mention the cold sore on my face,
I swear those parasites are eating me like it's a fricken race!

I know I'm really disgusting for sharing my poor state,
Good thing I'm in Africa not worrying 'bout a date!

This is an addition to "You know you are in Africa when",
I have so many others from places I have already been!

This definitely tops the charts of "adventures" while I'm here,
I can't take much more, thank goodness the end is near!

I hope you get a kick out of this cuz it's helping me feel better,
Hop on a plane to Africa and let's suffer together!!

I've shed some tears and laughed a lot,
"Hakuna Matata" is what I've been taught.

No need to worry, no need to fret,
I'll be better in no time on that I would bet.

It's good to make light of the things you can't control,
If life wasn't challenging it would be so very dull!!

I need to stop before I make a bigger fool,
I have Malaria people and it really isn't cool!!!

So, yeah. I knew it was a risk coming here but didn't really hope for it! I was much more afraid of it in America. Now that I am here, its part of every day life. The doctor think I got it in Dar es Salaam. That was my first week here! I was tested my 3rd week but the results were negative. As unfortunate as it is, I am glad I finally know what has been making me sick. The meds are working great and I am finally improving! No need to worry anymore Mom and Dad! :)

Moving on! I have been at Living Water for the past week and a half. Last week was great! VERY busy and exhausting but really really wonderful! There are 32 children at the center. We did so much. Last week was there last week of school so we were preparing them for the closing day party. It was great fun! We taught them two Christmas songs. It was very strange because its summer here. I just don't feel like it is the holidays! I'm actually just going to bullet point some things I did to make this shorter.

- carried more cow poop on my head for the garden and planted loads of vegetables
-canoed around Lake Deluti. The water was pee green but the surrounding areas were really pretty
-went to maasai camp and danced!
-played loads of soccer and volleyball with the kids
-read, colored, entertained the children!
-ate banana bread and watched Finding Nemo
-learned African "hip-hop" and was sore for days
-spent all night baking cookies and making fresh juice for the party

The party was interesting! The two volunteers and I had to do an African dance, dressed as Africans, singing in Swahili for the children! I have it on video but I am embarrassed to show it! haha it was quite humorous and the kids loved it. Good fun. The kids also performed! The school choir sang, danced, and even did a drama. It was so entertaining!!!

Then Saturday night I got sick and Sunday I went to the hospital. Then these last four days I have been relaxing and sleeping quite a bit. I think these meds make me a little delusional so I will probably re-read this and laugh at what I am saying!

This is my last weekend in Arusha! I seriously don't know where the time went! I leave Africa in 12 days.. insane! I go to Zanzibar on the 12Th and then home! Pray that I am better because I am really looking forward to laying on the beach and delighting in a mini vacation!

Thank you everyone for all the support! I am looking forward to my return and sharing all my adventures!

PEACE,

katie koo

clearing clutter

2007-11-24T02:07:00.000-08:00

Sister sister hello! I had so much fun making this and taking this picture. I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do :)

An all boys boarding school. This was SO cool to see. The boy in the front works for the orphanage and he took us to visit his school. Was actually a VERY nice campus and really interesting to see!

Robinson.

Good Hope Primary School that I have been teaching at.

awwwww. Flansista Livin and Amina Hidaya.

The boys bustin' a move! The live show is so much more entertaining!

Got fish eyes? yummy dinner...NOT.

Skydiving! Look at that tiny plane! The guy was my tandem.

The view from the plane just minutes before I jumped! 10,000 feet above ground!

Sweet get up.

Popati and Ally celebrating their birthday.

The Art of Simplicity

"When most people think of simplicity, they think of clean closets and empty spaces, organized lives and cleared schedules. While simplicity does manifest in those forms, inner simplicity does not depend on outward circumstances. When you clear the clutter within, you'll eventually see a corresponding outer simplicity. But if you are full of chaos within, even a simple life will become littered with unfinished business and unnecessary drama. Choosing to cultivate inner simplicity helps you develop a mature way of life that has its own focus and order, even if your daily life is busy and complex.

One of the most difficult things to do is to release things, ideas, and relationships that no longer serve us. We often save every old thing. 'Just in case'. You'll open a kitchen drawer and it will be filled with clutter: old rubber bands, pieces of string, used aluminum foil, and other miscellaneous bits and pieces. That kitchen drawer is a metaphor for life. Filled with things that you keep holding on to, pretty soon the drawer is so full you can't find anything at all. Even if you could remember what you have squirreled away in that drawer, you couldn't find it to use it. So you keep the drawer with more stuff you can't use and don't need anymore.

We do that with our lives, too. Old grudges, old resentments, old attitudes, and old ways of coping--we'll keep them around because we've gotten used to them and aren't sure we'd know what to do with out them. We'll stuff an old belief system that no longer works for us into a back drawer of our minds. Because it's still in there, it will affect our choices even when we are not conscience of it. For example, you might be meeting someone new who would be labeled in the old belief system as "unacceptable" and while you might now understand that every single person is beloved and beautiful, there will be a whisper of "unacceptable" even when you are trying your best to be open and friendly. Or you'll be looking in the mirror and suddenly realize it won't be the adult your seeing, but the unhappy junior high student who felt ugly and didn't fit in. You are still carrying that old image of yourself, even though it is useless baggage that you could live without.

Old judgements, old priorities, old belief systems, old ways of doing things are all clutter that needs to be taken out and examined. If it still works for you, keep it. But if it's no longer helpful or distracts you from what is most important, maybe it's time to let it go. Some ideas and things are like timeless classics. They wear well, they're made well, and they still look good and are useful after all these years later. Others are like clothing that is out of date and which no longer fits who you are now. It's time to let it all go and make room for something that is more aligned with who you are becoming.

It's time to choose voluntarily simplicity. Paradoxically, sometimes arranging things and clearing space in your outer life can help you in the process of creating inner simplicity. The very act of sorting material things can help you sort your thoughts and priorities. Begin by releasing the things that you can no longer care for and attend to. Start with material things-cleaning closets, attics, basements, storerooms, garages. Give away or sell what could be useful to others. Put back into circulation those things which you've been holding onto. Organize what you decide to keep so you know where everything is and what is available to you.

Then, take a look at your past an see what attitudes and beliefs no longer work for you. If you've been holding grudges against others, release them. If you've been hanging onto old regrets, let go and let God take care of the past. Long-standing judgments of others and of yourself not longer serve you. Wipe the slate clean and allow God to write a new story of hope and joy where the old one of hurt and anger used to be. Limited ideas and false beliefs keep you from exploring new ideas and widening your horizons. Let go of them, just as you let go of the old clothing you gave away. Let the healing energy of forgiveness release the limitations of resentment and destructive energy from your consciousness.

As you release the old, you'll make room for the good that God wants to bring into your life. You'll discover a new energy and zest, because you wont be using all your energy to carry around old baggage. Clearing the clutter allows the energy to flow more freely, and you'll bring more focus and clarity to the way you live your life."

Simplicity is.... releasing that which no longer serves me.

Let me tell you a little about my life. Right now, I am feeling completely surrendered to the environment around me. I feel as if all this was planned for me; just like I'm a pawn on a chess board. It is a bright Saturday morning in Tanzania. The air is alive and pure after a night of warm rain. I am a solo traveler today. I woke up to laughing children and a gurgling water spout attempting to provide but miserably failing. It was a big yawn and comfortable stretch that began my serene day in the land among the Africans. Being alone is one of the most precious gifts God gave us. Especially here, it is a gratifying indulgence. Escaping the noise of orphans and entering the hustle and bustle of the town has become an easy transition. Now, I find myself with a pen, a book, and a steamy cup of coffee.

I guess coming here I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know who I was going to be, who I was going to meet, and what exactly I was going to see. Now that I am here, I do not fear the future; the past consumes much of my thought process. Some of which I wish I didn't focus on and most of which I just need to let go. Reading The Art of Simplicity was not a waste of time. I opened to the exact page that lead to my inner freedom on this lovely day. Those that know me well know that it is a constant struggle to let go and move on. I dwell on my actions, others reactions, and bluntly care too much. This chapter in my book was exactly what I needed to read and I feel it is precisely accurate; I think many people should and could apply this to their own life. Re-read it many times for more is revealed after each attempt to understand. It took me several repetitions to actually comprehend and appreciate what the lyrical text meant to me. Although it is a very simple idea, sometimes it needs to jump out you to make you consider change among yourself.

Through out most of my life I have struggled with this concept. I have learned that people come and go, trials hurt then heal, and above all, the sun still rises and sets everyday. I have wasted too much energy on worrying about others and changes I wish I had made. The truth is the past is the past; It is there to learn. I have been hurt, and hurt others. I continue to say things I shouldn't and listen to gossip that only adds negativity to my inner self. But, letting go is a bridge to self maturation and I believe is a healthy way to look behind with a grin and forward with a smile. Not only does it shape me as a better person now, but releases any irritation towards others from the past. Life takes us where we allow it, and places people on the exact longitude and latitude that fits each individual. It feels damn good to forgive myself, and forgive others.

I know this is long but unfortunately you all caught me either pmsing or just completely content with my emotional standing right now. Since my homesickness faded after Thanksgiving, I have viewed my life and the small things I am thankful for. To me and most of America, Thanksgiving is a day that I really do feel grateful for. I strive to take quiet time and simply show appreciation. This Thanksgiving was unlike any other.

Although there are many, many things I am thankful for here's just a few:

- Imre my stuffed sock monkey

- A strong family with parents still happily married

- A wise girl once said " You need to give it up in order for God to step in." - Katie Ford

(To this day Katie doesn't know that I wrote that down in my journal after a long discussion about a year ago. At that moment, it was a very profound yet simple phrase and has helped me and will continue to do so. If by small chance you are reading this, thank you Katie.)

- THE bullet

- antibacterial gel haha

- American football

- The blessing that I don't have to wonder if I will ever go with out food

- The small, innocent, dirty hands of orphans

- The stranger that just became family

- most of all, this experience and the courage that so many others have proven to me

These are just a few of my favorite things. I am very blessed, and very thankful. I wish I gave myself more quiet time solely to reflect on the wonderfu blessings in my life. Perhaps from this day forward I can make that a goal and not wait for the next national holiday designated holiday to being thankful.

A quick wrap-up to my adventures. Tonight is my LAST NIGHT AT GOOD HOPE. I can hardly believe how quick time has gone. It is a bitter sweet ending! In the morning I am going to Living Water Childrens Orphanage. I will be there until December 11. Then, I am going to Zanzibar and then home! I can't believe its only a little over 3 weeks! I am still encountering very odd, humerous, adventures and feel like I could write a book after all this. I look forward to my return and sharing everything to who ever will listen!

I hope America is well and THANKFUL.

"The depth of one's letting go determines the depth of one's freedom."

-Karen Goldman

turkey turkey turkey

2007-11-21T03:10:00.000-08:00

Happy Turkey day! I knew there would be times when I felt the most homesick. Thanksgiving is definitely one of them. I miss being home and playing turkey football! Everyone eat some stuffing for me because my cuisine is not quite the same!

So today was a very cool day! I went to the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda! The Rwanda genocide herrings are held in Arusha so we went and sat in on them! You sit behind a glass and listen through headphones fro the interpretations but you can see everything going on. Its really very interesting that these trials are STILL running and will continue to for a long time! to be honest, it was really hard to follow along because it is all confusing but still... it was cool! I wish I wasn't ADD because I could have stayed longer but... i could only take so much.

I moved beds! No more top bunk from satan anymore! I know that means nothing to you but you have no idea how much better my sleep is. I can actually get up in the middle of the night to pee! Its great! too bad I only have about 4 nights left at Good Hope but still...

Lets see what else? This weekend we are going to a Christmas market??? I'm actually really excited to see but a bit skeptical. IT is really strange because I am used to Christmas being cold. It is summertime here so it doesn't feel like the holiday season!

To Be honest I don't really feel like writing so I will continue this later. I'm thinking of all the things I am thankful for and it is really refreshing to think about. There is SO much that I never give enough credit for and spending quiet time just on gratitude feels wonderful.

Sorry about the lame-o blog... hopefully next time it will be better!!!

"I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but i can do somthing.

And, I will not let what I cannot do

interfere with what I can do."

I'm one happy camper

2007-11-17T00:54:00.000-08:00

A kitchen party. This is the night before a woman gets married. Apparently they teach the bride how to "go to bed" but I didn't see any of that. It's really strange. The bride NEVER smiled the whole time.

Meet Bakari. We call me Popati which means rough. He's lovable but VERY rough.

Children at Living Water driving in th dala dala.

Grubbin' with my hands. Sexy!

My old host mama.

Living Water Kids again.

I was SO sweaty but this is the handsome Juma.

Juma and Swaifi just being kids :)

The stunning water fall at Kilimanjaro.

You know you are in Africa when you have to push the daladala.

My maasai friends!

The infamous goat that I ate at the wedding!

He's precious.

Ninafuraha.

Good Afternoon America! This week has been pretty casual but still good. I actually only taught one day this week and the rest of the time I was at home helping Saum. I was SUPPOSED to go on my safari but a bunch of BS happened with the company so I never went. SO frustrating. But, I did plan my trip to Zanzibar which is SO exciting! Hopefully I'll come home with a sweet tan!

So this week Bakari (the little one in the close up picture) ripped his pants at school. He forgot to wear underwear and he ran all the way home with his bum hanging out. I didn't see it but heard it was hilarious. These kids are SO dang cute.

Yesterday, I went to the goat market. How I was leered into that I still have no idea...never again! Actually it was good to see once but still, very bizarre. Not to be graphic but the male goat anatomy is a sight I wish I never saw. Saggy water balloons is a perfect visual! Not to mention they way they crap...looks painful. hahaha sorry i know I'm crude by my goodness people! While you are watching, smelling, hearing, and "admiring" the goat, they serve you chunks of goat meat on a platter. After my wedding experience, I am so OVER goat. I was never into but now its really over. Also, when it starts getting dark the mosquitoes come out. And, there is no such thing as electricity at the goat market. Walking blind among god knows what is an adventure in itself. It involved a lot of laughing, tripping, and slight anxiety.

This is my last week at Good Hope. The thought of saying goodbye to these 9 kids kills me. My heart is so attached and its going to hurt :( I go to Living Water for 2 weeks then Zanzibar for my last week. I cannot believe I only have one month left. I have been here for 7 weeks! I can't believe how fast time has gone by!!!

Well, I'm in a rush so I need to go. Enjoy the pics! There are so many better ones but lots of them don't load. These are all old so hopefully soon I can post skydiving and all that jazzy stuff. I hope everyone is enjoying there week! Thinking about Thanksgiving coming up makes me super homesick!!!

Love to you all!

What's going to happen is going to happen.
You can't stop the rain.

i'm addicted to adventure.

2007-11-11T00:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of the most exhilarating, liberating, and adventurous days in my whole life. I have always wanted to go skydiving and I finally did! Check mark on my list of things to do before I die. Let me tell you, everyone should jump!

So, I was pretty freaking nervous starting. Honestly, I was more stoked than scared. I never was actually afraid which shocked me! Mike (the other volunteer) and I went. The bus to Moshi was about 2 hours long... it only created more anticipation! The company picked us up at the bus station and we were off! It was pretty surreal. Since this is something I have always dreamed off, I couldn't believe that sooner than later, the rush of actually completing it was going to happen. It was awesome.

Mike went first. Only one jumper at one time in this dinky little plane. Seriously, it looked like a toy plane. No seats besides the pilot, just enough room to barely squeeze three people in the back. Two staff jump at a time but only one is strapped to you. I watched Mike land and I was soooo excited! I never felt unsafe or unsure. I never once gave it a second thought; I was determined and simply ready! I put on my jump suit which is quite possibly the most unflattering get up I have ever worn! The funniest part was my "i love dad" pajama pants that I had to wear. I did laundry the day before and literally everything was soaked besides my pj's that say I love dad all over them. I had no choice and it was hilarious! Anyhoo, then I wore this funny looking hat. You really do not care; i actually felt pretty diver hip!

Taking off my stomach was in knots. I could not stop smiling! The staff were so cool and made you feel so safe. It took about 20 minutes to reach the jumping point. 10,000 feet in the air. There was a meter thing that measured when to stop. It goes to 10, we were at 1 when I though we should stop. My tandem started laughing at me! The whole 20 minutes I was just in awe. I was never hesitant, just super anxious. The view was stunning. Mt. Kilimanjaro was mostly covered in clouds but it was still spectacular...

My tandem started repeating to me what we had already rehearsed on the ground. I completely blanked and starting getting a little like ah... ok! After a few minutes the door flew open. That was the worst part of the whole dive. You can feel the air and my heart was pounding soooooo fast. The videographer literally climbed underneath the wing of the plane and just hung there. He looked at me and gave me a devious smile. You know he was thinking mu hahahah! My tandem and i scooted to the edge and my legs were just dangling! The ground was just green and brown squares. All my senses were on over load. My whole body was just like ahhhhh!!! Then we jumped!!! Let me tell you...

IT WAS EUPHORIC!

I previously asked my tandem to do some flips and spins so we did! It was incredible. We free falled for about 35 seconds at 120 MPH. INSANE! All you can see in open skies, clouds, blue, green. I felt like Rose in Titanic when she opens her arms on the front of the boat, only better. It went by so fast! He pulled the chute and it was soooo relaxing. My adrenaline was still to the max and I hadn't peed my pants so I was good to go. It was like I was flying. He let me hold the parachute. It was so liberating. I felt like I could do anything and go anywhere! It was far different than anything I have ever experienced. Fear was never involved; only pure satisfaction.

Landing was so easy. The tandem does all the work! I was kinda hoping to have some really intense land but it was so easy! He said put your legs up. Then stand. All the sudden I was back on solid ground. The first thing that I said was "Let's do it again!".

I highly advise anyone and everyone to do this. It has become my new obsession. I talked the staff about how to get trained! Ironically, one of the guys had worked in Vegas... how strange! I am seriously looking into becoming a professional diver; perfect weekend and summer job. I can only do the video though because I am too small to be a tandem. But, they travel all over the world and do this. It would pay for my travel addiction, and I would be paid to jump. I can't think of anything better! It's a far ambition but completely doable. After this trip, I feel like anything is possible...

This leads me to a whole new topic and goals. Before my trip, i was lost. I had no real ambition to do anything and felt like I had no direction. Knowing that, I felt pretty desperate to figure it out. I had high hopes in my self discovery and I am slowing finding answers. I have discovered how important being independent is; knowing that you can accomplish things alone is very motivating. I really want to be a elementary school teacher. I know its alot of work but I believe if you are passionate about children, you can learn to love it and make such a difference. Also, traveling is my number one. And I have learned that you don't have to be rich to travel. I'm a struggling college student but still managed to save for this amazing trip. Who says I can't do it again? By the time I am 30, I want to have my masters and PHD. I know it seems extreme, but I am a changed woman and I KNOW I can do it. I am in no rush. MY career is not my only ambition. I think that society pressures this age group to get an education ASAP and find a job, husband, and start a family. As this is a goal of mine, I am in NO rush. I feel like I am learning so much and I refuse to look back and say I wish I would have enjoyed the opportunity when I had it.

Honestly, I KNOW I will never stop this lifestyle. Even when I do have a family and a career. Knowing that this is my passion, nothing will stop me and I don't think anything should. It is possible to share this with my kids and husband but still have a career and everything that I desire. The only person that used to tell me I couldn't was myself. Now that I have proved myself wrong, I am addicted. I feel alive and I never want that to change. A door has been opened and will never shut. I feel like I understand life so much better; actually, I understand Katie. I don't think I really knew who Katie was and now I do. Now, I know that I want to do and how to do it. SO, traveling and learning is something that I will forever do. I will be the family that works hard but plays hard. I've learned how important that is and can't wait to share this with someone else.

I want to share it with everyone. I know everyone doesn't have the same ambitions and goals as me, but I think many people are driven by fear. Fear of failure; I know I was and I still do but I'm allowing myself to face them and it is liberating. I can't describe the satisfaction I have received by just letting myself live. Its hard to believe that I was unhappy...

I hope all these blogs don't come across like I am some saint or some philosophical, dreamer like achiever. I don't write these to hear others compliment it; I write these because my heart tells me too. (sounds cheesy but true! ) I can't express the passion I have gained; more than that I can't express the strong desire that I want others to feel this way too. I want nothing more than to hear someone else say these same words. I truly am humbled and feel very blessed. Finally, regarding my ambitions, I don't care about what anyone thinks; I only pray that others can reach that same point. Life is way too short to not live it.

Dance while you can.

2007-11-07T01:52:00.000-08:00

yUo R my hApiNes.

Not to much to share but I am uploading pictures and a video. Lets pray that it works!!! This week has been pretty busy but I am still sick. I have pink eye and diarrhea! Ewwwww i know. It sucks soooo bad. I went to the doctor today and got some meds so hopefully all will be good soon. VERY SOON. ha. I actually wrote a really stupid poem but i left it at home so I can't post it yet. To be continued regarding the diarrhea!

So, this weekend I am going skydiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! I am so excited but terrified. We were supposed to go tomorrow but because of my lousy condition, we are stalling the extravaganza. The jump is over Mt. Kilimanjaro. For those that don't know about it google it. It is a place that people travel from all over the world just to climb. Since I am not brave enough to climb it, i figured I would jump out of a plane over instead. Pray for me!! I can't wait!

Next Friday is my safari. Lots of exciting things are happening! This trip is amazing because I get to love on kids, but also explore Africa. I really feel like i live here. Although I miss certain things, I think I could actually call this place home. Not likely but at least I'm comfortable :)

I'm trying to load more pictures but this is Africa and everything is v e r y s l o w. Hopefully the video plays. The adorable little creature is Saidi. He's the most lovable child on earth. I really wish I could take him home with me. It is so close up because he was sitting on my lap... I also couldn't edit it so its sideways! Sorry!

Recently, I was asked what the best gift is that I have ever recieved. It took me days to come up with an answer. As the holiday season is coming up, I found it fitting to dicuss it. Not what my best gift was, but the importance of meaningful possessions. Not once did I consider anything that cost a large amount of money. Not clothes, i-pod, or material items. I had never really put a lot of thought into it but I was really refreshing; very humbling. Again, it made me realize things that are really important in life. Like this person did for me, I challenge all of you reading this to analyze your favorite gift. The one that made a bad day turn good, a dry season flourish with rain. As Christmas rolls around encourage one another with gifts that will last longer than the new fashion trend; eternal gifts that make a life long impression.

I can't wait to tell you about the skydiving. Hope all is well. i miss YOU.

"If you don't live for now, then now you are not living."

People often wait to do things they really want to do, say things they meant to say, and search for a better opportunity. Start now; do not wait. Its like Home Alone (Ithink?). He had new skates and didn't want to wear them and ruin them. By the time he wanted to, they no longer fit. Don't wait, otherwise, the skate may never fit.

nakupenda <3

2007-11-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

First off... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE AND JILLY! I miss you girls and wish I could celebrate with you!!!!!!!

I wasn't prepared to write a blog today but I have some extra time so I figured I might jot a few thoughts down. Life is going pretty well this week. I was sick.. again which really, really sucks. I am feeling better as of right now so lets hope it lasts! I have also been really really busy. We changed the schedule at the orphanage so i have been teaching every other day. On the off days, we help around the house. WE cook, scrub, dust, hand wash laundry, EVERYTHING. I am drained! I have learned to cook some African food; unfortunately, it doesn't taste very good so its not much to be proud of. Anyone interested in eating with their hands and not enjoying the food.. I'd be happy to cook for you!

I'm having serious brain farts. I can't think of things to say!

I did have lots of quiet time this week which was very pleasant. It has been a LONG time that I have actually been alone. We have a male volunteer that sleeps in the outside room. There is lots of space in there so when he is out, I take advantage of the other room. I never realized how important it was to have alone time. True peace and quiet. The room is very dirty, old, and kind of cell like haha but, ironically it has been the most peaceful place of all.

I forgot to mention that I carried cow poop in a bag on my head. I was hands and feet covered in cow poop. YUMMY! ha. Living Water orphanage has a vegetable garden and we were helping fertilize or something. Somehow I got pulled into helping and well.. it was a sick yet delightful adventure! Next time, I get the honor of milking the cows.. can't wait! hahaha. I have never seen kids so happy to play with poop. It was very ironic because it was right around Halloween in the states. Kids there are receiving candy, and kids here are shoveling fly infested feces. They were overjoyed though. They had so much fun and were laughing while literally crumbling up poop chunks and tossing it where ever necessary. It was a very humbling moment. As much as I missed Halloween, it made me really realize things that REALLY matter in life.

oh! And I had my first hot shower! it was the best thing in the universe. It was a tease though because who knows when i will get the next one!

Life is good..that's for sure. I feel sooo blessed to be alive, happy, and simply just figuring it out. I heard some devastating news that left me trembling. Rest in peace to all the victims of the recent shooting in Reno. Words cannot even express how much my heart aches for the witnesses, family, friends, EVERYONE. I hate violence and I really just don't understand it. I must admit i have been dealing with some survivors guilt since I have heard the news. I am very blessed and cannot express the sympathy I have for everyone involved. Life is just too short for tragic things like this...

Well, I hope all is well with everyone and anyone reading this. I am so used to this lifestyle that I almost forget what life at home is like. I miss you all. I hope you are finding joy in the simple things in life. Take a deep breath and realize how special YOU are.

God Bless your life today.

"It is OK to question yourself. In fact, are you living the life that you want to live???"

Do not fear yourself.

<3 kates

2007-10-28T03:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all.

It has been a lonely Sunday morning. I can't really explain it nor do I have a real reason but I have just been emotional. I've been having the "holy crap I'm in Africa", but also the wow its been an interesting couple of years.

I do admit that usually I push to stay strong, brave, and optimistic, but today, I just want to be gloomy. My whole life I've been worried about what people think; I have always hated it. I'm not quite sure it will ever become non existent but I do push myself to improve. Even beginning to write this I questioned how much I want to share; fear I guess of allowing anyone and everyone know my personal emotional stability. However, on this Sunday morning in Tanzania, I am finding it quite liberating to let loose.

It sounds as if I have some dark secret desperate to let out...but i don't. I just feel lonely, homesick, and well sad. I assume its normal considering I am across the world but still, it is never very comforting. On the other hand, I am actually quite glad that I am a little upset. I was beginning to think I was too hopeful and not allowing anything to phase me. Breaking down from time to time is only expected and in fact felt pretty good.

I think I'm feeling a mixture of many emotions. These past two years have been very complex, and rather "unexpected". Since my freshman year of high school I have dramatically changed. I have formed strong walls against protecting myself; Walls that I thought were concrete, collapsed reasonably fast. It has been a whirlwind of adventures, some great, and some very painful physically and emotionally. I think that many people's lives feel as if everything hits at once and getting back on your feel is always a slow process. The process forms many positive changes and adaptations if one allows it but it is a good thing. This isn't a writing of "what a terrible two years my life sucks", its simply a "wow". I have come along way and have hopes in continuing that.

There has been moments in the past couple of years that I have been hurting and fail to recognize it myself. Fear was the only enemy. Now, when I am feeling upset, I am allowing myself to be upset. I think that it comes along with the healing and, now, I am able to see that, deal with it, and remember that tomorrow will be a much better day. In the grand scheme of things not dealing with emotions is not the way to go. That only builds a bridge set for disaster, anxious to blame anyone else but yourself.

I think I am just taking a deep breath and processing what has gone on. I woke up this morning thinking holy crap, I once had a bullet in my face! Then, holy crap, now I'm in Africa.. alone! Both occurrences that I didn't see coming but ironically pleased that both did. They both have, and continue to, change my life. Yes, today is a not-so-thankful kind of day but all in all, I'm just accepting the things I cannot change.

I like to assume that all this is part of grief. Although it has been a year and a half, there are days it feels like yesterday. Today is one of those days. Now, I rarely find myself talking about the shooting in a negative way. I actually contemplated even bringing it up publicly but it's what I'm thinking and I can't pretend otherwise. I still get mad, and just don't understand many things. I can't change the past but sometimes I just wish I could re-play it and seek answers that I will never find. These days I usually don't allow myself to waste energy on the situation but, I think it really is healthy sometimes. It was a HUGE part of my life and it still is. No matter what hemisphere I am located on, my life is still my life. I still have my life at home, and I still have the realization of "I am, who I am"...no matter where I reside.

This is by no means a sympathy plea; I'm just expressing how I feel. I want people to see and learn all sides of me. I'm katie rae; I'm human. I think conversing through a computer screen with no immediate reaction makes this far easier, especially since I am across the world. Nonetheless, I am happy I did so and most likely this won't be the last. This is only my story, no different than anyone else. Each individual has past scars and I encourage YOU to just let loose from time to time.

I am thinking of many people and appreciate the continued support. I officially hate Global Crossroads and highly encourage no one to volunteer through them. If you are interested in volunteering ask me MANY questions. I am working to move to Living Water Orphanage. I visited them this weekend and was extremely pleased with my experience. There website is www.livingwaterchildren.org if anyone is interested. It truly is an amazing organization run by a very inspiring family. I will be very honored to join them and learn all that I can about humility, compassion, and selflessness.

I anticipate all is well at home. Miss you. Love you.

Ahsante Sana.

kates

"You may go days without thinking of God, but there's never a moment he's not thinking of you."

2007-10-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

These are some of my little wototos!

Juma. SO handsome and beyond sensitive. He's going to be a total ladies man!

I am so annoyed!!! The other pictures won't upload. I will try again soon. I miss everyone!! I can't remember if I mentioned it but I ate liver. SICK. Today I am going to another orphanage and staying the night!

sadiki na amani.

got goat?

2007-10-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is gonna be quick and probably quite rubbish but I had a wonderful weekend!

We were invited to a wedding on Saturday...it was a christian wedding not Muslim like we thought! First we arrive and the bride and groom were on a massive tractor! That is what they show up in for the wedding. Then, we walk in and again are the only white people. They seated us front row RIGHT next to the family! We really couldn't understand what was being said but we suddenly realized it when we were announced one by one as special guests!! It was so funny but so embarrassing! They were all cheering and we didn't even know how to act! It was quite an honor though. I actually started getting teary eyed after a while because they were so welcoming even though they had no idea who we were. Since we were special guests, we received all the "special" ceremonious things that come along with the occasion. This was a Chagga Tribe wedding; they serve a a VERY dead goat, head fully intact, hooves tied together, charred hair, and parsley swaying in the burnt teeth. I hope you get the drift! The creature was on a silver platter and the chef came dancing in as it entered the building. Well, the VIP people (bride, groom, family....US) receive the honor of eating the goat in front of everyone one by one. As they called our names and shined the bright light on us we had to pay our respects and choke down this "meat". Again, I could not stop laughing. As the groom fed me, a piece flapped on my face before entering my mouth! It was as if I was chewing 13 pieces of Bazooka bubble gum! The taste was a mixture of the smell of horse and an ace bandage. Ha... it was quite a delicacy. It really was an experience that I will never forget. when I can upload pictures you can laugh with me!!

The rest of the wedding really was an honor. I don't think I will ever get that experience again and I VERY thankful for participating in an real African wedding.

Yesterday, I went on a walking safari in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I am so sore today! Let me tell you, if you ever come to Africa you must do this. We we hiked to this gorgeous waterfall, ate lunch underneath it, walked across it, and explored! It was soooooo beautiful! It was so nice to be out of the city. It was so peaceful out there. We were surrounded by banana trees and coffee. We ate wild strawberries AND visited a real Chagga house. Then we tasted banana beer...it was so n-a-s-t-y. I added climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro on my list of things to do before I die. I hear it is miserable but worth it when it's over... exciting! Yesterday was very adventurous and I felt so alive! I can't think of any other way I would have wanted to spend my day. When I was underneath the waterfall I was soo grateful to be there at that exact moment. It felt as if nothing else was going on; a moment of complete bliss.

The longer and longer I am here the happier I am that I came alone. Although I miss many people I am learning so much about myself that I don't feel i would have been able to do if I was with close friends or family. It is the very vulnerable moments that I do the most growing. I am healing and actually allowing myself to be moved. Everything happens for a reason and I have great confidence that I am in the perfect place, at the perfect time. I have challenged myself and encourage everyone to do the same. No need to go as extreme but the small things add up to create very positive movement. I am afraid; feeling the fear and doing it anyway is a very powerful feeling. I am thankful I have learned this at such a young age however, I push people of all ages to create obstacles with intention. And, do it solo.

Anyway, this week is pretty normal. Teaching, playing, loving. We are going to a "kitchen party". I guess it is the night before the wedding when the bride is sent off. I am very anxious to check it out! Also, I am braiding my whole head. HAHA... should be very interesting and s-e-x-y. haha NOT.

hopealliswellaroundtheworld.love.

k a t i e

happy birthday sarah!!!!

2007-10-20T02:48:00.000-07:00

first off! Sarah is 21...YAY!!! i miss you best friend and I wish I could be there to celebrate!!!!

This week has been VERY long but very successful! There is so much to say so it will be choppy...

Sunday was the creepiest, strangest, most uncomfortable setting I have EVER been in! Look up GeorDavie Ministries. This guy is insane. We went with our host family. Didnt' want to be rude, so we joined them for "church". Holy crap this was not church. We were the only white people among eh.... 2000 black people. Slightly intimidating to say the least. So.. they all start hissing and praying this weird prayer. It was so loud the ground was shaking. Then GeorDavie came out and starting saying he was there to take the devil out of the possessed. It was 4 1/2 hours long!!!!!! I couldn't eveb believe what I was seeibng. They started fainted and literally SCREAMING at the top of their lungs. It was so bizarre. Then he said you were blessed if you gave money so all theses poor people were giving money to this creep. It was terrible and I couldn't wait to leave. oh! then they came to take a picture of marianne and I... we said no but were afraid of being possessed! ha.. it was complete nonscene.

So then came monday and i made it to the orphanage. I finally felt like i could call this place home. I met the children and the other volunteers. The children are the most special and the most adoreable creatures on earth; clearly God's gift to me. So here's the scoop! I live with 9 children all ages 4-7. Seven boys, two girls. Just how i like it haha! It is SUCH an experience living with them. They are one big family.. it really is amazing. They go to GoodHope school where there are 32 children. During the day we help teach them basic English, math, and the older kids science. Then we eat lunch, recess, and more teaching. I have had no teaching experience so... man it is tiring! It is hard, but well worth every minute. Then, we go back to the orphanage (its about a 2 min. walk) and the kids sleep for about 2 hours. When they wake up, we color, play football, watch movies, make puzzles, i dunno.. kid stuff. Then they eat at about 7:30 and go straight to bed. My favorite part of the day is tucking them in at night. They brust their teeth, and yell teeeechaaaa!!! They call everyone teacher. We read them a story before bed and they love it. They climb in your lap, play with your hair, hold your hold, and simply just love you. Then they reach out and give you a big hug and kiss.. it is the sweetest.

Kids are kids no matter what language, country, or planet. They just want to be loved and have SO much love to give. They are so innocent and have SO little but jsut love life. It is extremely humbling. I finally feel like I am here for a reason. I was so confused and frustrated before but now I know I am here for a purpose.

Although I love what I am doing, I have had a few challenges so far. I had 70 dollars stolen from me at my host family. SO ANNOYING. I locked it all up but somehow it still turned up missing. And, I got very sick this week. I had to go to the hospital to check for malaria because I had all the same symptoms. Luckily, it was just a very bad flu! Still, it sucked and I was in bed for two days straight. However, I read a WHOLE novel so it made the time go by relatively fast. I am recovering well; the kids make it so much easier to feel better!

The food at the orphanage sucks!!!!!!!!!! I eat one slice of bread in the morning, tea, rice and some mushy sauce, bread and tea, then rice and some mushy sauce. EVERY DAY it is the same. Good for losing weight but man im starving! Right now I am at McMoody's. BEST place ever in Arusha. I actually ate a cheeseburger..... yum yum!

I feel like i had so much to say coming here to write but I left my notepad at home so I am forgetting everything....

I am actually starting to feel like i live here. I NEVER thought I would say that. The things that were so shocking don't really phase me anymore. I never thought I would be comfortable but I really am. Thank heavens! The children make my life so much happier. Even though I miss home and have times when I am super homesick, I think about leaving the kids and it kills me. Saying goodbye is going to be the hardest ever.

Today while I was riding the Daladala to town, we almost fell in a ditch! it was way scary and I was at the window... it's funny now but at the time i almost peed myself!

MY favorite kid is saidi. He's the youngest and sooooo cute. They all dance and dammmmnnnnn babies got back! hahah no seriously, these kids booty shake and they are like 4 years old!!!! It is the funniest thing. I have it on video but it is not uploading!!! ugh! Hopefully soon i can get it to work.

Also this week I washed my clothes... by hand. I will forever respect any mom that handwashes clothing. It was so tiring and took forever. God Bless electronics!!!!

I'm completely blabbing and not making any sense. Tonight I am going to a Muslim Wedding... hmmmmm should be interesting??? Tom. I am going on a walking safari to Mt. Kilimanjaro... can't wait! I am going with my Dar volunteers so I am excited to see them again.

Just a shout out to my Big, little, and new Grandlittle! I miss you and I am so happy to be a grandma! yay!

Well I miss home and everyone at home... Have a wonderful week and remember that you don't have to be in a different country to make a difference in someones life!

"A little rain can make a flower stem grow. A little love can change a life."

<3

you know you are in Africa when...

2007-10-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

Good morning all...

Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me. Before I came on this trip there were two things that I tried to prepare myself for.
1. I knew I couldn't help everyone
2. This trip would be very challenging; not so much fun, but in the end it would be extremely fulfilling

Well, both of those became reality.

My host baba (dad) works at the head office for the Lutheran Church in Tanzania. He hooked us up with some doctors just to chat. It was VERY nice of him and great to see some better organization skills being practiced compared to what I have been experiencing. It was a selfish moment that I regret now. I was annoyed at seeing programs well organized while i was trying to help WOFATA which is completely unstable and clearly needs tremendous work. After the meeting with the doctor we traveled on the DalaDala which is when I almost snapped. I have 3 bug bites on my face, 2 on my neck, and like 4 on my legs. I was hot, hungry, and completely confused as to where I was traveling. I was squashed by an over sized woman and child and could not even see past the 3 inches in front of me. We were in one of the worst areas and I was just pissed and didn't' really understand why. Oh not to mention when I got out of the bus there was a lady literally beating a donkey; I felt like i was in a nightmare and would never wake up!

My frustration suddenly vanished; instead I completely heartbroken and overwhelmed to say the least. The images were just like on the TV ads that show the worst of the worst. All the
"homes" were made off dried cow poop and bamboo sticks. The rooftops were caving in and the small children barely had any smiles nor shoes. Everyone was staring; i don't think I will ever adjust to that. Then I met Tereza. She is a middle-aged, HIV positive woman struggling just to survive. She welcomed us into her home. I knew I would be making home visits but I never knew the feelings that would come along with it. It was so depressing and i felt SO helpless. We starting talking with her and she starting crying. The society is so corrupt here especially when it comes to women. The men dominate and have little to no respect for women. You can tell this lady is lost in her own misery. We left her with smiles and it made me feel like I was making a slight difference but not much. Then we met Kea. He is 72 and is Masaai. In that tribe they practice polygamy. He had 4 wives and the last one tested positive. His 6 year old son is now positive and is receiving no treatment. The little boy came up and sat next to me and shook my hand. What a gentleman! It killed me though. We did the same there and told them we would check in with them next week.

As i left I was so overwhelmed. I held it together during the visits but I cant explain it... I was just sad. I know we are helping them but actually changing the lifestyle here takes years. Knowing that these people will still go on living like that no matter what you do is difficult to swallow. Its like once you see this, you feel so responsible to do something about it. That is when i needed to remind myself of my preparations before i arrived. Thinking and feeling are two complete opposites. I know I can only do so much...

I think the next time I am in that situation I will be much more prepared. Every day here is a new culture shock because you see something shocking each and every step. It is complex environment and nothing comes to surprise.

I must say that through all the challenges change is happening. Maybe more in myself than the African people but regardless, transformations are occurring. After yesterday I was emotionally just drained. Like I said in the last blog it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Expressing and venting makes me feel so much better...

Enough of that depressing stuff! Marianne and I have found some humor in the African lifestyle. Part of it may be cruel but it really does lighten the mood. Through boredom we put together a list of things. Although it is probably one of those "you just have to be there" still.. try and relate people!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN AFRICA WHEN...

... You pee on your leg and you don't even care.
... The food looks the same going in as it does coming out.
... the bus carries three times the maximum occupancy no matter who, what, where, or when.
... You have memorized the diverse scents of body odor. We have actually discussed our favorites among the many!
... my butt is the smallest in town. I have a big badunkadunk too!
... if you leave the house with out antibacterial gel you might as well prepare your funeral. (so bad i know)
... dogs run wild and goats are on leashes! (you think i am kidding but I am not at all!)

Oh there are so many more. I will slowly display them when I feel it is fitting! I hope you don't think I am just cruel..it is necessary to make light of the culture!

I am going to the orphanage on Monday and only working for WOFATA one or two days next week. I'm not sure i could handle that everyday! Although i have been warned that the orphanage is almost worst. We will have to see!!! I hope everyone is having a blessed day!!

Be thankful in ALL things.

KATIE

I need to V E N T

2007-10-11T05:12:00.000-07:00

I knew my trip was going to face some challenges and let me tell you... it has!! Yes, many things have been wonderful but a lot has gone on in the last 48 hours!

Yesterday, I had my first day of work. I was under the impression that we were meeting patients at the hospital and talking with them to get to know their lifestyle. Well, we met HIV positive people but it was in a cafe; completely unorganized. We asked them questions about what life is like, how old they are, blah blah blah. They all answered the same and seemed to not need any help besides financial help. I know I seem very cold hearted right now but if you were there, you would have been beyond annoyed. Honestly, I didn't travel 10000 miles away to have someone tell me the obvious! We are supposed to be working with WOFATA which has been around for 4 years. They seek sick women and try to build their confidence in hopes that the women will eventually become public with their illness. Sounds great right? NOT. I know I sound so harsh but we were basically organizing all this crap to try and get them money. They didn't want our help other than that. It was so frustrating. The pieces just never fit and it really made me start wondering what I got myself into!!! We are willing to help the sick but not supply money and do all this work for them. It is like they just bounce from volunteer to volunteer to pay for their dinner that night. NOT what I signed up for...

So, we left the "meeting" being extremely frustrated. It is difficult when you put so much money, time, and effort into something and it is just not what you expected. Don't get me wrong, it was really interesting to speak to these women but they are healthy and seem to be perfectly well. They are extremely capable and could actually do something for themselves. I wouldn't mind helping them and teaching them how to fund raise or even help them make crafts and stuff but I am not just going to hand over money to buy their carrots that night; that is not fair.

Last night was tough. It was a mixture of being super homesick, tired, hot, and just uneasy. I thought about the situation way to much and just broke down. I wanted to come here to feel like i would make a difference and working with this particular group, i knew i would never accomplish that. There was so much more that just didn't fit.

Sleeping last night was such a blessing. Right after dinner marianne and I went straight to bed. We discussed what needed to happen and what we were going to say. I woke up with knots in my stomach!

Marianne was feeling sick this morning so it gave us an excuse to not go to work and repeat the same thing that happened previously. Instead, we called the head coordinator and called a meeting. I'm not gonna lie, speaking with 4 black men who barely speak English is very intimidating. However, I faced my first real challenge and succeeded! Marianne and i told them everything we were feeling. We told them that things dealing with this project need to change because no other volunteer should be placed here when there is clearly no organization. We approached the situation very professionally and they were more than accommodating! We told them that we want to help these women but not in this manner. I also said that i want to go to the orphanage on Monday and stop doing this project full time. It was actually a really awesome confrontation. Although it was really difficult, they were very appreciative because they want to make there program better. Now, we still get to help these women but only when we have free time. On Monday we are both going to Good Hope Orphanage. I can finally do what I came here to do but at the same time we changed this program to benefit everyone... it really was fascinating!

Something else really cool happened. Our host mom sews. We suggested that she should teach the woman of WOFATA to sew so t hey could meet for support groups while doing an activity. This morning she came home and told us that she talked to her sister and she got a room to host these lessons! That may not seem like a big deal but honestly... that is very hard to do and it was done in like an hour!

24 hours ago I was pissed, upset, and beyond frustrated. Now, I have faced the challenge and it worked out better for everyone. It is ironic how if you are patient but work diligently, things improve. All things really are possible but not if you don't put yourself out there. Together, marianne and I worked, and created movement. In this third world environment, that is hard to do. I am feeling much better and I see the women and culture with a different eye...

Hopefully things continue to get better. I know this was the first real challenge and won't be the last. This is still a learning experience and i pray that I continually grow as an individual as this adventure moves forward...

<3

i have pictures!

2007-10-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

A group of men playing Bao in the market... very fun!

Driving home from the beach. I tried to get a good picture of the streets but you can't really see... ill work on that for next time!

Sunrise beach...gorgeous and very posh.

Meet Yoctan! Sweetest person alive. He is our teacher and rafiki. Nice outfit katie! ha.

I was sweating like a mad woman. This lady was nuts!

My bed with my mosquito net! It is sideways but you get the point.

This is Mali.. he is the safari guy.. very helpful!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The insects are just foul.

Me and the girls at the beach!

The food.. this is what I eat just about every meal. That's all. This is a good meal... enough said.

Howdy! I can finally upload some pictures! It is taking forever but I think it might work. I made it to Arusha...finally! ahhhh it was the L O N G E S T bus ride in my entire life. Our last night in the hostel, the staff took us out. Let me tell you it was the best night ever. We went dancing again at the local bar and I finally started getting the hang of it. These people can move their hips soo good its insane. ALL of them. I had an interesting experience with the so called "choo" which means toilet. There is no such thing as flushing toilets when you are in Africa. I'm still struggling with the squatting business and I had a difficult time when we were at dinner. There is bathrooms but they are more like squatting holes with pee all over the floor. It literally smells like ass! haha. Sorry for being vulgar but there is no other word that describes it better. Anyway, so make a long story short i had a skirt on and I dropped my underwear on the floor!!!!! it was the most rancid experience so far and the other girls were laughing at me the whole night. Now, I have forced myself to learn to squat and slowly I am mastering it. Hope this doesn't make anyone uncomfortable...i guarantee I am much more uncomfortable over here! Luckily, that event did not ruin my night. I learned to dance with the crazy drunk lady. You will see the picture of her; that says enough. She was very helpful though. Packing up and leaving the hostel was very sad. It actually felt like my new home and leaving right when you feel comfortable is difficult. I survived though and I am slowing adapting to every new environment.

The country side driving to Arusha was so beautiful. It was much better than Dar! There was trees and flowers and mountains! It was great! I got bored after the first 1500 trees and I was just ready to get to Arusha. Ten hours later we arrived and were greeting by very nice, new coordinators. They drove us to our host family. I am still with Marianne from Denmark...Thank GOODNESS. I can't imagine being alone. The family is very sweet; very shy. This is their first time hosting volunteers so I think all of us are a bit overwhelmed. Marianne and I both are experiencing culture shock all over again. I laugh when I am uncomfortable and I was literally praying the entire dinner to not laugh. Not that anything was funny but man... NO ONE was talking. I couldn't even look at Marianne because I would have lost all control. The food was actually pretty tasty although it was hard to enjoy because I could hear everyone at the table swallow. That's how silent it was. AWKWARD. After dinner we went to bed and I slept like a baby. The weather is soooooo much cooler and there are no mosquito's. Quite a few strange flying insects but I am getting used to them. Marianne and I can't figure out how to flush the toilet. right when we have a flushing toilet we cant even figure out how it works. I'm telling you, each hour here is a new adventure. It has been a lot of laughing, and the new term is "Welp, welcome to Africa!" Nothing comes to surprise here.

This morning was much more comfortable. I woke up to English rap. HAHAHAHAHAHa it was quite hilarious but I actually felt some comfort in it. I was very thankful for that. I showered and my host mama gave me a large bucket of hot water! I haven't felt hot water in over a week. It was such a pleasant treat! I ate some omelet sort of thing for breakfast. Then we walked about 2 miles to the meeting place to start our project. We met our director and he was very welcoming. It was nice! So today, we are resting and starting our project tomorrow. That is why I have time now to write. I get to interview 3 AIDS patients at the hospital tomorrow. I'm so excited but a little nervous.

I have figured out that this is going to a long 10 weeks. I feel like I have so many stories already; i can't imagine after three months. Culture shock is very strange... it gives you a very uneasy feeling and very vulnerable to all emotions. Luckily I have Marianne so we have been able to discuss every emotion. Again, ups and downs but all around a very educational, funny, and perhaps adventurous. I have learned to be more patient but still have a long way to go. The environment is very slow here and not much is organized. But, I still manage to love it.

That is all for now! I'm going to try and upload these pictures and videos. Hope all is well across the world!!!

My new favorite word is Amani. It means peace.. it has been my saving grace!

Kwaheri!

SO much to say, so little time

2007-10-07T04:19:00.000-07:00

Habari zu Mchana! My goodness I have such little time and so much to say. The internet has not been working so I have not been able to get online.. it sucks! So.. I am going to try and recap this last week. This week has been one of the most educational, eye-opening weeks of my life. I have been doign the language and culture course and tomorrow I make my way up to Arusha to start my projects. They switched my projects so I start the HIV tomorrow not the orphange. It will be very interesting!

Ok so... I have finally been able to come out of the culture shock. Things are still shocking but I almost cannot remember what went on a few days ago because it is almost a blur. I have seen almost ALL of Dar Es Salaam and learned so much from each place. So, after my first night things got a little easier. I was able to learn the dynamics of living in a hostel. Njo is the cook and she has been preparing our meals. The food is um..... not the best. It is called ugali and it looks like sticky porrage. I don't know how to spell that but it has no flavor and you eat it with your hands. If you order fish, its the WHOLE fish. Chicken, looks like it still can cluck. Its not wonderful but I stick to the steamed rice and beans.

I'm all jumbled and trying to recap. Wednesday night was incredible. Mali and Kukunkunku are two guys that do the safaris and they work with Global Crossroads...very sweet and informative. They invited us to go dancing with the locals. You can only imagine 4 white girls in east Africa with the locals. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's all i have to say. It was amazing though. We were driving there at about 8 00 and everyone is on the streets. The daladalas are still jam packed and life never stops. So we get to the bar and everyone is so welcoming. The dancing is nothing like American dancing. I can't describe it but I looked terrible and laughed the WHOLE time. It was quite comical. The whole experience was such an honor. It was great to see happy people among all the depressing things here. They were the most friendly and encouraging individuals I have ever met. Mali talked about serious issues like AIDS and tribal traditions. It blew my mind. I feel guilty now for being completely naive about what really goes on in other places. It is unbelieveable. It is even more unbelievable that I am able to see it with my own eyes... i feel completely honored.

So this whole week has been language lessons and site seeing. I havent done much helping yet. This week is strictly for us to learn the culture and see the tourist spots. So.. I have seen some really cool things! We went downtown. The only way I can describe it is people everywhere, beggars, crippled, banks, cell phones, babies, and no driving laws. it was a sight to see. We went to the fish market and the stench was so bad i literally was trying to hold my puke. I bought an awesome game called BAO. It is kind of like mancala but better. All the locals play is and I am a pro. I amproud to say thatno one can beat me! ha...its great. :>

Yoctan is our teacher and now is our friend. We made him a thank you card and just gave it to him. When I think about saying goodbye it brings me to tears. I would do anything for him to see what America is like. He is so curious to learn and he is VERY intelligent. Also, he is a great teacher. I know plenty of Swahili to get by and they all expect us to be fluent by the time we leave. I truly hope so... its a way cool language!

We went to Bagamoro which is about 45 minutes out of Dar. The whole way there is trees and huts. It is really pretty. There we ate lunch and had a tour of all the historical sites. it was the first time I have ever seen the Indian Ocean. It was stunning. There was so much history here. We have also been to two museums. They are kinda boring to me but the other girls liked them. I have learned that I'm not much the museum girl..my attention span never lasts past the first president.

Yesterday, we spend the day at Sunrise beach. For some reason we are getting special treatment from the staff members. I think it is a mutual appreciation kind of thing. They usually don't take people to this beach but I am so over joyed they they did. Sunrise beach is a 5star resort that all the mzumgu's *white people* pay for. It was SO COOL. This was a vacation! The beaches are gorgeous. The sand is white and soft and the water is crystal clear. I wish I could upload my pictures because you would be amazed. I went swimming in a t-shirt and the water was so warm! We drank pepsi and relaxed...what a treat.

This morning, we went to church. By far one of the best experiences in my life thus far. the church was so pretty and the people were so happy! It was a combination of southern baptist and Lutheran. That's the best description. All the sudden there were lines of the choir singing and clapping down the aisle. I couldn't even understand one word but the energy was insane. I felt so alive and so blessed to experience it. I wish everyone could be in such a raw environment. You need to see it to believe it. God is good that's all a sister has to say haha.

Today is our last evening in the Hostel and they are treating us to dinner on the town tonight. I am a little hesitant but pleased to participate. These people are beyond inspiring. Tomorrow we are leaving to go to Arusha and our other coordinators are picking us up at the bus station. The real test will come in these next couple weeks!

I finally got around to writing myself a letter. I am writing another one when I leave and going to compare the two. I also wrote a list of goals and adventures I hope to complete.

Many people have been asking the basic questions of food and stuff so I am just going to rattle off a bunch of chaos. Food: not so great. I am not scared. I feel super safe with the staff and the local people. I watch my bag everywhere I go but i never feel unsafe. The saddest thing so far is probably being downtown. The disabled are VERY disabled and they are all alike. No hygiene, can't walk, and just out of it. Many people have sores and it is so sad. The other day I was sitting next to a small child and her mom and the girl had mouth sores. I felt helpless. They only thing I could do is pray. So far I have had running water and a bed. I sleep under a mosquito net, it actually comforts me. It is like a little cocoon, i think i might miss it! ha.

I am not too homesick. There has been times but honestly, I am so ecstatic to be here. I feel privileged and I hope everyone can do something like this. I'm still waiting to have that strong need to go home because I know it will come but so far...im money.

I think that is all for now. I would love to share intricate details but i just don't have the time to do that. I already have so many pictures and videos and can't wait to share my travels with you! Please keep up the prayers.. they have been working. Mimi nina penda rafiki. Next time you hear from me I will be in Arusha... yay! Thank you to those who have been emailing me. All the encouragement is so greatly appreciated. It truly makes me smile reading little pieces from home.

Sadiki.

BYE!!!!

ps: i just read my post through really quickly before I post it and I realized I said ''so'' loads of times. I will work on that next time!

Mambo vipi?

2007-10-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Jambo! I am pleased to annouce that I am finally in Africa! It has been one LONG day and there is so much to say. Please excuse my mispelled words and jubbled sentences because I am crammed for time but I want to share my experience so far. So today on the plane I was feelign a little homesick. I was tired, anxious, and nervous because the lonesomeness was really starting to set it. But, we arrived in Tanzania right when the Sun was rising. It was like God was saying look at my beautiful creation and find peace in what you are doing. That feeling was extremely comforting and I don't think I will ever forget that moment. As I was leaving the plance and walking towards passport checks, my heart was beating so fast I swear it could have jumped out of me. I wasn't scared, but I was most definitely uneasy about being in this foreign place. But, everything worked out. I did exactly as my coordinator said and looked for Yotam Bonifice who was holding a poster with my name on it. Finding him was like finding a gold mine. I was SO happy however I was still nervous. All the africans stare and they think are super rich. Anyhoo, we got in a van with torn seats, i swear flat tires, and no chance of AC. The heay here is so hot. I mean.... hot! Its like a hot tropical humid air that seriously makes my armpits leave sweatmark and that has never happened in my life. The drive from the airport to my hostel was about 30 min. It was sooooo strange. I was in complete culture shock. All around me was madness. The sides of the road were covered with people. All sorts of different black people. All thewomen were carrying baskets on their heads and babies on their backs. The men were riding bikes with stacks and stacks of eggs on the back of it. Small children were in uniform walking to class. The traffic was out of control and the people stared at me through the windows. It wasn't a scary feeling, they were jsut interested in me. The streets are covered with litter. I'm talking disgusting garbage. The first medic I saw read 1. AIDS 2. Mouth Sores 3. Chronic Malaria. It was that moment that I went ... holy Sh**. As we pulled off to a dirt road this old man hopped in the van. We call him Baba which means grandfather. He was so happy to see me that he couldnt' stop hugging me. It was cute but not gonna lie a little overwhelming. So we finally made it to the hostel and I was greeted my 5 other lovely volunteers. A couple from hawaii, and all the rest are girls. One from London, Denmark, and Seattle. It's been awesome. I am sharing a room with the Dutch woman. Anyway so i had my first Swahili lesson with my teacher Yoctan. He's the man. He is 23 and my height. He speaks great English and has had a very interesting life. I think he's infected but I don't dare ask. After a few hours of that we went to the Village Musuem. Besides the dreadful walk there the museum was great. It has all the villages and their huts and culture. I even saw wild monkeys and this group African dance with drums... the whole deal. It really was an adventure. Then we hopped on the Dala Dala. That is the local bus. By the way Yoctan is also our day time travel guide so we weren't alone. So we took the bus to the Carvers Market. I swear I felt like I was in a dream. I didn't think places like this existed. Think of the poorest street downtown and multiply it by 100. These people have nothing. The market sells arts and crafts and tourist gifts. I didn't buy anything because we are goign to city tomorrow and I dont want to waste money. My Swahili actuallu was okay! I have a long way to go but I actually had a few conversations. It is still strange because everyone stops, stares, and greets you. They are very friendly people and jsut want to talk. It's cool, but very intimidating at first.

I am so tired I can't even explain it. Its 8.20 pm here and I am abotu to hit the sack. Jet lag is no bueno. Oh! look up the Massai tribe on google. Those people really exist and they are fascinating. I saw so many of them and they are just like the books say. It really is very odd culture but beautiful in some strange way. The life stil here is polipoli. That means very slow.

It's an interesting world over here. It has been an interesting adventure so far. I have learned so much in these last 72 hours, I can't even imagine 3 months. ugh.. the thought of being dirty for 3 more months and missing home is not a good combo. I love what I am doing here but I do miss home. All the other volunteers said they went through the same thing on their first day. I'm sure it will pass... thanks for all the continuous thoughts and prayers. I can feel them even though I am 10000 miles away. Ill try and keep you updated as often as possible...

good night!!!!!

it's raining, it's pouring.

2007-10-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

iii carumba its pouring rain over here! I am soaking wet at a Kinkos somewhere around Green Park. Today has been soooo challenging but well worth every bit of it. I am trying to upload some pictures so you can see what I have been doing. I woke up at 7:30 and I was still so tired. I went to breakfast and packed my bags. My luggage is still at the hotel and I need to go grab it before my flight tonight. Let me just tell you thank goodness for nice people. I found my way to the FREE bus and then to the underground (subway). I purchased an all day travel pass for the Piccadilly Line. It works wonders! I have had trouble with my credit card though. Thank goodness I have cash and could exchange it for pounds because I would have been completely stuck. Anyway some woman felt bad for me and helped me out. GOD BLESS HER!

Luckily, I found my way to South Kensington where all the museums are. I went to the Science Museum, Natural History Museum, and the Victoria and Albert Museum. They were all interesting but truthfully, I was bored after about um.... 2 minutes of each. Surprise Surprise? Dad, you would have loved the Science museum; I thought about you the whole time.

Things are going really well though. It sucks not being able to share this experience with anyone. Right when you really wish you had someone to laugh at when you look so stupid is right when you realize you are alone again. I have had a lot of peace in my alone time but i'm ready to meet some friends. It's interesting being the outsider... it's kinda nice because I really don't care about much but at the same time its frustrating standing in the middle of a foreign country soaking wet with a torn map. I have had many highs and few lows. Not to shabby :)

Along with this journal I have my own personal journal I write in each chance I get. I am trying to write down at least one thing I learned that day and my favorite moment. Yesterday, I learned that an elevator is called a "lift" here. Seems fitting but at first it did not register. I also learned that it's okay to be completely unfamiliar.

I have a LONG day still ahead. I have to catch some lunch and then head back to Heathrow; thinking about picking up that luggage causes my stomache to nausiate. Then I am finally on my way to Tanzania. Right when I am getting used to London, I vacate. Being able to explore has really sparked an even greater interest in backpacking Europe. These past two days has jsut been a tease. I swear if I wasn't sure about Africa I would just stay in Europe for three months! I have WAY better pictures but it took forever and these were the only ones that popped up. Hopefully I can get more later. Cheers!

Love from far far away,

ka ka ka katie